tell the wolves i'm home

NOX; dana voigt, twenty-nine, house ravenclaw alumni. arithmancy professor at hogwarts.

[books-n-quotes]

Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers

[phoebes]

[clairetvmples-deactivated201901]

“Tell me, father, which to ask forgiveness for: what I am, or what I’m not? Tell me, mother, which should I regret: what I became, or what I didn’t?”

— thoughts of a stray iii | m.a.w (via dvoyd)

[jonahsimms]

a mood

[ghostsandgoblins]

[itsallyouhavegotinsideyourhead]

[ofarithmancy-blog]

loulongfxllow‌:

It had been a long day. As much as he loved his first years, their enthusiasm and awe and how magic was still magical to them, they were fucking exhausting to teach. In the space of three hours, he had dealt with two explosions and the creation of some kind of viscous glop that ate through the bottom of Marie Golding’s cauldron. (Points for creativity, loss of points for the ensuing clean up and smell of rubber that wouldn’t leave his classroom.) Still, seeing their little vials of Forgetfulness Potion lined up neatly on his desk was pretty fucking cool. It made the weird smells and ruined cauldrons and near heart-attacks worth it. 

He was just about to begin grading his 4th year’s essays (discuss the uses of mandrake– always a fun read) when a knock on the door stopped him. 

“Professor Voigt! Just the excuse I needed to put of my grading,” he said with a grin, waving her in. When he heard her reasons, however, his smile faded. 

“That’s a serious allegation,” Lou remarked, taking the vial from her. It was always a shame when students used their skills to cut corners. He saw the study groups she helped form and the fact that her office door was open to students needing help hadn’t escaped his notice. “Judging by the color, I’d say it was a memory potion as well. If she bought it, however, there’s a chance it could be a dupe,” he continued, swishing the mixture around a bit. “Unfortunately, the intent was present, whether or not this is a legitimate potion.”

   professor loulongfellow was surprisingly delighted to see her, so she didn't feel too bad about distracting him from his work   ( though he didn't seem to mind that whatsoever ). she closed the door behind her when she entered his office; no need to give any nosy students a chance to listen in on their conversation.

   " it is. and not one i make lightly. "   she said with a heavy sigh, betraying how little she liked having to consider an accurate punishment.   " i didn't allow her to take the test with the others and told her we'd talk about this later. usually i'd throw the student out of my class for something like this but lucy is a seventh year in my advanced arithmancy class and she's working hard to keep up her grades, so i suspect she needs a certain arithmancy grade for her future career. "   dana wasn't known for light punishments but she wasn't a dictator in the classroom either. she had a heart too and if her student's career might depend on it, then it was vital to make the right decision.

   on one hand, lucy well deserved the same punishment as everyone else who made such an attempt at cheating in her class - but then again she really seemed to need the grade   ( no one took advanced arithmancy in their seventh year for fun ).

[ofarithmancy-blog]

flwrhrts‌:

tobias flinches a bit at the sarcasm, but says nothing further, instead refocusing on the topic of the new school year and the question she posed. “not yet. i got a seventh year girl who hit on me, though.” he says, wrinkling his nose and laughing, “i think she just wanted a better grade though.” he chuckled. tobias tucks his hands together in his long sweater sleeves. “it’s getting chilly.”

  students hitting on their professors   ( for whatever reason )   had definitely been a part of her teaching career that had taken dana a while to get used to. but now, after three years of teaching and starting her fourth, it was simply an amusing occurrence, if odd that students thought they’d get away with it.   “ let’s hope so. “   she said with an understanding smile, thinking it’d definitely be the better option. because if tobias student had a crush on him.. well, students with crushed went a long way to get what they wanted. and it might serve to get tobias into serious trouble.   “ during my first year of teaching, when my students found out that i’m gay it was almost impossible to continue with the lessons for a while. suddenly all my female students seemed to think they could easily get a better grade by flirting with me. “   dana laughed at the memory, shaking her head at the many awkward lessons that followed once she’d spoken up about the subject during her advanced arithmancy class.

  tobias was right - the higher up they got on the stairwell of the astronomy tower, the colder it got. she too huddled deeper into her sweater.   “ winter is just around the corner. “   dana always yearned for winter. it had been her favorite season   ( even if it meant she couldn’t ride her bike around )   even before she came to hogwarts but especially so now. winter wasn’t as pretty anywhere else.   “ it’s my favorite season. what about you ? “

[humorblr]

[ofarithmancy-blog]

@loulongfxllow

   dana knocked on the door to the potions’ professor’s office with a small vial in hand. she was still clothed in the dark robes she wore for teaching since the last classes of the day   ( and with it her advanced arithmancy class )   had just ended half an hour ago. normally she wouldn’t disturb a colleague so soon after their long day but this matter was rather urgent.

   “ professor longfellow, do you have a minute ? “   she asked once the professor had opened his door.   “ i found one of my students with this, she was about to drink it before a test. i suspect that it’s a memory potion but i wanted to make sure. “   dana was actually pretty sure that it was something along those lines. the student she’d found the potion on was a ravenclaw and not a stupid one; dana had told her as much. why she’d decided to invest her time into making this potion, the arithmancy professor couldn’t fathom. the time she’d spend on that could’ve just as well been used to study for the test she’d been about to take.

[leia-organa]

[ofarithmancy-blog]

collopvrtus‌:

“well that seems frankly obvious, with the direction we’re both headed.” alexis chuckled with raised eyebrows – it was fun, teasing dana like this, teasing dana in general,  especially since she thought none of the staff knew of her mid-night cigarettes, with that scent of menthol following her around all over the place. “i was also heading to the astronomy tower. i am under the assumption we’re headed there for the same reason?”

she’d felt so cramped in her own chambers. like the walls had started caving in. like any moment her mother would appear out of her fireplace, asking for an explanation as to why her only daughter wasn’t being the rosier prodigy she had always meant to be. why didn’t caspian have to go through this bullshit? well. the answers laid either at the end of a pack of cigarettes, or the bottom of a bottle of ogden’s finest.

“well of course, professor. i wouldn’t dare turn down your invitation.” she laughed again as she started climbing up the stairs to the top of the tower. “you know, smoking with company is pretty neat, as well.”

  " true. "   dana amended with a laugh, inclining her head to show that she well she'd been caught. honestly, she'd kind of been lying to herself whenever she pretended that her smoking was a secret - at least among the staff. she did genuinely hope her students didn't know. no need for them to know about her bad habits.   " it seems so. "   well, at least she wouldn't be alone with her bad habits tonight. if she'd known she'd find alexis here, she might've smuggled a bottle of firewhiskey along. not that they didn't drink enough together already.

  " that sounded sarcastic but i'll pretend i didn't hear it. "   dana said with a smirk and followed her colleague up the stairs.   " we already drink together, alexis. now we smoke together - what's next ? "   she hadn't exactly planned for the question to sound as flirty as it did but dana wasn't about to take it back. alexis was fun to be around and they were on the same wavelength - there'd already been plenty of drunk flirting between them   ( or, well, at least from dana ).

   pushing those drunken nights out of her mind, her thoughts wandered.   “ one of these days our students are going to find out about our bets on them, you know ?  by the way, we’re doing that again this year, right ? “   to be honest, the prank-wars had been a light during dana’s drab days more than once and she’d hate for that to end. and betting over her students for drinks with alexis was a great way to not spend her whole salary on alcohol   ( as long as her advanced arithmancy class bested professor rosier’s transfiguration class ).

[ofarithmancy-blog]

@bombardc​

   dana certainly had some choice words for those kids once they found them. of course she hoped they were well and unharmed but that didn’t mean they didn’t deserve at least a good scolding for what they’d done.

   hogwarts was a good place to get drunk and test our your limits   ( if you stayed in the safety of your chambers and common room, that is )   and dana would rather have the students try it out here than anywhere else but to drunkenly wander around, in a castle that was known to house a couple of secrets, and with a dangerous forest nearby ?  that was more than foolish. it was genuinely idiotic.

   one of the missing students was a ravenclaw in her advanced arithmancy class, and she was already mulling over the punishment she’d give him for his stupidity when she arrived at the headmistress’ office to start searching for the lost kids with her.   “ what a way to start the school year. “   dana sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.   “ i’m sure they’re alright but they better have learned their lesson by the time we find them. “

[ofarithmancy-blog]

collopvrtus‌:

the night had fallen into a silent chaos with alexis’ latest letter from her mother, asking when she’d marry any of her suitors, of if she would be settling down any time soon, or if she would give her any grandchildren, or if she’d redeem their name by keeping their heads held up high and their blood pure. nothing she hadn’t seen, read, or thought of before, but that didn’t meant it got easier with every letter – just more frustrating, especially with atlas’ lonesome figure flying over the ceiling at night, the only letter of the hour dropping into alexis’ hands. she’d never liked curious eyes, asking unsaid questions – and that had taken all her motivation to grade and read with itself, so the options were: smoking until her lungs couldn’t take more up the astronomy tower, or drinking until her liver couldn’t take more in her chambers.

it was a beautiful night. the tower had won.

what she hadn’t expected was to quite literally walk into professor voigt, almost ending up on the floor the moment she did. “oh – fuck –” she gathered herself with a curse under her breath, leaning against the solid wall. “i’m fine – you’re quite the surprise, dana.” she laughed as she shook her head, leaning against the wall to give dana some space. “what are you doing here at this hour?”

    well, alexis certainly hadn't been who dana had expected to run into but she was glad it was her colleague and not one of those snooping prefects.   " i didn't expect to see you here either, alexis. "   she countered with a smile and a shrug.   " i'm heading to the astronomy tower. "   dana nodded towards the staircase leading up the tower and shook her pack of menthol cigarettes.   “ what about you ? “

   whilst dana usually preferred to smoke her cigarettes alone, tonight was different. some old memories had come to haunt her again and she knew that if she spent too much time in the astronomy tower alone, she'd just end up going back to her quarters to drink one of the bottles of firewhiskey she had stashed there. and the only thing worse than a firewhiskey-hangover was knowing you'd finished that bottle alone.

   so it only came as half a surprise to herself when she thought about asking alexis to join her   ( though with them both headed towards the stairwell she might not have had a choice either way ).   " want to join me ? "

[ruinedchildhood]

[ofarithmancy-blog]

10, 11, 12, 13, 14 (original i Know)

RANDOM QUESTIONS FOR CHARACTER BUILDING

10. greatest regret ?

  “ letting my relationship with my mother waste away. we haven’t talked in ages, i don’t even know if she’s still alive, if she ever got better. but a part of me still resents her what she did to me, and i can’t ever fully forgive her for that. but she wasn’t herself when she did those things, that was the pills and the alcohol, for the most part. “

11. biggest lie ?

  “ telling those around me and myself that i was straight for years. i knew i liked girls since i was nine but i only came out when i was fifteen because i was afraid my friends would abandon me if they found out.   they didn’t, and i’ve felt better than ever since i started living my life as who i really am. “

12. biggest flaw ?

  “ i’m lazy, and i don’t commit to anything. i don’t think i’ll ever finish my thesis at this point, and i haven’t let anyone in in years. “

13. best accomplishment ?

  “ helping kids who are struggling with the same things i did. i’m not a great teacher but i think i’ve connected with some of my students on a level i never expected. sometimes students come to my office to ask about personal problems, like how to come out or how to deal with their problematic families, and none of those questions are easy to answer but i always do my best.   it’s one of the few things i’m proud of. “

14. greatest fear(s) ?

  “ i don’t ever want to end up like my mother, just a shell of myself and only functioning while drugged.   and i’m afraid of ending up alone, a disappointment to those who once believed in me. i know i’m not a great friend most of the time and i’ve got serious issues i need to resolve.  my friends have been much more patient and good to me than i deserve, and i’m afraid that one day they’ll just decide that they’ve had enough and leave for good. “

[ofarithmancy-blog]

flwrhrts‌:

“those will kill you.” tobias points out. he knew his mtoher had smoked – his grandmother had never wasted a chance to lament how awful her child had turned out. he himself couldn’t stand the smell, but the idea of going up to the astronomy tower is appealing, and he nods. “i was just walking.” he admits, and waits for her to start moving again, “is the school year going well for you?”

  “ oh, really ?  i thought it was healthy, like eating my greens. “   dana said sarcastically. it wasn’t too often but sometimes people still felt the need to state the obvious. she was a grown woman, of course she knew that she was playing with the devil whenever she smoked. but she was well aware that no one was free of their vices. just because hers was a little more obvious didn’t mean she was a worse person for it.

  “ so far, yes. it’s only just started. “   she said with a shrug, and started walking towards the astronomy tower.   “ what about you ?  got any troublesome new students this year ? “