I need to makeup with him properly.
Otogi knew lately he’d been a horrible partner. His jealousy and inferiority had blinded him of what was important to him. Jonouchi always fought for their relationship despite all his insecurities, he stayed. He reassured him. But what have he done in return aside from make him doubt himself. Doubt their relationship.
A sigh left his lips, he knocked on the door of the yankee. His expression filled with remorse as he waited to face him. The moment, he say he face, he tried his best not let his emotions get the better of him.
❝Katsuya, I’ve been such an asshole lately. It wasn’t your fault. But I guess I’m still feel too inferior to Kaiba and seeing how you two get along. I’m afraid that you might find him better than me. I mean he’s rich, he got power, and well, I guess you find something about that poor fashion and dull hair cut of his. So I felt in comparison, I got nothing to offer you. ❞
It took so much power for him not break down in tears. He never cried. And he shouldn’t. Even though, Jonouchi cried for him. What right would he have if he done the same?
❝I hope you can forgive me and give me another chance to make it up to you…❞ He took his hand, intertwined his fingers with his. ❝ I’m sorry. And I do what I can to not hurt you anymore. ❞
𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒 ⸺ so he simply distracted himself with work. More odd jobs, more time outside the apartment they shared. The consistent fighting and back-and-forth had come to a point where he mentally checked out. It festered foul memories that dated back to his youth and ultimately back to when his family fell apart. Many times he felt tempted to choose the BOTTLE over reality, but the voice inside him ( struggling to keep his head above water ) screamed :
I don't wanna be like him ! I ain't gonna be anythin' like him !
It took everything in him not to ball his fist and strike whatever he could to numb out the voices. He found himself retreating for minutes to hours in the bathroom, sobbing beneath the running faucet ⸺ so that he wouldn't be heard.
I wanna be strong ⸺ I have to be !
Chewing on his lip, he seethed, head pressed against the ivory sink. He hated everything as it stands ... everything that he caused. But he couldn't take his feelings beyond the door. He couldn't bring his emotional baggage along when he clocked in to work. Cleaning his face and combing a hand through his hair so that he could make himself appear like something presentable, he takes a breather and opens the bathroom door.
There's no expectation he'd speak with Otogi again today. They haven't been speaking for quite some time. He didn't want to push anything nor add any fuel to the fire they've sparked. Making it down the hall, he reached for his denim jacket off the clothing rack and swooped his wallet off the shelf. Just as he's ready to escape his world of troubles, he's confronted by it.
He turns to face the owner of the voice, dejected ... shrunken. Looking him in the eye was more hurtful than it was attentive. By now, he expected the Harlequin reach his limit and was finally ready to express he was sick of him. But, the words that escaped Otogi was opposite of that; it sounds reflective ... heartfelt. As he listened, bewilderment was replaced with concern by the origin of these words.
Otogi was wealthy ( wealthier than the rest of their crew ); he was sharp-minded and handsome beyond his faintest comprehension. There are many things Jonouchi was jealous of Otogi over, so he couldn't fathom why he'd waste so much time and effort believing he couldn't amount to anything less than the best.
He certainly could have done better than choose a guy like him ... rowdy, ill-mannered, spontaneous ...
❛ No, ❜ spoke the blond, taking a reluctant step forward. ❛ None of dis is your fault. We both have our issues, and I think we should probably talk 'em over if we plan to move past this. ❜
Of course he forgave him. He loved him more than the air he breathed. To better control his impulses of grabbing the other and pulling him into an embrace, he merely opened his arms ⸺ giving the other the option of CHOICE. If he wasn't ready just yet, that was fine. At least their words were heard. And if he did accept his embrace, he'd seal it with a kiss to the brow and a promise :
❛ I'll be home early, and we can do somethin' nice for your birthday comin' up. ❜
Even if it's just breaking out the old DVD collection, popping some popcorn and sharing a blanket ⸺ it's his comfort that counts.