I Warn You Dear Child

The Queen of Hearts She made some tarts, All on a summer's day; The Knave of Hearts He stole those tarts, And took them clean away. The King of Hearts Called for the tarts, And beat the knave full sore; The Knave of Hearts Brought back the tarts, And vowed he'd steal no more.

[milakunis1983-deactivated201208]

[paceofbase]

[a-gorgeous-george]

I survived the cat debate of 2012....

[a-gorgeous-george]

Its only the responsible thing to do.  We can’t have anyone calling you Granny or NaNa or MawMaw… I bet I have some idea.  I don’t call you Man Eater for nothing, right? ;)  Solid decision making.  I have… noticed your stomach in some of your pictures a time or two, yes.  Would be a shame.  AND you get to cut out all the annoying baby and child years of raising him.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

I fear for whoever gets called MawMaw... That's a god awful nickname to give your grandmother. Oh lord, don't get any ideas there Lover Boy. You're too young for me. Glad we're on the same page then. My stomach is flawless. Exactly! All I have to do is make sure he doesn't reproduce.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Oliver, you should stay with a friend tonight.

[not-a-pussy---cat]

In my suitcase, like he usually is.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Last night he tried to attack my toes...what's up with that cat and suitcases?

[laurentsbitch]

[everyrohasherthorns]

Oh um. Sure. I’m Aurora by the way.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

I'll let you know when I'm going next then. Margaret, but call me Eliza. It's my middle name.

[swagity]

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Oliver, you should stay with a friend tonight.

[not-a-pussy---cat]

I’m the cat saver!  Good luck.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

I guess you are. Speaking of cats...where's Ninja?

[not-so-smoothcriminal-deactivat]

Guess who's awake!

[not-so-smoothcriminal-deactivat]

Uh…I mean..well um…sharing is caring they say. Heh.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

[boom-babay-blog]

Understandable. Most girls have that same effect after conversations with me.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

You are mind numbly boring.

[nightbeforelifegoesonn]

[sotwisted--jafar-deactivated201]

Ah, New York. A wonderful place….from television of course. I’ve always wanted to go there on my many travels. Wow. Impressive. If it counts…my family is the second wealthiest in Agrabah…behind the Sultan and his family of course. The Heart Estate…haven’t heard of it, although I was in Paris…I should have. Well at least someone does. Feels great to be appreciated. We really don’t. But my bluntness is enough for at least 10 people, no worries. My stature, you say? I won’t understand. And he has to..you’re his mommy, haha.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Well, I can take you there some time. I'm sure my dad won't care if I used my jet..he only cut off his spending on me. Not me spending on myself and others. Agrabah? I've heard about that place, is it gorgeous there? I think it counts. I do say. You're very.....I don't think there's a word for your stature other than...manly? Oh lord, he's been calling me mom lately.

[laurentsbitch]

[everyrohasherthorns]

Yes ma’am. They do. Flowers were a nice pick me up.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

That they are, would you want to go on a spa day sometime? No one is ever willing to come with me and by no one I mean Oliver.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Oliver, you should stay with a friend tonight.

[not-a-pussy---cat]

Oh… him.  You better love his cat, I saved it from Japan and gave it to him.  Yes, I am.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

So, I've been told. You are not, I'll just go ask Jafar to introduce me.

[a-gorgeous-george]

I survived the cat debate of 2012....

[a-gorgeous-george]

Right.  I’m sure he has absolutely no interest in sex.  I mean, biology schmiology, right?  Oh yes, I bet you were a bad girl as a teenager.  Total praying mantis.  I’m almost 17.

And, can I just say, if you have a 16 yr old son, kudos to your surgeon.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

I'm sure he does...but if I catch him fucking that girlfriend of his then I'll be getting him every kind of contraception imaginable. I'm too young to be a grandma. Way too young. You have no idea. Tapped some ass in my twenty-four years. Oh, I adopted him. No way am I getting pregnant. Fuck that shit. Have you seen my stomach? Too amazing to ruin.

[fish-bowled-blog]

Oh God...I'm in so much pain.

[fish-bowled-blog]

Yes, since I was three… and yeah I’ve never experienced stuff like this either. I’ll go to the nurse or something when I can move again. Anyways…you dance? What styles?

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

That's wonderful. That you should. I can take you if you'd like. I do indeed. Ballet is my only. My father made me when I was five and hasn't let up. What about you?

[laurentsbitch]

[everyrohasherthorns]

No, he’s not usually, but he’s got his moments.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Every girl needs a boost every now and then.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Oliver, you should stay with a friend tonight.

[not-a-pussy---cat]

Am not!  Great… who?  Well there’s no one to show.  Stop bringing up the fact that I’m alone in the world.

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

His name was Jafar. He's really sweet and quite interesting. I'm in love with his cat. Oliver, stop it. You are not.

[not-so-smoothcriminal-deactivat]

Guess who's awake!

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

[not-so-smoothcriminal-deactivat]

W-what?!

[offwiththeir-heads-blog]

Thought I'd share.