Official Jess Food Review

They/He | Food review blog from a picky eater

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Official Jess Review #22

Banquet Mega Bowls Chicken Bacon Alfredo

It's pretty okay. The alfredo sauce is pretty plain and not very flavorful, the bacon adds a little bit to it but not enough to save it from being mid. The chicken is very chicken nugget-like but it's not bad, it could definitely be worse but i do wish the texture of it was more towards real chicken instead of nuggets. I enjoy a few other banquet meals so i expected this to be good since it's a higher price than the standard ones but it's unfortunately pretty mid. It is a cheap way to get 25g of protein for $3 but not something i'm gonna buy again. 6/10

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Official Jess Review #21

Uncrustables PB Choco Craze

I very much love peanut butter and chocolate/hazelnut mixed together, so when this first released i knew i had to try it. It has a really good ratio of chocolate to peanut butter, i was worried it would be unbalanced but i think they nailed it. I really enjoy the uncrustables hazelnut spread as well, it's not too powerful but is still quite sweet. I wish i could buy these more often but they're sooo expensive :( 10/10

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Official Jess Review #20

Mott's Orange Swirl Bar Applesauce

I saw this online a while ago and was intrigued by it, i forgot about it until i went grocery shopping recently and saw it in the store, so i bought it since i wanted to try it quite a bit. It definitely tastes just like the name; it certainly still has a major applesauce taste to it but the subtle orange and cream flavors are really good, makes it taste pretty similar to an orange cream bar. I wasnt sure what to expect when it came to the orange flavor since orange cream bars can vary quite a lot between brands but it definitely isn't bad, it's a more generic orange taste that i'd expect, which isn't bad. I personally prefer unsweetened applesauce to sweetened, so i greatly appreciate that this doesnt have any added sugar, not even for health reasons but because i like the taste waayy more. Idk if i'll get this again but i'm glad i tried it!! 7.75/10

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Official Jess Review #19

Great Value Pepperoni Pizza Snack Rolls

I honestly bought these thinking they would be kinda mid but wanting to try them anyway, and they're surprisingly very yummy. The sauce has a nice, more mellow flavor, the cheese is a very basic mozzarella but it blends nicely with the sauce, and the breading is a little bland but i like it. My only complaint with these is that in the one plate i have in front of me right now, two of the pizza rolls are EMPTY. The smallest speck of filling and nothing else but breading. I admittedly had another plate of these yesterday and there was another one or two in there that were also empty. I made these in the air fryer so when i had them yesterday my first thought was that they just got a little more crispy than the rest, but today i decided to open one of them and it's just entirely empty. These pizza rolls are largely inconsistent in how they taste in the first place so having some that are just completely empty is sad. These are good pizza rolls, and they're quite cheap compared to Totino's, but this makes me hesitant to buy them again. 6.75/10

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Official Jess Review #18

Coconut Pocky

I got this expecting it to taste like the Samoas/Caramel Delight Girl Scout Cookies (or at least the good dupes of them i've had) and they're pretty similar. The chocolate definitely isnt normal Pocky chocolate, it's quite a bit sweeter but it isnt too much. There's quite a lot of coconut on these but i dont mind that much, it's a generally good texture. 8/10

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Official Jess Review #17

Great Value Frozen Macaroni & Cheese

This has a relatively plain taste to it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It has a relatively thin sauce, which i don't personally prefer a lot of the time but it doesn't take away from the actual taste. It's probably the most average mac n cheese i've ever had, but it has a very familiar and homely taste to it. Adding a little bit of salt brings out the flavor just a bit more in a way it needed. I do quite like the noodles, theyre a good shape and came out of the microwave a good soft texture. Pretty okay for generic great value brand, but probably not good enough to get again when i could get a better two person frozen meal for about the same price. 6.5/10

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Official Jess Review #16

Monster Rehab Peach Tea

I figured i should give another rehab flavor a try especially considering i liked the peach mango celsius. This starts as just about the same flavor as the peach mango celsius, it tastes like the syrup from the peaches that come in a jar, but after about 1 second of that flavor it comes crashing in with a weird tea flavor that i dont like. I took quite a few sips of it because i wanted to believe the peach flavor would overpower it but it happened every time and i couldnt handle having to taste that tea every time. 5/10

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Official Jess Review #15

Taco Bell Cheesy Melt Grilled Steak Burrito

I love the taco bell steak a lot so just with that this is a good burrito, i dont really love the taco bell rice but i think it mixes textures well with the steak, i barely noticed the jalapeno sauce in this which is good cuz i like the jalapeno sauce but i only like a small amount of it. this should honestly be a permanent item considering almost all of the ingredients are already on everything else, i would love an item like this to stay so i could have the taco bell steak on something more often. 8.75/10

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Official Jess Review #14

Mama Cozzi's Four Cheese Toasted Ravioli

i honestly forgot these were gonna be a new thing im trying until after i started eating them, which if anything is good because my initial reaction was "wow these are good :)". The cheese inside definitely tastes like the type of cheese i've had in other raviolis, i can barely taste the mozzarella in a good way, as in it blends well with the other cheeses, and the texture of the cheese filling is kinda similar to ricotta which is a good texture for something like this. The edges came out pretty crispy so i mightve baked them for a little too long but the texture is still really nice. The breading is really good, it has a strong taste which makes sure these aren't bland eating multiple in a row, but it's not too strong either and lets the cheese shine through the most. They definitely could go with some marinara sauce or maybe some type of white sauce, i didnt have any on hand but i think dipping these in a white sauce would elevate them even more. I made these in the oven despite my box saying "air fryer friendly" cuz it didnt actually have any air fryer instructions on the box, maybe that'll change eventually tho. Whenever i go to aldi again i will have to get these again to try em with some type of sauce. 8/10

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Official Jess Review #13

Fizz Free Dragon Fruit Lime Celsius

I had no real expectations for this one cuz i dont know what dragonfruit tastes like and i figured there was a chance it might be good since I've liked almost every celsius I've tried to far. It's really mostly lime tho with what i assume is the dragonfruit making it taste like how perfume smells. I was really hoping I'd like this one considering I've been struggling to find the raspberry acai one again but no this just kinda sucks, both new fizz free releases from celsius have been flops which im very sad about considering how good their other fizz free ones are. It's not the most heinous thing in the world but boy is it bad. 3/10

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Official Jess Review #12

Bellisio Pepperoni Pizza Snack Rolls

We bought these at Costco and i have actually tried these before but it was only one, so this is my real comprehensive review of these. I think theyre amazing. I'm extremely picky when it comes to buying "dupes" of brands i like, but these honestly dont feel like theyre trying to imitate Totino's very much (in a good way). Obviously the entire concept is taking from it but they definitely have their own taste. The breading is lightly seasoned in a way that tastes like it could actually be pizza crust, the sauce is very mellow in a good way (i hate pizza sauce that's too "strong"), and the cheese tastes so similar to mozzarella sticks which i think has to do with the combination of it with the breading but it might also have more "real" mozzarella than Totino's. I made these in the air fryer and i think a lot of them had the tendency to puff up and make big air pockets of nothing, so it was a little disappointing sometimes biting into just the breading (despite how good it is on its own) but i feel like Totino's does this sometimes as well, so i wont knock it too hard for that. It's almost hard to compare because of how different the flavors are, i dont remember how much these cost but if they're cheaper than the same size bag of the Totino's i might have to get these more often. 9.75/10

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Official Jess Review #11

Celsius Raspberry Acai + Green Tea

This is the second to last fizz free flavor i have yet to try, the other being the new dragonfruit lime, and i didnt really know how to feel on this one before i tried it. Considering i have liked pretty much every single celsius that i've tried so far (even if i'm disappointed by the pink lemonade it still wasnt a heinous drink) including the other one with green tea, i was ready with my heart open, and it is surprisingly very good. It tastes almost exactly like the Raspberry Tea Monster Rehab, but with a much more subdued flavor. My entire issue with the monster is that its taste was WAY too strong, so having this celsius which is almost exactly the way i wouldve liked the monster to taste is a pleasant surprise. It also tastes almost exactly like a raspberry tootsie pop, which i like quite a bit. I'm not usually partial to raspberry flavors, and the acai part didnt really give me much to go off in terms of what to expect for a flavor, but this was good and i'm glad i have another option. 9/10

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Official Jess Review #10

Celsius Fizz Free Pink Lemonade

When I first heard this announced I got very excited, hoping it would be a good replacement for the strawberry lemonade monster rehab. But it is unfortunately 7/11 and Speedway exclusive, which i dont have any near me. They do have packs on amazon, but i didnt wanna buy a whole 12 pack in the event i didnt really like it. However I was fortunate enough to have went on a trip recently where i found one. My first impressions were that of sadness, because the actual pink lemonade flavor isnt really there at all. It smells almost exactly like the Country Time pink lemonade, which i love, and i can tell the actual taste of the pink lemonade they were going for is the same as well, which is very delicious. But the flavor is so subtle, all i really taste is the base celsius lemonade flavor, which isnt bad, but i taste plenty of that in the blue raspberry lemonade flavor. I would much rather have this than the blue raspberry, and i would say the actual pink lemonade flavor they have in here is very good, but i can only taste it sometimes, which makes me incredibly sad seeing as how excited i was to have this new flavor when they already have such limited flavors for the fizz free celsius's. There is a chance i got a bad one, or i didnt shake it up enough after it had been sitting in my fridge for a few days, and i do have a second one, so i might be able to make an addendum in the tags of this post, but that would only be in the event that it tastes different than this one. Very sad day. 6/10

Edit: I had my other one and it was somehow worse than the first. I shook it up a lot to see if it would help the flavor cuz that helps with the blue raspberry one but i think it just brought out more of the base lemonade flavor in a bad way. I'm extremely disappointed about this considering how much i love pink lemonade and how much i've been loving every fizz free celsius i've had, it feels like they completely dropped the ball on this. 4.5/10

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Official Jess Review #9

Caribou Coffee Chocolate Croissant

The picture on the website that I posted here looks way less appetizing than the real thing did. I loved Starbucks' chocolate croissants but havent gotten one in a long ass time, and when i was looking at caribou for lunch today i figured i could give it a try, and i'm glad i did. It feels hard to describe exactly what's so good about the actual croissant part, it was very flaky so it was messy but it was so buttery and light and mixed with the chocolate so well. And the chocolate itself was a nice smooth flavor, not too sweet, almost like semi-sweet chocolate chips. It was pretty damn big too, i ate it so quickly i barely remember enough to write anymore lol. 10/10

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Official Jess Review #8

Celsius Peach Mango Green Tea

I had to be convinced to try this one and i was very hesitant because i pretty much never like things peach, mango, or green tea flavored, so i was ready for it to be terrible. But instead, i opened the can and got a big whiff of jar peaches, which is the one and only way i've ever eaten and enjoyed peaches. This tastes almost exactly like them as well (or at least the juice/syrup they sit in) which is VERY delicious, it's not overpowering like the blue raspberry can be sometimes, it's light and smooth and refreshing to drink. This is definitely gonna be one i'll get again, it feels weird having more than one option for an energy drink. I think the blue raspberry might still be my go-to but i'm sure i will reach for this pretty often. 8/10

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Official Jess Review #7

Circle K Bacon Egg and Cheese Taquito

I think the overall taste of the taquito is a bit bland, i could barely taste the bacon at all, but the cheese taste was quite nice, it had a little bit of a "punch" like a lot of nacho cheese does without actually being spicy. I really like the Circle K taquito breading, it has a nice texture and seasoning even if a bit more bland than you might expect, it allows it to blend with and boost the taquito filling. I liked this but i wish it had more bacon, im not a huge bacon person (i prefer sausage in my breakfast sandwiches and such) but there was like no bacon taste at all in this which was disappointing. 6.5/10

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Official Jess Review #6

Great Value Creamy Chicken & Pasta

This is a completely unexpectedly amazing pasta for a frozen walmart meal. The bechamel sauce is so creamy and has a nice smooth texture, the chicken is cooked well and is nice and soft despite being made in the microwave. I picked the tomatoes off my plate because i dont like them but im sure they add a nice extra flavor on top. I did also add some sea salt on top and i think that brought out the flavor even more. 9/10