Everyone always has something the game helps them with in real life and usually its so beautiful. I saw one girl who learnt to be confident.
I saw many who talked about dumping their shitty boyfriends and learning they deserve to be treated right and it's not some big ask.
The game taught me vulnerability. Being freaked out is second nature to me. I do it without thinking.
Vulnerability, on the other hand, is not my shit. Like I would literally get sweaty at the idea of showing such a side. I kept everyone at arms length because of it, I am an eldest daughter, so you know we are built like steel. I am an only breadwinner on top of that, so my life has very little room for mess ups. I got people to feed.
So, most of my relationships were physical. And only physical. Don't ask me about fucking feelings. Don't start shit like companionship. Just... no. You even say the L word and I am skittish as fuck bro, like you trying to trap me and facilitate my emotional downfall? I think I fall under avoidant if not mistaken.
So playing the game and experiencing acts of love in this kind of controlled way... I was like oh. This is kind of nice.
But I didn't chanel my newfound desire for closeness into romantic relationships, I just started opening up to my friends more.
Like I let go of the whole everything is fine mentality even when it wasn't. If i'm down, I actually tell people now. And spoiler, they didn't run for the hills like i had convinced myself. They actually were so supportive and some relieved like hey we were starting to think you might be a psychopath maybe because you never seem to struggle or talk about struggling with something.
And it's fascinating that the less than perfect version of me is the one who now has this more enriching life with her friends now. I'm allowing myself to have something. And yeah I know it's not romantic based but... I had to start somewhere.
Like even this post is vulnerable and I HATE IT. but not deleting it and sharing the thought will be my scary act of the day.
Moral of the story is yeah we goon and have a good old time, but Love and Deepspace has real life impact on a lot of its players. And I hope it is positive for many many of us. Whatever it helps you cope with, I hope you overcome it ❤️
Also if you're not learning lessons thats totally cool too. Vibing for vibes is absolutely valid.
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