Off Topic

MDNI. 18+ Level 27 Request are open

[off-the-records-now]

in-between fic ideas For The Originals/TVD....

Klaus meeting another Alpha! Reader slight smut?

mPreg Elijah and Reader baby names?

Damon and Stefan "Sharing" reader smut

Fluffy Klaus taking care of Pregnant Femreader?

Kol and Davina adopt you as their own?

Elijah/Klaus/Kol situationship? possible smut

Reader making Elijah jealous?

Remaining time: 1 day 11 hours

[off-the-records-now]

Dating Kol Mikaelson x Fem Reader Headcanons Spicy Edition

CW: Spicy stuff, blood play, controlling, a bit yandere ECT

Intense make out sessions whenever he can. Not just his tongue in your mouth. He's got to grope up your body and press his body to yours. He has to grind his body into you.

Mirror kink. Definitely makes you watch through a mirror to see how he's taking you. Watching every reaction caused by him through that mirror to know exactly how to send you over the edge.

Blood play mildy or intensely. Out in public he may give you a little prick on your neck. A little excuse to lick up your neck. At home when it's just you two, he lets it drip down your chest so he can lick it off your tits.

Occasionally takes your panties with or without your knowledge. Intentionally cums in it before replacing.

Teases you in public and acts oblivious to how it's making you feel. It could be a light tap on the rear to him tracing his fingers up your sides, slightly lifting your shirt.

Coaching you through it. "That's it darling, hold it a bit longer." Followed by "You're being such a good obedient girl."

Likes to leave hickeys along your chest traveling down your stomach. Some visible but most covered. Just some nice red and blue kisses and nibbles down your chest. For "aesthetic"

Bros the type to fall dead silent after flustering you just to watch you fumble your words to tell him what you need. All with a sly smirk mere inches from you.

Whenever someone comments on how hot you are it makes him instantly jealous. Sometimes will pick a fight just to have a reason to bang you hard against the wall to "fix" the problem.

Boy is a professional eater. Will eat you breakfast,lunch and dinner with a snack in-between. Gets off on the idea of you becoming an overstimulated mess begging to either cum or take a break.

Likes to use your hair for control. Nothing too harsh to actually hurt you but enough of a tug to make you look up while he's taking you.

Occasionally makes you top him so he can play with your tits, biting sucking, groping.

Turns playtime into a game. "Let's see how many times I can get you off love. You count for me."

Literally be calling it "Playtime"

Doesn't really mind lace or leather but prefers you in his shirt and nothing else.

Picks you up and uses you as his personal toy.

Bothers you by intentionally walking around the bedroom in his towel post shower for way longer than needed. Just a lil peep show. When you try to say something you're met with "What I was just getting ready. Do you mind helping?

Low growls in your ear. Nothing too primal but enough to let you know how good you make him feel.

Who's next?

[welcometothejianghu]

Small Fandom Summer 2026!

For the fourth year in a row now, it's time for Small Fandom Summer! Join me for Small Fandom Summer! It's real easy to play:

Make a fanwork for something that has fewer than 1000 English-language works on AO3

Post it to AO3

And then you've done it! You've made a thing and you've diversified the fandom ecosystem! You're basically a hero.

Q: The fandom I want to create for has more than 1000 English-language works on AO3, but the specific pairing I want to write for has fewer than that. Does that count? A: Yes! Q: What if it has more than 1000 English-language works on AO3, but, like, just barely? A: Okay! Q: What if it actually has a lot more than 1000 English-language works on AO3, but it still feels small? A: Sure! Q: What if I don't want to post it to AO3? What if I don't even have an AO3 account? Can I post it somewhere else? A: Wherever! Q: What if-- A: Just do a thing, friend. Make a thing. Share the thing. This is not meant to be restrictive; this is meant to be inspirational. Create the fanworks you want to see in the world. Make a stranger happy by appealing to their niche interests. Bring joy.

And if you want to give yourself some silly little Steam-like achievement badges to commemorate your accomplishments, well, you're in luck! I've made a bunch of them right here! You can grab the ones that apply to your work and paste them wherever you like and feel good about what you've done. Here's a few of my favorites:

So you see? This is meant to be silly and fun.

There's nowhere to sign up. There's nothing to commit to. There's zero pressure. You just do it if you do it, and don't if you don't. But if you do want to play (yay!), tag your stuff with #small fandom summer so we can all swoop in and appreciate everyone else's efforts.

Here's to creativity!

[off-the-records-now]

Ohhh I love a challenge

[off-the-records-now]

Rereading the fics I wrote 7 years ago and immediately cringed.....why are they better than the ones I have now. 🙃

[off-the-records-now]

What’re your headcannons for a yandere!Kol with a reader who genuinely loves him?

Yandere! Kol Mikaelson x Reader who actually loves them Headcanons

He's not just possessive of you. He's obsessed. Anything you like he likes too. He's constantly hovering to anticipate your next move. Any sudden change in your mood and he's there to fix it.

He cools his anger around you but sometimes blows his top off if someone pushes him over the edge. You give him grace for trying but it was kind of scary. Immediately feels guilty for scaring you.

You really like the possessive PDA he does. The arm around your shoulder, holding your hand tight, or needing to be right near you. He's not afraid to just make out with you right then and there to prove a point.

Needs constant reassurance that you actually want to be around him, despite the fact that you are almost just as obsessed with him as he is with you. " It's okay to love me, please. Love, me." In a nearly begging voice. He wouldn't break that easily but he's desperate for you.

Eats up every praise that you give him. Genuinely expects you to praise him daily by telling him how beautiful and handsome he is. He returns the favor by telling you how much he adores you.

Secretly bought your apartment or house so that he could walk through it when you are not home without having to be invited in. You're completely aware of it. But pretend to be oblivious when things "mysteriously" vanish.

Whenever he wants you out of a situation or a room where people are a little too close to you. Will not hesitate to throw you over his shoulder and promptly leave the scene.

Gets a bit grumpy when you stop affections to go do something. Pulling away after cuddling or dropping his hand to go look at something while in town. It's like a personal blight your oblivious to until you see him start to pout and fidget. Kol ends up tugging you closer to him as he grumbles about you being too far.

Gets incredibly jealous when other "attractive "people are around you. You call them friends and he calls them threats. He makes it a point to make everyone aware that you're with him by laying it on thick and calling you his darling.

Has mapped out your schedule and personality to a T. He knows when you wake up to when you get ready for bed. Skincare routine. Knows all your favorite restaurants/coffee shops/retail stores. Where to get materials for your latest hobbies. That one place from your childhood that he randomly books a trip to. It's endearing and terrifying when you figure it out.

Teasing him constantly for being jealous or moody. "Darling, they aren't half of what I am " as you praise him for being a "good boy" for not killing that one guy that looked at you too long.

When you showed up to his house with a small trinket of affection for his birthday he nearly broke his bad boy act. Not many people cared to give him gifts besides occasionally his family. He cherishes it along with the other items he's taken from you as his keepsakes.

[off-the-records-now]

More of my fav gifs😍

All absolute masterpieces

[off-the-records-now]

He was too gorgeous!

I don't know what it is but supernatural men with bad tempers always get me.

[off-the-records-now]

Hi! So question. I was wondering if you could a goth reader x Elijah Mikaelson. Im goth and like theres nothing out there for goth Elijah lovers that I have found! It can be whatever else you want it to be i just yearn for Elijah and a goth reader fic!

Blood in the Water

Elijah Mikaelson x Goth Witch Reader GN Chapter 1

CW: Mentions of blood, established relationship, mind control, cursed object, gender neutral.

Blurb: A new war is brewing among the species and a resolution needs to be made before everything boils over. Elijah tries to settle the dispute discreetly with your help. He offers a new talisman with power greater than the dark arts to appease the witches, all should be well until the relic chooses a new owner with heightened powers and sanity wavering.

Authors note: I hope to make this a multi chapter fic but will still take request if you want to add ideas to he plot.

Word Count: 1.5k

A sly smirk etched the corners of your mouth as you stood outside the house. Its eeriness didn't bother you much as the knob to the front door turned with ease, heavy leather boots echoing in the almost near empty kitchen. Klaus stood near the fridge, pulling out the crimson pouch as he turned to look at you.

"Can't be bothered to be invited in?" Klaus piped, his brows furrowed as he ripped the seal to a blood bag.

"I have a standing invitation granted by the noble Elijah, blood sucker." You said. Each word sounding like a taunt. Your hand glided across the kitchen bar while Klaus scanned you head to toe with an arched brow. The leather boots that trailed to the black pair of pants and shirt that ironically had a fanged teeth print on the front of it. Silver rings on each finger, some containing protection stones,some just purely silver.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." You spoke, catching Klaus's gaze when he finally met yours. Your eyes lined with pitch black liner as you held his stare. A half snort left him, drawing in another long swig from the blood bag.

"Elijah y-." Klaus began to say but before he could finish Elijah made his way to the kitchen with his vamp speed. Impeccably dressed in a dark suit, nearly matching the shade you wore.

"Hello darling, sorry to keep you waiting." He apologized, slipping his hand around your waist before planting a kiss on your temple. Earning the gesture an exaggerated eye roll from Klaus. He made his way out of the kitchen, mumbling about finishing his next piece.

Elijah let out a long breath before his lips curved into a subtle smile.

"You asked me to get you cursed relics and I did. It wasn't very easy to say the least. Took me a couple weeks." You spoke partially distracted as you rummaged through the satchel sat at your hip. The witches had been rampant once more with a thirst of having more power. Marcel did his best with his legion of vampires to tame them while Klaus played a psycho killer with the wolves. Which left you somewhere in the middle to help Elijah with some sort of resolution. With spare intel and draining location spells you were able to find the talisman. A new relic used to heighten the ability of witches at the cost of their sanity.

You pulled the necklace out from the satchel to give to him. His eyes immediately fixated on the pendant as he carefully took it.

"What would I do without you, my darling?" His smile etched the corners of his mouth as his eyes diverted to you. He put the necklace in his pocket before pulling you closer, his lips nearly pressing against yours. His eyes locked onto yours waiting for you to give him any sign of permission to go further. When your lips firmly pressed against his, is when he finally seems to relax and melt into the kiss. A soft moan left his lips as he went deeper into the kiss, his arms wrapping tighter around you. Steadily you pulled away, making some space between you, the blush creeping from your neck.

"Right Talisman, high power witch?, treaty?" You spoke in succession as if they were temporary adjustments to the plan. He smirked before nodding his head.

"Yes to all of that. Hopefully this." He said reaching back to his pocket to show the silver chain with a carnelian gemstone on the pendant. The location spell you used felt off from the beginning. Most of the time you only see where they are but this time it took you like compulsion.There were no clues on how you ended up in the cave with a red gem shimmering into your eyes. The pull it had was almost sickening but captivating as you stared at it, trying to remember the sequence of events leading to its discovery. Nothing came to mind after uttering the incantation that located it in the first place. Elijah slowly let it coil around his fingers as he focused on you. His hand delicately trailed up your arm in that reassuring but concerned Elijah did so well. He cautiously placed it in his coat pocket.

"You alright Dear?, Should we pay the witches quarter a visit?" His voice gentle with subtle hints of concern as his hand moved from your arm to cup your cheek. Elijah hooked a finger under your chin to look up at him to truly assess if you were ok.

"Yes, we should." Hesitancy in your voice. Not at visiting the witches but truly knowing if everything was ok. He noted the small changes in your voices, the way you tensed up at the sight of the necklace.

Small images of the cave flashed in your mind as you walked alongside Elijah. The glimmering red, the echoes from the cave walls that sounded like voices you once knew. Nothing seemed to make sense. Not even when you walked backed into town with the passage of time feeling nonexistent. Elijah’s hand brushed against yours making you pull your hand back. As perceptive Elijah was, you had hoped he didn’t see how lost in thought you were.

“Are sure you're okay?” He asked, knowing the lie that was to follow. Your body tensed once more as you tried to shake the chill up your spine.

“Yes, my love. I’m fine.” Your voice is much more cool and collected than before. His brown eyes lingered on you a moment too long, clocking the shift you both felt.

“I didn’t get a chance to say how nice you looked today. I quite like the attire you chose today.” He spoke smoothly as if he eased the unknown worry or tension. His hand hooked yours more firmly, giving a tight squeeze.

“Thanks, I debated adding red for a pop of color.” You mentioned, nudging him. He squeezed your hand gently again causing your shoulders to relax. No amount of comfort was reassuring in the witch's quarter. None of these witches cared for your practice of witchcraft, often calling it too eclectic and chaotic to be any real magic. Not that their practice wasn’t any better.

“Welcome to the cult.” You muttered. Elijah let out a soft snort before shushing you.

“They could hear you.” he reminded, pulling your hand up to kiss it. A thought flickered across your mind if you should really just repeat it just a bit louder for them. Elijah entered the gates, your hand loosely in his as elders stood outside talking amongst themselves as if they were anticipating his arrival.

“You actually showed up.” One quipped, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Man of my word.” he rebutted, pulling out the necklace and a written document in preparation for the treaty. All they wanted was this talisman. They needed to be protected from the evil forces that lurked in the unknown. Even though you know the only evil forces at work remained in this quarter you let them have it. Elijah pulled out a dagger and pen to sign the document to bind them in blood for the treaty and the exchange of the talisman. He slid the talisman across the oak table that laid out the contract. One of the elders slit her hand to gather the blood as ink. When the pen touched the document a wave of silence occupied your ears. An eerie and unsettling stillness like the shore pulling before a hurricane. The echoes. The echoes that bounced off the cave walls were here but still just as vague, just louder. Each muscle in your body began to tighten as you swallowed thickly. Elijah felt the shift once more,his hand reaching for you. The echoes grew louder as the carnelian pendant began to glow.

“Do you not see that?” You questioned everyone who now set their focus on you. Sweat beaded your forehead. The color slowly drained from your face. Elijah strove to remain calm but his concern only grew as your body shivered when the chills returned to your spine. Dark clouds began to form above as low rumbles of thunder rolled in the distance.The pendant still flashed the red hue that no one seemed to see but you. With another harsh swallow, you attempted to brace yourself on the wooden oak table. The witches now looked at you as if you were bringing the hells to them, each of them slowly backing away except for one who reached for the necklace. Her hand lurched forward but was met with a searing pain from the silver chain that grew hot as embers. The witch yelped with pain as her hand quickly retreated back, clinging it to her chest. The necklace moved from the witches, nearly burning into the table.

The weight seemed crushing as you stumbled slightly causing Elijah to hold onto you, his calmness replaced with uncertainty. The necklace slid across the table latching itself to your wrist with the hot pendant pressed against the inside of your wrist. Yet it didn’t burn but felt cooling to your skin as it fastened into a bracelet. Only then did the unease lessen. The pink returned to your face as your breathing became less laborious. The echoes softened into a low whisper that made you question your sanity. The sky had miraculously cleared which only added to your confusion.

“Theyre cursed.” The elder sputtered.

[off-the-records-now]

I loveee the Mikaelsons!

I love them all so much!! It would be such a messed up family dynamic but at least you'll know it's never boring and you always have someone to watch your back. ❤️❤️

[wonderful-rp-resources]

Go into my inbox and tell me a situation you’d love to see my Muse go through.

Specify which muse for multimuse blogs.

Curious how my muse would handle heartbreak? Want an open where my Muse is irrationally upset or in danger? Toss all the ideas at me! I might get inspired!

[mudskip-memes]

Send "💬" for the mun to talk about whatever is on their mind!

(Bonus if you add a topic or question you want them to talk about!)

[questions-about-blorbos]

Reblog if it’s okay for people to inbox you questions, headcanon, theories, anything about your Blorbo

[discocritic]

for every "🌹" received in my inbox i'll post one random sentence of a random WIP i'm currently writing

[gmikaelson]

Anatomy | K.M

One shot | Established Relationship | Smutish | Masterlist | WC: 3.7K

Summary: Studying anatomy is hard…luckily Klaus's extensive knowldege makes for an enticing study method

· · ─────────── ·· ────────── · · The anatomy textbook lay open on the bed, pages covered in Y/N's frustrated notes. She'd been at this for three hours trying to memorize the placement of organs and the names of bones and even the way everything connected in the human body. Keywords: Trying.

"I give up," she groaned, flopping backward onto the pillows. "The radius and the ulna are the same thing. Bones are stupid. Who needs this many bones?"

Klaus looked up from his easel where he'd been working on a landscape, a smirk playing at his lips. "You do realize you're saying this to someone who's broken most of those bones in other people, love. I could probably draw you a detailed anatomical chart from memory."

Y/N sat up, eyeing him suspiciously. "Are you seriously telling me that your extensive knowledge of torture has made you an anatomy expert?"

"A millennium of creative violence does provide certain educational benefits." He set down his brush, wiping his hands on a rag as he crossed to the bed. "What specifically is giving you trouble?"

She gestured helplessly at the textbook. "All of it? The bones in the arm. Where the liver actually sits. How the ribcage protects things. It's all just...words on a page. I can't visualize it."

Klaus picked up the textbook, scanning the pages. Then he set it aside and reached for her hand. "Then let's make it more interesting, shall we?" His voice dropped lower, taking on that dangerous edge that always made her pulse quicken. "Close your eyes."

"Klaus..."

"Trust me, sweetheart. This is educational."

She closed her eyes, feeling the bed shift as he moved behind her. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, thumb pressing against her pulse point.

"The radial artery," he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. "Right here. Can you feel your heartbeat under my thumb?"

She could. Her heart was doing complicated things that had nothing to do with anatomy and everything to do with his proximity. His fingers traced up her forearm, pressing gently.

"The radius bone runs here, along the thumb side of your forearm. And just beside it..." His other hand traced a parallel line. "The ulna. Two bones working together to let you rotate your wrist. Like this."

He demonstrated by turning her hand palm-up, then palm-down. “Now you'll remember," he said, voice thick with amusement. "Because you'll think of this every time you look at that textbook."

"That's cheating," Y/N breathed.

"It’s effective teaching." His hands slid higher, fingers trailing along the inside of her elbow. "The brachial artery branches here. Major blood vessel. Very dangerous to sever. I've seen men bleed out in minutes from a wound right here."

"You're supposed to be helping me study, not giving me nightmares."

"I'm doing both." She could hear the grin in his voice. "Where's the humerus, love?"

"Upper arm bone. Runs from shoulder to elbow."

"Good girl." His hands moved to her shoulders, thumbs pressing into the joint. "And here's where it connects to the scapula. Feel that? The way it rotates in the socket?"

He guided her arm through a slow circle, and she was acutely aware that this was the least educational anatomy lesson in the history of education.

"Now," Klaus said, his hands settling on her ribcage, "tell me what organs the ribs protect."

"Heart and lungs," she managed, though thinking was becoming increasingly difficult with his palms warm against her sides.

"And where exactly is your heart, sweetheart?" His hand slid to rest over her left breast, palm flat against where her heart was hammering. "Right here. Between the fourth and fifth ribs, slightly left of center. I can feel it racing."

"That's because you're being distracting."

"Am I now?" His thumb traced the curve of her bottom rib. "The liver sits here, on your right side, just beneath the ribcage. Largest internal organ. Extremely vascular, which means—"

"It bleeds a lot if damaged. I know. I read that part."

"But now you'll remember it." His hands spanned her waist. "Because you'll remember this."

Y/N opened her eyes and turned her head to find him watching her with that intense focus that still made her stomach flip even after three years.

"This is the worst study method ever," she said.

"Is it working?"

She grabbed the textbook, flipping to a diagram of the skeletal system. "Radius is thumb-side forearm bone. Ulna is pinky-side. Humerus is upper arm. Scapula is shoulder blade. Heart between fourth and fifth ribs, left of center. Liver right side, beneath ribs."

Klaus's grin was absolutely wicked. "See? Effective. You're going to ace this exam." He pulled her into his lap, textbook and all. "Now, shall we discuss the skeletal structure of the hand? I have very strong opinions about metacarpals."

"Of course you do."

But she didn't pull away. And when he started explaining the twenty-seven bones in the human hand while tracing each one on her palm, she actually retained the information. Even if he was using a thousand years of creative violence to help her pass anatomy.

· · ─────────── ·· ────────── · ·

Klaus was sprawled across his bed the following evening, reading a first edition of Byron's poetry. One he'd acquired directly from the source back in 1816. That’s when Y/N burst through the door with her anatomy textbook and a determined expression. 

"Take your shirt off."

He lowered the book slowly, one eyebrow arching in amusement as a slow smirk spread across his face. "Well, love, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but generally there's a bit more preamble. Perhaps some—"

"I need to study muscles," she interrupted, already pulling sticky notes and markers from her bag. "You have muscles. Take your shirt off."

The smirk faltered slightly. "You want me to...what, exactly?"

"Be my anatomical model." She was flipping through the textbook, completely focused. "Yesterday you helped with bones and organs. Today I need to map muscle groups. The trapezius, deltoids, pectoralis major, all of it. So. Shirt. Off."

Klaus set the book aside, genuinely caught off guard for possibly the first time in decades.

"You're serious."

"Dead serious. I have an exam in three days and I still can't tell the difference between the flexor carpi radialis and the flexor carpi ulnaris."

"Those are in the forearm, love."

"I KNOW." She looked up at him with those eyes that had been wrecking his composure for three years. "Which is why I need a three-dimensional reference. Please?"

He couldn't quite suppress his grin as he sat up and pulled his henley over his head in one smooth motion. "You know, most people would just use diagrams."

"Most people don't have a thousand-year-old vampire boyfriend with perfect muscle definition." She stepped closer, textbook in one hand, sticky notes in the other. "Now hold still."

For the next twenty minutes, Klaus discovered what it was like to be treated as a living anatomy chart. Y/N circled him with scientific precision, comparing his actual musculature to the diagrams in her book. She pressed her fingers against his shoulder, feeling the way the deltoid connected, her touch clinical but maddening. 

Klaus's breath hitched. It was subtle, just the slightest catch, but enough that he had to close his eyes and concentrate on maintaining his composure. Legendary self-control, and here he was, undone by her fingertips tracing the contours of his shoulder.

She scribbled "DELTOID - raises arm laterally" on a pink sticky note and pressed it onto his skin, completely oblivious to the effect she was having.

Her fingers moved to his chest, mapping the pectoralis major with careful attention. Klaus kept his eyes firmly shut, jaw tight.

"You alright?" she asked absently, not looking up from her textbook.

"Perfectly fine, love." His voice came out rougher than intended. "Just...focusing."

Another sticky note landed on his chest. Her palm pressed flat against his sternum as she smoothed it down. His breathing definitely wasn't steady anymore.

She moved to his back, and he felt her fingers trace the line of his trapezius from neck to shoulder blade. The touch was exploratory and entirely innocent in intent. But it was driving him absolutely mad.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," he muttered, more to himself than to her.

"This is effective studying. You said so yourself yesterday."

"Yes, but yesterday I was the one doing the teaching. This is different."

"How so?"

"Because yesterday I got to touch you. Today I'm supposed to sit here like a statue while you—" He broke off as her fingers found the tricep. "Bloody hell."

She patted his shoulder absently, already moving on to label different muscle groups. By the time she'd covered his arms, shoulders, chest, and back with sticky notes, Klaus looked like he'd been attacked by an overeagerly organized student, and his self-control was hanging by a thread.

Then her eyes landed on his paint supplies.

"Oh, that's perfect."

"What's perfect? Y/N, what are you—"

She'd already grabbed his cadmium red and a fine brush. "The book shows the muscles in different colors to distinguish them. If I outline them on you, I can see exactly where they start and stop."

"Absolutely not."

"Klaus, please? It'll wash off."

"I'm a hybrid, not a canvas!"

But she was already uncapping the paint with a look that meant arguing was pointless. He sighed, resigned to his fate. "You're lucky I love you."

"I know." She dipped the brush in red paint. "Now flex your arm."

Klaus sighed, obeying her commands snd she just...stopped. Stared. Her eyes fixed on the way his bicep curved under the skin, the definition of muscle that came from a millennium of fighting. 

Klaus's eyes opened. The corner of his mouth twitched. "See something you like, sweetheart?"

She blinked, cheeks flushing. "I'm studying."

"Studying requires looking at the textbook occasionally." His smirk widened. "You've been staring at my arm for fifteen seconds which I would know because I counted."

"I was comparing it to the diagram."

"The diagram is on the table behind you, my love"

Her blush deepened. "Shut up."

"Make me." His voice dropped lower, teasing. "Or are you too busy admiring the brachialis? Perhaps the biceps brachii? I can flex again if you need a longer look." He flexed again, deliberately slow. "What happened to clinical detachment, love? All that scientific focus?"

"I hate you," she muttered, but she was fighting a smile as she finally pressed the brush to his skin.

She traced the bicep, her tongue caught between her teeth in concentration. The paint was cool against his skin, her touch feather-light as she followed the muscle's contour from shoulder to elbow. Klaus watched her work, and despite the torment of sitting still while she touched him so innocently, there was something quietly perfect about this moment. The little furrow between her brows and even the way she muttered anatomical terms under her breath.

She switched to blue for the triceps, yellow for the deltoid, and green for the pectoralis major. "There," she finally announced, stepping back to admire her work. "Perfect. Now I can actually see how everything connects."

Klaus looked down at himself covered in paint outlines and sticky notes, looking like the world's most ridiculous anatomy lesson.

"I look like a child's art project."

"You look educational." She was already taking photos with her phone from different angles. "This is going to help so much."

"Thrilled to be of service," he said dryly. 

She laughed, finally looking up from her phone to really look at him. "Thank you. I know this is weird."

"Weird doesn't begin to cover it, love." He plucked a sticky note off his chest. "But if it helps you pass your exam, I suppose I can endure the indignity."

"My hero," she teased.

"Speaking of which." He stood, paint-covered and sticky-note-decorated, and closed the distance between them. "Since you've quite literally decorated me, I think it's only fair you help clean it off."

"I was going to let you shower—"

In one smooth motion, he had her lifted over his shoulder. "Klaus!"

"You put it there, sweetheart. You're helping wash it off." He was already heading toward his bathroom, her protests dissolving into laughter. "Consider it additional anatomy study. I'll even quiz you on muscle function while we're at it."

"That's not how studying works!"

"It is now."

The shower turned on, steam immediately beginning to fog the glass. Klaus set her down just long enough to start pulling sticky notes off himself, dropping them in a colorful pile on the bathroom counter.

"This is going to take forever," Y/N protested, but she was already pulling her sweater over her head. "Some of those paint lines are really detailed."

"Then I suppose we'll be here a while." He stepped under the spray, colored water already running down his chest as the paint began to dissolve. He held out his hand. "Coming, love?"

She took it, stepping into the shower with him, warm water cascading over them both. "You're going to quiz me, aren't you."

"Absolutely." His hands were already working shampoo through her hair, fingers massaging her scalp. "What's the largest muscle in the human body?"

"Gluteus maximus."

"Good girl." His hands slid down her back deliberately, finding exactly that muscle and squeezing with intent.

She gasped against him. "Klaus—"

"What? I'm being educational." But his smirk was absolutely wicked. "And what does the sartorius do?"

She tried to focus through the distraction of his hands still kneading her backside. "Flexes the hip and knee. It's the longest muscle in the body."

"Excellent." He pressed a kiss to her temple, then without warning, lifted her effortlessly against the shower wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as the water streamed over both of them.

"What muscle did I just use to lift you?" he asked, voice dropping lower. Her brain scrambled to function while pressed against tile, held up by nothing but his strength.

"The—the deltoids helped. Biceps. Core muscles for stabilization."

"Very good, sweetheart." One hand slid up her thigh, squeezing the muscle there. "And what muscle is this?"

"Quadriceps," she breathed.

His hand moved higher, fingers tracing, caressing. "And this?"

"Adductors. Inner thigh."

"Mmm. You're doing so well." His lips found her neck, teeth grazing. "What about here?" His hand splayed across her ribcage.

"External obliques."

"Perfect." The word rumbled against her throat. "See how much better you remember when there's proper motivation?"

"This is—" She lost her train of thought entirely when his thumb traced circles against her hip. "This is not proper study technique."

"Isn't it? You're answering every question correctly." He shifted his hold, demonstrating his point. "What muscles am I using now to keep you exactly where I want you?"

She was trembling, and not from the cooling water.

"Deltoids, biceps, pectorals for...for holding. Core strength. Gluteus maximus for hip extension and—oh god—"

"Keep going, love. You're doing brilliantly."

"I can't think when you're—"

"When I'm what?" Pure innocence in his tone, completely contradicted by the way his hands were mapping her body. "I'm simply providing hands-on education. You said you needed a three-dimensional reference."

“I did?” 

“Mhm. And you're going to ace this exam,” he finally lowered her back to her feet, though his hands remained at her waist. "Because every time you look at those diagrams, you're going to remember this. Aren't you?"

Her legs were unsteady, her heart was racing, and yes, she was absolutely going to remember every single muscle group now. "You're very pleased with yourself."

"Extremely." He tucked wet hair behind her ear. "Now, let's actually wash this paint off before the water runs cold. And I expect you to identify every muscle I use while doing so."

"You're going to make me work for this, aren't you?"

"Always, sweetheart." His grin was devastating. They stayed in the shower until every trace of color had washed away, Klaus continuing his relentless anatomical quiz while she scrubbed paint from his skin, both of them laughing when she got an answer wrong and he found creative ways to help her remember the correct one.

By the time they finally emerged, wrapped in towels with the bathroom thick with steam, Y/N had successfully memorized twelve major muscle groups and several creative applications thereof. And Klaus had a pile of sticky notes on his counter that he absolutely was not throwing away, along with the private satisfaction of knowing his girlfriend would never look at an anatomy textbook the same way again.

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Klaus drove into her, his hands gripping her hips as she lay beneath him. But something felt off. Her responses were all there. The usual soft gasps and the way her body arched but her focus wasn't. Her hands weren't clutching at him desperately as they usually did; instead, they were...exploring. They were focused and dare he say too focused as they traced patterns across his shoulders and down his spine.

He slowed his movements, watching her face. Her eyes were slightly unfocused, her brow furrowed in concentration that had nothing to do with pleasure.

"Are you..." he began, disbelief coloring his tone, "Are you studying my musculature while I'm fucking you?"

Y/N's eyes snapped to his, a guilty flush spreading across her cheeks. "What? No! I'm—" she broke off as his expression darkened. "Maybe a little?"

Klaus stilled completely, still buried inside her, his jaw tightening. "Let me understand this correctly," he said, his accent thickening dangerously. "I have you naked beneath me, my cock inside you, and you're using this opportunity to mentally catalog my trapezius?"

She bit her lip, fighting a smile despite the tension. "It's just...they're right there," she explained weakly as he drops his head into the crook of his neck "And they're so well-defined when you're holding yourself up like this. I can see exactly where the latissimus dorsi connects to—"

"Oh my god." Klaus lifted his head to stare at her in utter disbelief. "I'm literally inside you and you're thinking about anatomy."

"It's your fault!" She tried to defend herself, fighting the smile tugging at her lips. "You made me use you as a study model and now I can't stop thinking about it!"

"That was supposed to help you pass your exam, not ruin our sex life!"

"It's not ruining—"

Klaus cut her off with a growl, pulling out of her entirely and flipping her onto her stomach in one fluid movement. Before she could protest, he'd pinned her wrists above her head with one hand. "If you insist on treating me like an anatomy lesson," he murmured against her ear, his free hand sliding beneath her to lift her hips, "then I'll make certain it's one you won't forget."

He entered her again, the new angle drawing a genuine gasp from her lips. "Now," he continued, his voice conversational as he established a punishing rhythm, "since you're so interested in muscle function, let's discuss what's happening right now."

His hand released her wrists to slide down her back, following the curve of her spine. "The erector spinae," he informed her, fingers tracing the muscles along either side of her vertebrae, "contracts to arch your back just like this."

His hand moved to grip her hip, fingers digging into the flesh there. "The gluteus medius," he continued, punctuating the words with a deep thrust that made her cry out, "stabilizes your pelvis while I'm taking you."

"Klaus," she moaned, all thoughts of studying forgotten as her fingers clutched at the sheets.

"No, no," he chided, reaching around to cup her breast, thumb circling her nipple. "Pay attention, love. This is educational. The pectoralis major," he squeezed gently, "so sensitive to touch."

His other hand slid between her legs, finding her center with ease. "And here," he murmured, circling the bundle of nerves with his fingers as he continued to move within her, "is where all those nerve endings converge. Fascinating bit of anatomy, wouldn't you agree?"

Y/N could only respond with incoherent sounds of pleasure, her body trembling beneath his expert touch.

"I asked you a question," he prompted, slowing his movements until she whimpered in protest.

"Yes," she gasped out. "Fascinating. Please, Klaus—"

"Please what?" His voice was silk wrapped around steel. "Continue the anatomy lesson?"

"No!" she cried out. "Just...please."

He leaned down, his chest pressed against her back, lips at her ear. "I want to hear you say it," he demanded softly. "Tell me where your attention is now."

"On you," she breathed. "You. I swear."

He smiled against her skin, satisfaction evident in the curve of his lips. "Good girl," he praised, resuming his earlier pace. "Now, shall I demonstrate what happens when these muscles contract all at once?"

His fingers moved faster against her center, his thrusts becoming more intense as he drove her toward the edge.

"Klaus!" she cried out, her body tightening around him as release crashed over her.

He followed her moments later, his own release punctuated by a low groan against her neck. They collapsed together, a tangle of limbs and ragged breathing. After several moments, Klaus rolled onto his side, pulling her against his chest. His fingers traced lazy patterns on her arm as their breathing returned to normal.

"So," he said finally, amusement coloring his tone, "did that help with your studies?"

Y/N turned in his arms to face him, her expression sheepish but satisfied. "Definitely," she admitted. "Though I'm not sure I could explain any of it on an exam."

"Perhaps not," he agreed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But I guarantee you'll never look at a muscle diagram the same way again."

She laughed, burying her face against his chest. "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

Klaus shook his head, a rare genuine smile softening his features. "Next time you need to study," he suggested, pulling her closer, "perhaps just ask me to pose for you properly. Less distracting for both of us."

"Where's the fun in that?" she countered, but he was already pulling her on top of him, all thoughts of anatomy lesson forgotten as her lips found his once more.

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[dgsafdmd]

I would know that smirk anywhere.

[june-eyere]

I'm so not normal about him

[off-the-records-now]

Also please don't hesitate to send me The Originals or TVD fics/Headcanons/one shots. I've been obsessed again.