dunmeshi enjoyer

lixy, they/them, 25+, current special interest: dunmeshi

[larval-tear]

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

[bigmeatpete69420]

This princess forgot about super glue

[larval-tear]

sorry i am a dumb bitch

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[bunnygirlpaws]

she transitioned

[creepymutelilbugger]

[sighinastorm]

uh, source?

[frowningfox]

Source:

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

[theonlycabbage]

fucking obliterated lmao

[angstbotfic]

[orteil42]

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

[orteil42]

you are making this so difficult

[lohboh]

"pjackk" was an experiment to synthesize the world's first "ethical lolcow" conducted by a team of researchers at the massachusetts institute of technology

[lohboh]

[spamtown-usa]

The Mysterious Pervert has reblogged your post

The Mysterious Pervert has deleted their reblog

Lovely Mutual has reblogged your post

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[thatstupidkat-deactivated202602]

[yuriartillery]

meowing is an effective way to locate other allied combatants in low visibility conditions

[depsidase]

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[fishiesgarden]

my dawg

[aparticularlysmallrat]

this is what your dog wold look like as a fish

[fishiesgarden]

what's your fucking problem

[only-tiktoks]

[swan2swan]

Millions of Years of Immutable Evolutionary Law: “Cats shall have litters of many offspring at one time. Some will be weak or stricken with disease--they will perish to allow the stronger siblings to escape, and to satiate other predators in order to reduce competition and encourage the existence of more capable adults.”

Human Beings:

[magicalmanhattanproject]

important note: this cat's full name is breakfast sandwich

[despazito]

[acidhues]

[the-secondborn-of-seven]

the long tormented shape woman

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,