It had been a nice day off. The terrans had left early to spend time with Optimus, Megatron, and the others, and the human Malto’s were off running human errands. It was a coincidence that Breakdown had been so close by, and it didn’t take much to convince him to go out racing. It never did.
After a few rounds of almost winning, Bumblebee decided to take a break on the part of the Malto’s property with the best view.
“You seem strung out, Bee.” Breakdown pointed out as soon as Bumblebee fully laid out on the grass.
“Yeah, well, it’s been a long few weeks” Bee chuckled.
“The kids being difficult lately?” He sat down next to the scout.
“Not significantly more than usual”
“ If I didn’t know better, I’d say this is the hardest mission you’ve ever been assigned” he snickered.
“Well, its up there with the longest.” Bee sat up.
“Still no clue when it’ll be over?”
“Nope! But I’m savouring it while I can.”
“While you can?” Breakdown smirked a bit, “Do you think the terrans are getting sick of you?”
Bumblebee’s relaxed smile dropped, optics cast downward
Breakdown cringed slightly at the reaction.
“I’m not being serious, Bee.”
“I know,” He didn’t look up, “But you’re still right.”
“Those kids love you. I don’t think they’d let you leave if you tried.”
“Well, that’s not how it works unfortunately.”
Breakdown stared, not wanting to say the wrong thing again.
‘I’m very quickly running out of things to teach them.” Bee crossed his legs. “They can nearly defend themselves, and they work great as a team. Soon they’ll need someone who can teach them to be well-rounded bots.”
“And what, you’re square?”
“Bee, what else do they need to learn that you can’t teach them? Why can’t you teach them about life?”
“I can’t make them into fully developed individuals…” He looked away again, “Not when I’m barely a person myself.”
Breakdown scrunched his face up, flicking the scout on the shoulder.
“Don’t say that kind of stuff. Who’s telling you you can’t teach the kids those things?”
“It’s not… I just-“ His servos rested on his knees, gripping them slightly, “I’m not a person, I’m a tool.”
Breakdown stared, confused.
“I’m a means to an end, nothing more” Bee stared into the distance.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Breakdown felt his spark drop a little in its chamber.
“I’m a scout, my job is to stay hidden. I’m good at following orders and saying away, that’s all.” His optics closed, “I’m not a person. I’ve never been a person. I was born a soldier…” They opened again, “And I’ll die one.”
Neither spoke for a few kliks…
“Who told you that stuff? Cause it’s stupid”
Bumblebee rolled his optics.
“I’m a spy, I can pick up subtext in conversations. There’s a reason I was sent away…” He looked away again, “I would have been in the way otherwise.”
“Didn’t OP tell you it was to protect you from G.H.O.S.T. when they turned out to be evil.”
“You think the big guy’s never told a lie before?”
They were eclipsed in silence again
“Can I be honest with you?”
Breakdown chuckled uncomfortably, “Was this not you being honest?”
“I’m a lousy scout. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer in hiding without losing my mind a bit.”
“Well… I guess it’s good you were pulled out for this.”
“I mean… I was also briefly put back into hiding when G.H.O.S.T. discovered me. That was somehow even worse, but yeah, that’s the past. I’m just-” Bee sighed, “I’m worried about the future.”
“Completely unlike you” Breakdown joked, somewhat nervously.
“Someday, sooner than I’ll be ready for, I’ll have finished this assignment.” He pulled his knees up to his chassis. “Not from the Terrans having learned enough, but from me running out of things to teach them.” He rested his chin on his knees, “And I know I’ll be going right back into hiding.”
Breakdown stared, brows creased.
“I can’t do it again.” His servos clasped at the back of his neck, pressing his forehelm onto his knees. “I can’t take another 15 years of isolation.”
“Then-” Breakdown hesitated, “What will you do?”
Bumblebee’s gaze hardened.
“I’m the best you know” He smirked, hiding his worry.
“If I ever have to go back into hiding long term…
Breakdown’s intake dropped.
“What?” He stood. “Bee, you can’t do that!”
“No Breakdown!” Bee also got to his pedes, doorwings sticking out stiffly like he was squaring up to the taller bot, “I can’t live like that again. I don’t know if you’ve ever had to go over a dozen solar cycles without so much as a phone call from another living being, but it’s not easy!”
The stare-down continued.
“Surely there’s an easier way to tell your boss what you want”
“That’s just it! I don’t get to make that decision.” He gestured to himself, “I’ve never gotten to decide what Iwant to do with my life. There’s never been a choice for me. If I don’t make the decision to do it, I’ll never get the chance to pick anything about my life.”
The air felt thick in Breakdown’s intake.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.”
“I’m not asking you to help me” Bee still wouldn’t look at him, “I just need you to not tell anyone.”
“Why did you tell me then?”
“I’m sorry if this is too much to put on you, but I just needed to talk to someone about it.”
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