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At the temple of the ancients

I need everyone to stop what they’re doing and look at this:

This is the gift I received in the 2019 FF7 Fanworks Exchange, created by the magnificent and inimitable @the–calamity. Any words I might add would simply be so much clutter around its perfection. Isn’t it beautiful? It makes my heart hurt.

spctlessminds

based on this suggestions blog. warning: these are pretty dark/angry & could be triggering to some people. please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘ all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly & me to not flinch away without meaning to. when will this stop affecting me? ’ ‘ all i want is to be soft & gentle, but i’m made out of steel & anger. maybe in another life, i guess. ’ ‘ beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so choose to see beauty in everything. ’ ‘ burning it all to the ground & force them to start again. they made you lose everything. now return the favor. ’ ‘ do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own? ’ ‘ do you trust me enough? do you trust me at all? ’ ‘ don’t you dare abandon me. ’ ‘ even after all you have done, i will always want you fighting on my side. ’ ‘ every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again. ’ ‘ everyone i have ever loved is long gone. i sing to the sky alone. ’ ‘ everyone i touch gets hurt, but i can’t stop. i touch & i touch & i touch & people get hurt. why can’t i ever stop? ’ ‘ everyone says i used to be a hero, but i can still taste the blood in my mouth & still feel bruises blooming because of my fists & my eyes are still stretched wide & terrified. ’ ‘ everything i love has been taken from me. what do i have left to fight for? ’ ‘ fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong. ’ ‘ friends are more important than any material object will ever be. ’ ‘ i am aching to hold you & keep you safe, to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you. ’ ‘ i am divine & you will bow before me. ’ ‘ i am fucking divine. ’ ‘ i am in control & i listen to no one. ’ ‘ i am not a good person. don’t pretend i am. ’ ‘ i am not accustomed to love. this is a learning experience. ’ ‘ i am not worth saving & i am not worth redemption. let me stay in the dark. ’ ‘ i am so tired all the time, all i want to do is rest. ’ ‘ i am too tired to deal with any of this. ’ ‘ i bow to no man. ’ ‘ i broke into sharp pieces when i broke & i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together. i’m sorry. ’ ‘ i can give you your wings back & i can show you to fly once more, if you only believe in me. ’ ‘ i cannot be saved. ’ ‘ i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people. i can bear this weight on my own. i have to. ’ ‘ i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you, but i loved you too much to notice. ’ ‘ i crave affection in the simplest way. ’ ‘ i deserve to hurt. i deserve to bleed. ’ ‘ i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me. ’ ‘ i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer, as long as it leaves your lips. ’ ‘ i don’t fight for you anymore. ’ ‘ i don’t want to let go of you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to remember. i don’t want to heal. all i want is for it to go away. ’ ‘ i don’t want you to touch me. please don’t touch me, just go away. ’ ‘ i feel anger deeper than my bones. i feel anger in my very soul. ’ ‘ i feel nothing at all, except for when i feel everything all at once. ’ ‘ i have fallen & though i may miss the sky, i belong here now. ’ ‘ i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine. ’ ‘ i have no home anymore. ’ ‘ i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand & then i remember nothing. ’ ‘ i see beauty in everything, but especially in you. ’ ‘ i should never have fallen in love with you. ’ ‘ i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me. now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away. ’ ‘ i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe. ’ ‘ i will never amount to anything. i am a failure in the worst type of way. ’ ‘ i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me & maybe someday it will be true. ’ ‘ if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore. ’ ‘ if you ask me to, i will set the whole world on fire, my dear. it’s all for you. ’ ‘ is it my fault? it’s my fault. it’s always my fault. ’ ‘ it’s not murder if they deserved it, right? ’ ‘ i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me, choking on anger & suffocating on sadness. ’ ‘ i’m in love with everything that hurts me. ’ ‘ i’m okay. i’m alright. this is all in my mind. ’ ‘ i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me. ’ ‘ i’m so cold & i can’t stop shaking. i am not who you think i am. ’ ‘ i’m so tired all the time & i just want to be awake again. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten. i just want someone to remember me. ’ ‘ i’m tired of fighting everything in my life. just make it stop. ’ ‘ i’m too tired to care. blow up, get angry at me. i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it. ’ ‘ jealousy burns within me. ’ ‘ just let me go in peace for once in my damn life. ’ ‘ loneliness is a disease & it leaves me empty & hollow, like sound goes through my body & bounces back. ’ ‘ made of starlight & sunshine, i shine brighter than they all know. ’ ‘ my anger is righteous & my actions are pure. ’ ‘ my chest aches & my lungs burn. this sickness comes from the inside. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & all i need is some comfort & understanding. ’ ‘ my chest hurts & i ache to go back to the sky. ’ ‘ my shoulders are aching where wings used to be & all i want is for them to stop hurting. ’ ‘ pull me apart & piece me together in your own way. make me perfect. ’ ‘ righteous fury throws through my veins & if you touch the people i love i will destroy you. ’ ‘ rise up. you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more. ’ ‘ say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue. ’ ‘ so much blood has been spilled in my name. time to make you believe it was in yours. ’ ‘ so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent, but not when i scream & plead for help? fuck off. ’ ‘ sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want. ’ ‘ stay away from my fucking friends. stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you. ’ ‘ stop treating me like i’m an idiot. you aren’t better than me in any way & you better remember that. ’ ‘ the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue. ’ ‘ the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it. ’ ‘ to love them is my divine right. ’ ‘ voices whisper from the shadows & they fill my mind with thoughts of you. ’ ‘ what did i to wrong to be so unloved? ’ ‘ what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it? ’ ‘ who the fuck do you think you are? ’ ‘ why can’t i ever fucking stop crying? ’ ‘ with a new year comes new tests & triumphs. let’s try to make the most out of it. ’ ‘ would it really kill you to be honest for once? ’ ‘ yes, i remember my wings breaking & being destroyed. i was powerless to stop it. ’ ‘ you are not required to love your parents, or to even like them. ’ ‘ you can’t hate me more than i hate myself, but you are more than welcome to try. ’ ‘ you may say you love me, but you love only a part of me. i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being. ’ ‘ you never fucking cared about me. don’t fucking lie about it. not to me. ’ ‘ you remind me of mint. fresh, sharp, kind of cold, but in a nice way. i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite. ’ ‘ you shine light in even the darkest parts of me. you are my sun. ’ ‘ you should fear me, but you don’t. i will be eternally puzzled, yet grateful. ’ ‘ you touch me & my skin burns & it burns for you, always you. ’

I actually remembered the login for this account wow.

#[When was the last time I logged in or posted anything??]#[Years.]#[Idk seeing stuff about FF in my FB feed made me miss this boy.]#[Hit that heart for a starter maybe?]

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