. * ALL THE WAY

[offulcrumarchive]

“ we’re gonna see each other again, right? right? ” -orion

cassian glanced briefly over his shoulder, catching a quick glimpse of jyn, bodhi, and the rogue one ship. this was, cassian felt certain, the very last time that he would stand on yavin iv. the only question that remained was whether or not he should tell orion what he suspected. cassian was a liar, the sort of man that didn’t even blink when he deceived someone, but he’d always had a soft spot for orion. but to tell her the truth would be equally heart wrenching. it was best, cassian decided, if he didn’t answer her. he rested a hand briefly on her shoulder, offering orion the faintest of smirks, and squeezed gently. “take care of yourself, challis.” with that, cassian stepped away, returning to the ship that would most certainly bring him to his demise. 

[offulcrumarchive]

“ i needed to make it stop. ” (me, seeing this: looks like jyn got addicted to spice again) :))

cassian stared at the reddish-brown residue that had been left behind, as if seeing the evidence would allow him to make sense of what he’d done. instead, cassian felt void. there were emotions there, a whirling mess of emotions bubbling just beneath the surface, but he didn’t want to face them. instead, he stepped back behind the mask that he’d always used during missions. he couldn’t be hurt if he refused to feel anything at all. finally, he forced himself to look at her. “so you took spice?” his voice was level, almost calm. his gaze returned to the powder that had been left behind. “you should have--” hurt, anger, concern, slipped through the cracks in his mask, the ones that she had made, and his voice wobbled. “you should have come to me, jyn. i could have helped you.” there was no more hiding the ache that he felt. she wouldn’t want him to hide anyway. “i know i’m not good at talking things through, but i...” but he had to be better than spice? or, perhaps, she didn’t see it that way. perhaps he was not as vital to jyn as she was to him. 

[offulcrumarchive]

“ we’re gonna see each other again, right? right? ”

cassian hesitated as the two fractured pieces of himself warred with one another. the well-versed liar wanted to reassure her, to tell brynn that they’d see each other again sometime in the future. he wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, but he knew better. cassian was just another teenage soldier in an ugly, unforgiving war zone. the odds of his survival were low. his gaze dipped away from hers, finding a spot on the ground that was steady, and he shrugged a shoulder. the motion itself was almost casual, a strange nonchalance, but for a long moment it was all that he could offer her. “i… don’t know.” he confessed with a frown. “this is a war, brynn. we don’t all have families to go home to.” with that he shot her a quick look, a mixture of resentment and longing. if only there was someone who’d take him away from all of this. “i’ll try.” it was the best that he could offer. “i’m not much good to the rebellion if i’m dead anyway.”

[offulcrumarchive]

“ hey, everything okay? cassian? cassian! ”

cassian stepped from the alleyway. his dark eyes took in his surroundings as cautiously as ever, but there was something strange about the way he moved. the usual grace with which he stepped had become disjointed and uncoordinated. jyn seemed to notice immediately, understanding quickly that something was amiss. he turned toward her, face pallid, and lifted his hand from the blooming, red wound in his side. cassian opened his lips, wanting to give orders (or perhaps to tell her not to worry), but he only managed her name. “jyn...” it was as if speaking her name had sapped him of his energy. cassian felt his vision waver, his body tip precariously forward, and just like that the world went dark. 

[sagamemes]

angst & post-angst sentences.   feel free to change diction, pronouns, and the like around to make the sentences more suitable. these sentences are kept vague to imply but avoid mentioning specific triggers besides death—feel free to mention specifics in your ask.

“ don’t touch him! ”

“ please, don’t hurt _____! ”

“ i had nothing to do with that. ”

“ is this my fault? ”

“ you lied to me. ”

“ [name]? —oh, i’m hallucinating. ”

“ she’ll never hurt you again. ”

“ did you kill him? ”

“ you have to stop this. ”

“ it’s been weeks. is it not getting easier? ”

“ i just need to know that something’s real. ”

“ you can resist it. you have to. ”

“ i’m sorry, i thought i saw—… ”

“ every day you’re becoming more like her. ”

“ if i go, he’ll leave you alone. ”

“ you can’t tell ____ that i’m doing this. ”

“ we’re gonna see each other again, right? right? ”

“ she’s not you. ”

“ i can’t hurt him. ”

“ i don’t feel like the same person i was before it happened. ”

“ she’ll go through you to get to me. ”

“ it’s nothing personal. ”

“ you can’t expect me to believe nothing happened, not when you flinch everytime something touches you. ”

“ i thought you knew. ”

“ please, don’t trust me. ”

“ he was just a kid. ”

“ i need you more than you need me. ”

“ if you really wanted to help, you would leave. ”

“ i needed to make it stop. ”

“ do anything she says, don’t give her a reason to hurt you. ”

“ you really don’t remember. _____, you tried to kill me. ”

“ have you ever seen the life leave someone’s eyes? ”

“ i know you can’t talk about it, but i’m going to stay with you regardless. ”

“ hey, everything okay? [name]? [name]! ”

“ you died. ”

“ i deserved worse. ”

“ you never came. ”

“ you would’ve let me die. ”

“ beg. ”

“ the problem is you keep thinking i’m a good person. ”

“ it’s not about me, anymore. ”

“ please tell me he’s lying to me. ”

“ you’re not actually considering this. ”

“ look me in the eyes and say that again. ”

“ you have no right. ”

“ i don’t believe you. ”

“ i love you. i’m sorry. ”

[offulcrumarchive]

don’t forget your boy @ofaviatrix

[offulcrumarchive]

remncnts

brynn had a knack for survival. during her youth, brynn had looked death in the eye and charged headfirst at it. she pushed speeders past factory limits and raced starships with her friends. she was brave, reckless even. death never dared touch her—but grief did. empty spaces began to replace people—her parents, her smuggling friends, her rebellion family—and sometimes, brynn swore that there was an emptiness growing inside of her too. but there was no place for grief or guilt in wartime.

given the circumstances, brynn appeared remarkably well-adjusted. she still flew like a madman. she still struck up conversations with anyone that would pass by, talking about the weather or the food or the laughable “news” that circulated the holonet. anything to fill the void.

times like this, brynn regretfully enjoyed having cassian around. brynn couldn’t stand the toll the rebellion took on him, but he was practically family.

she gave cassian a small smile as she walked over to his bed and sat down beside him. “i’m okay. my wrist and ankle are still messed up from my bad landing after scarif.” brynn held up her arm to show cassian the bruises. “but they say i should be fine soon. are you holding up okay?”

the mission to scarif had been impossibly reckless. the council had turned down jyn’s plea, had refused to move forward for fear that they would not stand a chance against such a powerful weapon, and they’d refused to be swayed. cassian understood the risks. he knew that he would not likely make it off of scarif alive, but that hadn’t bothered him. he had lived for the rebellion, and now he would die for the rebellion. in his mind, it had been a worthwhile exchange. 

perhaps passion had gotten the best of him, or perhaps he’d been blinded by his newfound loyalty to jyn, but he hadn’t expected anyone else to follow them to scarif. cassian knew that rogue one and the rebellion troops that had joined them were to die, but not others. he hadn’t anticipated additional casualties. 

cassian pressed his lips closed, drawing them into a tight line, and he glanced briefly at brynn before daring to speak. “i’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice soft. he should have known better than to think that they’d go into this mission truly, utterly alone. there would be back up, and brynn had been hurt because of him. “i knew what i was risking, but i didn’t think...” the council had voted not to send troops, so why had brynn been there? why had much of the fleet joined the fight from the sky? 

as for him? cassian hesitated. he was thrilled that their mission had been a success, that the death star’s plans had been sent to the rebellion, but he didn’t understand the heroic welcome. people suddenly seemed to know him, to know jyn and kaytoo and bodhi as well, and it was strange for a man who’d spent so much time in the shadows. and then there was the strange doubt that had crept in. “i’m alright.” he lied. "draven hasn’t locked me up yet and i can walk alright.” cassian’s gaze fell to the floor. she’d know that he was hiding something. “i didn’t mean for anyone else to get caught up in this, brynn.”

[offulcrumarchive]

kyberborne

there was a time, jyn remembered, where they had to keep their relationship secret. that wasn’t to say that they were completely open with it now (especially not like other couples –– kes dameron and shara bey are the first ones to come to mind), but in the first couple weeks, they were still trying to figure this whole “dating” thing out themselves, and didn’t need nor want the opinion of other rebels to ruin the tentative thing that they had started. as they walked through the hallways of echo base together, to the room that they shared, she recalled the amount of times she’d snuck out of her room in the middle of the night to avoid prying eyes to visit him. in fear of exposing what they had, the two of them hadn’t been able to offer each other small comforts and affections like they could now –– so, just because she could, she reached out to grab his hand. even with the fingerless gloves she had on, the small amount of skin on skin contact she got from the motion made her heart skip a beat.

oh, how far the two of them had come since those early days.

she let him go briefly in order for him to swipe his keycard. now that they shared a room with each other, everything had become much easier. while she was a talented splicer, the few seconds it had taken her to hack into his room always made her irritable. in hoth’s cold environment (one that she didn’t do well in, as much as she hated to admit), she loathed to spend more time than necessary out in the freezing temperatures. as soon as he opened the door and they stepped into the room, the door closed behind them and he opened his arms to her. jyn went willingly; it had been far too long since she’d been able to hold him like this, and she wasn’t going to spend anytime not touching him if she could help it.

she stood up on her tiptoes to embrace him better, fingers wrapping around his neck and curling into the hair on the back of his head. the blaster wound on her shoulder pulled uncomfortably and her legs ached (though that’s what she got for jumping off a building, she supposed), but she ignored it in favor of holding him and being held. after a few beats, she pulled away, reaching up to cup his cheeks. her thumb stroked back and forth on his cheekbones, noting the dark circles underneath his eyes and the general haggardness of his appearance. “i would have told solo to fly faster if i knew you were back on base,” she admitted. “how long have you been here? are you okay? i can tell you haven’t been sleeping, cass.”

for the better part of his life, cassian had only quiet contemplation and guilt to return to once he’d arrived on base. he had once felt a strange sense of dread when he’d completed his mission briefings, if only because he knew what was to come next. cassian would return to his quarters, relax for just a moment, and the memories of what he had done would pounce. quiet contemplation of his crimes threatened to swallow him whole, to drive him to madness, and there had been many nights where he’d tossed and turned for fear of the dreams that would come. nightmares. he’d hated coming home, he’d hated ‘time off’ if only because it was more labor intensive than most of his missions were. 

the only way those thoughts would end, he’d once thought, was for a blaster to silence his mind. 

he’d been wrong, however. instead, it had taken jyn. it wan’t to say that cassian was immune from those thoughts that haunted him, nor the crimes of his past, or even the nightmares, but jyn made coming home easier. rather than think of the lives he’d taken, of the secrets that he’d pried from unwilling informants, he focused on the color of her eys and the way that she stood. rather than dread coming back to base, he looked forward to these homecomings now, if only so he could be back in her arms. this, he thought to himself as she stood on her tiptoes to hold him tighter, this was all that he wanted. cassian buried his face in the crook of her neck, taking in her scent, and allowed his mind to turn to her. she was all that mattered now. 

kriff, it was good to be home. cassian closed his eyes briefly, allowing himself to lean into her gentle touch. a little huff of air slipped through his lips, and after a long moment cassian finally opened his eyes. “a few days,” he replied with a little shrug of his shoulder. cassian was still trying to make sense of the information he had collected, his superiors weren’t quite certain what to do with it either, as it turned out. something was missing, something wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t think that this was the opportunity to tell jyn about it. whatever it was, he would resolve it on another mission. for now, he was content to be at her side. “i...” cassian hesitated and then gave her a sheepish look. “i haven’t slept well. it was a busy mission,” and he hated the part when he had to be alone, he hated to come back to their quarters by himself. that, in reality, was why he hadn’t slept. “i’ll be alright. what about you?” he asked quietly, “you don’t look like you’ve had much sleep either.”

[moonmccoy-deactivated20190131]

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. —  (e.h.)

[offulcrumarchive]

kyberborne

as much as jyn hated working with the police department, the people working there (especially cassian and his horribly irritating partner) had been the ones to get her out of wobani. in exchange for her freedom, she’d basically be one of their top criminal informants. it wasn’t a bad deal –– anything was better than prison –– but she still hated helping the same people who had gotten her locked up in the first place. 

hence –– the issue where the only person she’d work willingly with in the precinct was cassian.

the two of them had a sort of understanding. she’d be as helpful as possible (well, as helpful as SHE could) and he’d treat her like a fucking human being instead of an ex-convict. despite more than one officer working on this case, she would only talk to him. “give me your fucking cellphone number and we won’t have to,” she snapped back, his irritation fanning her own anger. “yeah, sure, it can wait until next week. ranthe will just be out of the fucking country by then, but i’ll just sit the fuck down and –– “

jyn sucked in a sharp breath, both in an attempt to ease the pain in her ribs and to calm her rising anger. she didn’t know if they were broken or not, but now wasn’t the time to check them. “listen, captain,” she snarled out, running her hands through her hair in an attempt to find the wound and stop the bleeding, blood currently making her hair matted. “ranthe came into the bar, so i decided to confront him. the bastard got –– fuck!” she found the spot, pressing down hard to judge the severity. if she was lucky, it was only a minor concussion. she leaned up against the wall, legs shaking slightly until she decided that standing wasn’t worth it if she was going to fall. “i didn’t see where he went, but he’s probably headed toward the border. i know you assholes track my phone, so send a squadron south of my location. you’re fucking welcome.”

jyn was volatile. cassian had known as much from the first time that he’d flipped through her records, scouring the various charges that the department had leveled against her. she wasn’t ideal, not someone that he expected to make a very good informant, but his commander was hellbent on the idea and cassian knew better than to argue with draven. if he wanted erso, cassian would make damn sure that he got her. and so, here was erso. despite cassian’s initial distaste, she’d grown on him as much as a criminal could. she annoyed him, seemed to constantly fuck up, but he admired her fighting spirit. 

with all of that knowledge, cassian should have known better than to snap at her. 

doing so, he realized a moment too late, would only set her off. cassian pinched the bridge of his nose and let a slow sigh slip through his lips. “i’m not giving you my cellphone number,” he responded cooly. there were a thousand reasons that it would be foolish to do so. mostly, however, because cassian didn’t want jyn showing up on his doorstep and asking for a couch to sleep on or something equally ludicrous. “i meant that you shouldn’t be calling unless there’s an emergency.” a pause. perhaps this was an emergency. 

he was just about to ask for more details when jyn continued on. her words were rapid fire but cassian kept up, something had happened with ranthe. equally troubling, something had happened to jyn if the little gasp he’d heard on the other end of the phone was anything to go by. without another thought he stood, grabbing his keys off of the hook he’d left them on. “kay,” cassian growled, nudging his partner’s shoulder. “find erso’s coordinates, go south of there.” 

“very specific,” kay replied, his voice dripping with annoyance. “how far south do you want me to go?” 

well, kay had a point. “how much time has passed? i can’t send kay anywhere if you don’t give me a hint.” 

“send me? and where are you going?” cassian ignored his partner’s question, and opted to watch over his shoulder instead. in a moment’s time, jyn’s cellphone had been picked up on the screen and cassian had her exact coordinates. “i’m coming there, got it?” she sounded hurt and cassian needed to make damn sure that his most promising informant in the last year wasn’t killed on the job. “don’t move.” 

[offulcrumarchive]

remncnts

there had hardly been a moment of quiet since the battle of scarif. first came the destruction of the death star, then came the celebrations, and finally the evacuations. scared of imperials finding their yavin base, the rebels ran to another one.

a thin blanket was wrapped around brynn’s shoulders and another was being carried in her arms as she approached cassian’s bunk. the whole day had been spent settling into the new base. brynn had seen her friend maybe two or three times in quick passes and short glimpses, and that was more that she’d gotten to really see him since he had returned from scarif.

when she arrived, the door was slightly ajar. she did not bother knocking. instead, she slung the blanket over her left forearm and pushed the door further open with her right hand.

“hey,” she called out. “do you still need a blanket? …or maybe some company?”

spy. assassin. saboteur. cassian was a great many things in regard to the rebellion, but above all, he was a soldier. his superiors gave him an order, and no matter how ugly or how horrible, cassian was expected to follow his orders to the last word. he’d lived by those expectations for the better part of his life. time and time again, draven and mothma had called upon him to do the dirtiest work, the hardest work, because they understood that they could count on him to do what needed to be done. 

but that had all changed. 

he’d first noticed the shift on eadu when he’d been unable to pull the trigger to end galen erso’s life. despite having the shot, despite the rain, he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger. ultimately, it hadn’t mattered then. galen had still been killed, but that one insubordinate act had started a chain reaction. with it, cassian had built the courage to follow jyn and the remainder of the rogue one team to scarif. he knew that his superiors weren’t thrilled with him. they were happy about what he and jyn had found, but not how he’d gone about it. there would be hell to pay. 

cassian had lost track of time, of himself, and sat quietly in his room staring off into the middle distance. no one was around to see him this way, contemplative and vulnerable, and he needed to think this through before it was time for a reckoning. it was only when he noted movement, the faint scuffle of feet, that he lifted his head and locked eyes on brynn. he blinked. she was not who he’d expected. “i have a blanket,” he replied, his voice flat. it took a moment for him to consider what she’d said next, but eventually he nodded. “... you can stay. i don’t mind.” his eyes fell to the floor and he shifted to the side slightly so she could sit with him. “how are you holding up?”

[vaememes]

✧     CRIMSON     PEAK     SENTENCE     PROMPTS    !   

*  A MIXTURE OF CRIMSON PEAK PROMPTS , TRIGGERS MAY APPLY , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

❝ They take the heat from the sun, and when it deserts them, they die. ❞

❝ They’re dying.  ❞

❝ You’re monsters. Both of you! ❞

❝ It’s a world of everything dying and eating each other right beneath our feet. ❞

❝ Surely there’s more to it than that. ❞

❝ Beautiful things are fragile… ❞

❝ At home we have only black moths. ❞

❝ Formidable creatures, to be sure, but they lack beauty. ❞

❝ They thrive on the dark and cold. ❞

❝ What do they feed on? ❞

❝ You’re so… different. ❞

❝ Ghosts are real, that much I know. I’ve seen them all my life… ❞

❝ It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all. ❞

❝ But the horror… The horror was for love. ❞

❝ The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret.  ❞

❝ This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out.  ❞

❝ There are things that tie them to a place, very much like they do to us. ❞

❝ Will you still like to know my thoughts? ❞

❝ The aches that you describe with such earnestness, the pain, the loss. ❞

❝ In fact, you only seem to know what other writers tell. ❞

❝ You clearly have not lived it at all. ❞

❝ Where I come from, ghosts are not to be taken lightly. ❞

❝ You are nothing but a SPOILED CHILD! ❞

❝ What do you dream of? A kind man? A pure soul to be redeemed? Perfection? ❞

❝ I advise you to return to your ghosts and fancies. ❞

❝ A house as old as this one becomes, in time, a living thing. ❞

❝ It starts holding onto things… keeping them alive when they shouldn’t be. ❞

❝ Some should never be spoken about again. ❞

❝ You will stay here, with us… won’t you?  ❞

❝ A man that feeds off land that others work for him. ❞

❝ This parasite is perfectly charming and a magnificent dancer. ❞

❝ I cannot leave you here. ❞

❝ I find myself thinking about you even at the most inopportune moments of the day. ❞

❝ I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. ❞

❝ The first time I saw one I was ten years old. ❞

❝ There were to be no parting kisses. No goodbyes. No last words. ❞

❝ You lied to me! ❞

❝ You poisoned me! ❞

❝ You said you loved me! ❞

❝ I’ve always closed my eyes to things that made me uncomfortable. ❞

❝ I don’t want to close my eyes. I want to keep them open. ❞

❝ It makes everything easier. ❞

❝ I heard you the first time. ❞

❝ It’s an excellent likeness. ❞

❝ The more the house sinks, the worse it gets. ❞

❝ Goodness. How many rooms are there? ❞

❝ We must do something about it.  ❞

❝ Others that hold onto an emotion. A drive. Loss. Revenge. Or love. ❞

❝ The spilling of blood. A terrible crime. ❞

❝ I don’t know. Would you like to count them? ❞

❝ Do we have to do this? Must we? ❞

❝ She stopped drinking her tea, but I poisoned the porridge. ❞

❝ That’s exactly what our mother told us in her last moment. ❞   

❝ This is your home now. You have nowhere else to go. ❞

❝ Perfection has no place in love, [Name]. ❞

❝ You know precious little of the human heart, or love, or the pain that comes with it. ❞

❝ I can’t. I can’t. ❞

❝ This place is hundreds years old. Souls come and go. ❞

❝ Some of them are good; some of them bad… ❞

❝ You insist on describing the torments of love when you know NOTHING about them. ❞

❝ I’M NOT DONE YET! ❞

❝ How do you manage this house? ❞

❝ Actually, I’d rather be Mary Shelly; she died a widow. ❞

❝ Perfection has no place in love. ❞

❝ Perhaps we only notice things when the time comes for us to see them. ❞

❝ In [Country] we bank on effort, not privilege. ❞

❝ The men at this table, all of us, came up through honest, hard work. ❞

❝ Well, maybe not all of us. [Name] here is a [Occupation].  ❞

❝ If there’s one thing I know, it’s the importance of the right tool for the job. ❞

❝ I’m a builder, dear. ❞

❝ Everyone falls in love, dear, even women. ❞

❝ There are things that tie them to a place.   ❞

❝ The marriages were for money, of course. ❞

❝ You need a measure of bitterness… Not to be eaten.. ❞

❝ Nothing gentle ever grows in this land. ❞

❝ My heart would cease to beat and I would die. ❞

❝ I won’t stop… until you kill me… or I kill you! ❞

❝ So it’s all out in the open. No more secrets! ❞  

❝ I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. And should that link be broken either by distance or by time, then my heart would cease to beat and I would die. ❞

[offulcrumarchive]

send them to @ofaviatrix too!! 

[offulcrumarchive]

‘ if you don’t get some sleep soon, you’ll make yourself sick. ’

cassian was lost somewhere in the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind. he had awoken in the tender hours of morning, when the sky was still flecked with stars, and thoughts of his most recent mission had kept him awake. it had been like this since his return, since he had touched down in yavin iv nearly a week ago, but he tried his damnedest to stave off his exhaustion. he hadn’t wanted to worry jyn. 

he realized now, however, that he’d been a fool to think that she wouldn’t catch on. she knew the rhythm of his breathing too well to be tricked. the sound of her voice brought him back, reminding him of the present, and he twisted to face her. “i’m alright––” he lied, and then corrected himself just as quickly. “i’ve tried. i just...” cassian blew out a breath. “i keep getting lost in the memories.” cassian didn’t like to share his weaknesses, he didn’t want to give anyone information to be used against him, but jyn wouldn’t. he trusted her. 

“i see their faces whenever i close my eyes.” it was the truth, the ugly truth, but he knew that she would understand. she had not been unaffected by the things she had done to survive. he breathed out a long, slow breath. “i didn’t mean to wake you. go back to sleep. i’ll be alright.” there was no use dragging her into this. there was nothing that jyn could do.

[offulcrumarchive]

❝ not listening ! la la-la la la ! ❞ fROM ORION hsjdklfha

dark eyes narrowed to dangerous slivers. he was used to scolding orion, she and gael needed constant reminders about their behavior during his training sessions, but this was getting out of hand. it was his own fault. cassian knew better than to pick favorite students, they always knew their status and pushed their luck, and ultimately they’d end up dead or a disappointment. 

he would be damned if she ended up the same way. 

like him or not, cassian needed to make sure that she knew everything required of a rebel. today’s lesson was too important for this sort of silliness. she was a pilot, so she wasn’t in his classes as often now as she’d once been, but he was training a handful of pilots on the rebellion procedures for evading capture. pilots, they knew, were especially prone to being captured should their ships go down. if anything happened to her –– cassian refused to finish the thought. 

“challis,” cassian snarled, “get it together or get out.” gael blinked up at him, apparently surprised by cassian’s tone, but he was unmoving. 

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‘ if you don’t get some sleep soon, you’ll make yourself sick. ’

she was right. exhaustion was written in every line of cassian’s features, in the way that his shoulders slumped forward, in faint ache at the tips of his fingers, and he knew that it was time to rest. but how could he possibly rest when there was so much work to be done? there were rumors of something awful, something so terrible that his informants scattered when he asked them about it. planet killer. "i can’t stop,” he told her. there was a strange, uncharacteristic fraying in his tone, as if cassian was threatening to tear loose of his spy persona and shatter there on the floor. he set his jaw, forced his shoulders back, and shook his head firmly. this time, his voice was even and unemotional. “there’s too much work to do, brynn. i need to make sure it’s done or the empire will get the best of us.” this was dire. he could feel it in his bones. act now or risk defeat at the hands of the empires fleets. he glanced toward her and forced the faintest of smiles. “quit worrying. i’ve survived with less sleep.” true, perhaps, but he wasn’t sure that he would survive this time.

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nick(name)s: cleo (irl i go by liz)  gender: cis female sign: capricorn, i used to hate this sign when i was younger. i was not organized, i was not practical, and i didn’t feel like i fit the ambition that is so central in capricorns. as an adult who has apparently matured into her sign, wow now i see it. height:  5′6″ (actually 5′5.5″ but we round up)  sexuality: i’m not sure whether i’m bisexual or heteroflexible, but regardless i think men are handsome but that women are beautiful too? sexuality is a very complicated construct.  hogwarts house: slytherin. this is another one of those things that i had to grow into. as a kid i was pretty sure that ie was more of a gryffindor, but lo and behold, i am a slytherin time and time again when i take the test. i’m very much shrewd, ambitious, self-preserving, and honestly family and family opinion matters a lot to me so it fits. i’d have sold you all off to voldemort if my mom told me to, lbr. favorite animal: horse!!  average hours of sleep: during the school year i average 6 hours or so? during the summer it’s more like 7 or 8. i would like more, but i like being awake late at night and feel guilty about my life choices if i sleep in too late so sleep takes a back seat. number of blankets i sleep with: three, i probably need to invest in a weighted blanket because the more they weigh the better i sleep.  dream trip: ughhh i wanna go to greece so bad but also amsterdam and the south of france looks fun dream job: national geographic explorer or photographer, animal researcher (think jane goodall), horse whisperer,  when i made this account: this account has been recycled a billion times over, but this specific use of the account is only about a month old? maybe?  why i made this account: i made this blog to keep roleplaying cassian with my spark friends, and then gael came, and now i’m doing silly trash things like this instead of doing my replies. whoops.  followers: three or some shit, this blog is a secret. tagged by: @sunveiins​ tagging: @remncnts​ and @kyberborne​

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MUSE BODY LANGUAGE !

DEFENSIVENESS :

arms  crossed  on  chest /  crossing  legs  /  fist - like  gestures  /  pointing  index  finger /  karate  chops   /  stiffening  of  shoulders  /  tense  posture  /  curling  of  lip  /  baring  of  teeth

REFLECTIVE :

hand - to - face  gestures / head  tilted /  stroking  chin  /  peering  over  glasses  /  taking  glasses  off  —  cleaning  /  putting  earpiece  of  glasses  in  mouth  /  pipe  smoker  gestures  /  putting  a  hand  to  the  bridge  of  the  nose  /  pursed  lips  /  knitted  brows

SUSPICION :

arms crossed  / sideways  glance  /  touching  or  rubbing  nose  /  rubbing  eyes  /  hands  resting  on  weapon /  raised  brows  /  lips  pressing  into  a  thin  line  /  strict  ,  unwavering  eye  contact  /  wrinkled  nose

OPENNESS & COOPERATION :

open  hands  /  upper  body  in  sprinters  position  /  sitting  on  the  edge  of  a  chair  /  hand - to - face  gestures /  unbuttoned  coat  /  tilted  head  /  slacked  shoulders /  droopy  posture  /  feet  pointed  outward  /  palms  flat  and  facing  outward

CONFIDENCE :

hands  behind  back  /  hands  on  lapels  of  coat  /  steepled  hands  / baring  teeth  in  a  grin /  rolling  shoulders  /  tipping  head  back  but  maintaining  eye  contact  /  chest  puffed  up  /  shoulders  back  / arms  folded  just  above  navel

INSECURITY & ANXIETY :

chewing  pen  or  pencil  /  rubbing  thumbs  /  biting  fingernails  /  hands  in  pockets  /  elbows  bent /  closed  gestures  /  clearing  throat  /  “whew”  sound  /  picking  or  pinching  flesh  /  fidgeting  in  chair  /  hand  covering  mouth  whilst  speaking  /  poor  eye  contact  /  tugging  at  pants  whilst  seated  /  jingling  money  in  pockets  /  tugging  at  ear  /  perspiring  hands  /  playing  with  hair  / swaying  /  playing  with  pointer  /  smacking  lips  / sighing  /  rocking  on  balls  of  feet  / flexing  fingers  sporadically

FRUSTRATION :

short  breaths  / “tsk”  sounds  /  tightly - clenched  hands /  fist - like  gestures  /  pointing  index  finger  / running  hand  through  hair  /  rubbing  back  of  neck  / snarling /  revealing  teeth  / grimacing  /  tension  in  the  brows /  shoulders  back  ,  head  up  -  defensive  posturing  /  clenching  of  jaw  / grinding  teeth  / flared  nostrils /  heavy  exhales

TAGGED: @kyberborne​ TAGGING: @remncnts​ and @sunveiins​ (i know you were already tagged, but here we are)

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kyberborne

cassian was not one for extravagant displays of emotion, but jyn had known him long enough where she could read most of the small flashes that crossed his face. in general, he wasn’t too expressive –– he was a spy, after all; he didn’t need all of those feelings. his smile, though small and faint, and the crinkles around his eyes made her heart swell. in response, she grinned brilliantly, feeling as if her face was going to split in two with the force of it. cheekily, and completely ignoring the fact that he was standing in front of one of his superior officers, she leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “i missed you, cass,” she murmured into his ear, before going back down and rocking back on her heels, a faint red coloring blooming on her cheeks that wasn’t due to the cold alone.

at his question, she sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. she knew that he was only worried –– and when the roles were reversed and he was the one coming back, she was just as bad, if not worse –– and because she had a tendency to lie about these kind of things, her word on the matter often wouldn’t ease his mind. she didn’t blame him. there were plenty of missions where she had stumbled off of her ship barely alive, skipping the medbay in favor of seeing him. despite that, this time she was actually telling the truth about the extent of her injuries. “both,” she said with a shrug, leaning back on her heels to stretch out her legs, “but i don’t need to go to medical or anything.”

as cassian talked to the commander, she leaned up against him, swaying slightly on her feet. exhaustion hit her in waves, threatening to make her fall asleep standing up. when cassian was dismissed, she let out a heavy sigh of relief. if he had duties, she would have understood, but she wanted to spend time with him and had been worried she would have fallen asleep before he could have gotten back. “come on,” she urged, tugging on his arm and starting to walk. “you should take the rest of the afternoon off.”

she had been just another mission once. he’d poured through information about jyn erso and liana hallik and tanith ponta with as much personal interest as he did any other mission. he didn’t care who she was, where she’d come from, or why she was imprisoned on wobani, all that mattered was what she could do for the rebellion. but there was something in that first fight together on jedha, in the way that she’d laid out those storm troopers one by one. dizziness? warning? invigoration? even now he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but he’d known right then and there that something about her was different. 

how right he’d been. 

this man, the one that accepted gentle kisses and offered the faintest of smiles, was a stranger to everyone on hoth. he’d shown glimpses of caring, of kindness, of brokenness in the past, but certainly not to this extent. “missed you too,” cassian murmured. his voice was quiet, gentle, so low that she was the only one likely to hear it over the sounds of the mechanics working in the hangar and the blizzard ranging outside. for a moment, just for a moment, he’d let himself forget. for a moment, he was a man in love who’d gone too long without seeing his significant other. reality, however, was not so kind. seemingly at once, cassian snapped back into his usual persona. his spy face slipped easily into place, impassive and unimpressed, and he glanced at his commander. the man’s discomfort was evident, but there was the faintest hint of amusement there too. this was fodder for another time. kriff, he had to be more careful. 

after a few more words, he’d been dismissed and cassian, too, sighed. he couldn’t afford to be so careless, not anywhere. it wasn’t likely that the rebellion would use jyn against him, but there was always a chance. for now, cassian pushed the thought from his mind and followed along after jyn with a slow, striding gait. there was work to be done, but it had been weeks since they’d been alone together. hell, they’d hardly gotten more than a passing glance at one another in ages. the war, the one he’d been fighting for the vast majority of his life, had only become more intensive. once they entered the hallway, cassian traced the familiar steps back to the room they shared. using his keycard, he opened it easily, stepped inside. it was silly, and he knew it, but he couldn’t wait to be alone with her. he couldn’t wait to feel her close again. “come ‘ere,” he murmured, opening his arms as soon as the door was closed behind her. oh, how he’d missed this.