Oh Ms Believer

alayna

[theocseason4]

genie: you have 3 wishes what’s will be the first

me: i wish for jenna marbles’ dogs to be immortal

genie: that’s a pretty cool wish  you still have 3 that one was on me

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i hate that post that’s like “what you named your stuffed animal as a kid is a personality test” cause the only notably named “stuffed animal” i had as a kid was one of those wretched baby dolls w hard plastic head feet and hands and a soft fabric body and i kept him fully nude at all times and often hurled him across the room just to hear the plastic THOCK against linoleum and his name was Bigfoot Larry so whatever that says about me i don’t wanna know

[striders]

catch me in target lusting after kitchenware like a 45 year old mother of three

[avpdnoisearchive]

unstoppable force (my compulsive need to overshare) vs. immovable object (my paranoia that saying anything will cause everyone to hate me) 

[leslieknope2k44]

[daevite]

me: god i love paranormal shit and urban legends

me, after indulging in aforementioned content:

[odetojoseph]

forensic files narrator: ... and he left his finger prints on the door knob...

me eating my 5th mozzarella stick: you absolute fucking idiot

[iloveyeri-remade]

me after watching a full 20 minute buzzfeed unsolved video and ryan says the mystery will always remain…………………unsolved

[frogmp3]

[yoonswife]

no offense but im ugly and have a crush on you

[strongbowdarkfruit]

stop global warming i don’t look good in shorts

[essica]

please do not make jokes about my weight. it doesn’t matter if you’re just kidding. i honestly do not like my body and hearing others joke about it does not make my situation any better.