SLYTHERPUFF

“Fuck you, my child is completely fine”

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I write more via WATTPAD!

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[officialcga]

Hufflepuff: can I tell you a joke?

Slytherin: *already regretting it* Sure

Hufflepuff: why shouldn’t you break up with a quidditch player?

Slytherin: why?

Hufflepuff: *on the brink of tears bc they’re holding back laughter* because they’re a keeper.

Slytherin: ...

[officialcga]

How I have 400 people following me is beyond me. I bet 70% of y’all are robots But I don’t care. I hope you guys find a dollar or something on the ground 🥲

[officialcga]

Slytherin: *panicking* holy shit get it off, GET IT OFF!

Hufflepuff (pulling away from a hug): I’m showing you my affection

Slytherin: that was the most horrendous emotion I have ever felt...do it again.

[officialcga]

What is you zodiac sign

Virgo😌

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Gryffindor : oh you think you’re so smart just because you are a Ravenclaw.

Ravenclaw: ohhh you think you’re so tough because you’re a Gryffindor .

Slytherin: oh, look at the idiots.

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Hufflepuff: what if vegetables have feelings too? We eat them alive, cook them alive and bled them alive. they have to live through torture.

Slytherin: IM FUCKING BEGGING YOU go to SLEEP

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Slytherin: I’m gonna need you to shut up for the week.

Hufflepuff[on the brim of tears]: why?

Slytherin: bc I have to no control when you ask me for shit and my paycheck isn’t until Monday.

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Slytherin: how am I supposed to feel nice when people like you exist.

Hufflepuff: why would I ever change you when people like you are with me.

Slytherin: god you just don’t know when to stop *sniff

[officialcga]

Slytherin: man fuck Valentine’s Day. It’s huffintines day *puts a party cone on their head*

Hufflepuff: where’s my cake

Slytherin: I was jok...

Hufflepuff: cake

Slytherin: *placing an order for cake* cake *sigh

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Slytherin[grabs a random hufflepuff]: you’re my Valentine.

Hufflepuff: I think you meant to ask...

Slytherin: you heard what I said

Hufflepuff[a little giddy]: happy Valentine’s Day to me.

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Slytherin: if it doesn’t start with huff and end with puff I don’t want it.

Hufflepuff: too bad I want it to start with a million and end with aire.

Slytherin: what in the slytherin?!?

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Hufflepuff [nervous]: I like you

Slytherin: I like me too

Slytherin:....let’s like me together

Hufflepuff [extremely happy]: YES

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Hufflepuff [trying to be intimidating]: I’ll beat your fucking ass.

Slytherin: I mean shit *unbuttons shirt seductively* if that’s what your into, I fucking agree.

Hufflepuff: huh?

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Slytherin: if violence is not the answer, why is it solving my problems so well?

Ravenclaw: you know what you have a fucking point.

Hufflepuff: you people need to sit down *pats the chair*

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Hufflepuff: people think I’m a softy, bitch I’ll stab you

Slytherin: with what a pencil?

Hufflepuff: no! That’s violent.

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I’m planing to do a slytherin x hufflepuff x gryffindor fic . Give me your thoughts!

Honestly, it’s really fun to write! I would recommend, although I like “real” writing like on wattpad! If you have not already...

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I have a Draco malfoy book on there and others!