but i feel celestial

penned by 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 for 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐪.

[ofshampain]

CLOSED STARTER — CIARAN FINNEGAN ( @scftbreeze​ )

“i can’t believe i’m the first to think of actually staying for a while,” lux said of her fellow true-crime aficionados, swirling the froth of her cappuccino with an expression of thought crossing her red-painted lips. 

“like,” she drew breath, once the swirling patterns were to her liking, and took a long sip of the drink before she continued on with her excitable verbal onslaught, eyes sparkling with sheer and ferocious joy, “wouldn’t you think more people would take that challenge? be daring. go hard or go home. i’ve been here barely any time at all, and i’ve found my real life mystery incorporated gang of my dreams. so it’s just fate at this point, right? my estranged family i found about just now that i’m not even allowed to admit it to yet — at the behest of a policeman with an enviable jawline and bona fide fanfiction blue eyes, apparently — a real crime investigation gang, and a gold mine of cold cases? can you believe i thought my life was meant to be in france?”

[ofshampain]

shatteredhope​:

“hearing,” confirmed polly as he listened to her words. he sucked his teeth and shook his head. “god.” the pure height of the injustice hit him and he was floored. “how could they do that? that’s just not right and rude, but,” he did have a counter offer, “it is an excellent addition to the office playlist that i am,” he pulled his phone out. his sentence was cut off as he typed and fussed with his phone. “added right now." 

( at least polly was one of the very few that knew the real purpose of their jobs, and he could relate to her in that regard. really, he should not be working for an organization like they did, but it’s what happened when you were too smart for your own good. )

“you’re doing this just because i will get very annoyed every time i hear it, right?” roman shifted hair out of her face, frowning curiously as she saw the sheer appalling nature of the fact hit her co-worker and friend, and yet, he was deciding the fish and wildlife office would support this via spotify streams? it was profoundly scandalous, of course, and for a half-second the pure surprise registered on her features — mouth slack — before she caught herself. do better, ridley. “i can’t decide is the better scissor sisters song anyway. you know, because it was in that scene from doctor who. wait, have any of you actually seen doctor who or am i going to have to initiate a tv series crisis binge in the office tomorrow as a matter of supreme urgency?”

a sneaking suspicion would indicate that ‘supreme urgency’ was not the view the higher-ups would take if they found out that was a fish and wildlife day at work. yet a ‘safety valve’ was urgently needed to keep them from imploding in the current panic, and perhaps a trip or fifty in the tardis would be perfect for that.

[ofshampain]

foggedgrief​:

the  pointed  together  did  not  escape  laz  in  the  slightest.  granted  you  would  have  had  to  have  been  blind  and  sophia  probably  saw  him  that  way  for  choosing  his  career  over  her  mother.  even  though  that  had  never  been  his  intention  and  he’d  allowed  her  to  slip  through  his  fingers.  he  sincerely  thought  he  didn’t  deserve  her  because  of  his  inaction.  but  that  meant  that  he  wasn’t  the  only  person  who  suffered  and  while  he  recognized  that,  he  didn’t  quite  know  how  to  ask  for  their  forgiveness.  or  if  he  truly  was  worthy  of  it.  

they  deserved  better  and  he  knew  that.  he  wanted  to  give  them  that  and  instead  of  focusing  on  his  family,  he  focused  on  his  job,  and  while  his  job  did  good  things  for  other  people,  it  did  nothing  but  tear  him  to  pieces.  ice  cream  and  skipping  rocks  was  not  what  he  on  the  agenda  when  sophia  suggested  they  do  something  together  and  between  the  two  of  them  he  smiled  gently.  his  heart  ached  that  he  gave  this  up  and  he  gently  takes  sophia’s  hand  and  said,  ❛  well,  i’m  thinking  we  should  all  go  bowling.  ❜  dessert  for  dinner  was  also  on  the  table  but  that  felt  like  a  run  that  by  annie  first  kind  of  thing.  ❛  but  you’re  going  to  have  to  promise  to  go  easy  on  me.  i  can  tell  just  by  looking  at  you  that  you’ve  got  an  expert  bowling  arm.  ❜

glancing  up  at  annie,  the  smile  widening  just  a  bit,  more  hopeful  now,  he  asked,  ❛  what  do  you  say  ?  want  to  see  if  i  can  finally  beat  you  in  a  game  ?  ❜

deserve. it connected antigone & sebastian even when the separation was over and done, a join that could not be severed ( much like love, though that was probably something that shouldn’t be said out loud, and neither could bring themselves to do so anyway ) was that they felt undeserving. they felt insufficient, for their daughter, and for each other both; and it was all that annie could do to try and remedy one, as she thought it impossible — if his incessant working reflected anything, and that made sense to her — to remedy the other. and that meant, yes, that she slipped away and tried to protect sophia as best she could from the pain of not-present parents. 

at least on one count, she’d managed. and on the second count, she’d mitigated. balanced.

and that was why annie, though she could’ve succeeded in the career of her daydreams — not directing, but being the broadway star herself, the soprano shining ( because most lead roles were written for them: hence ‘everybody hates sopranos’ ) — gave that thought up. because the one she loved had a career with the fbi, there were to be no auditions or stumbling-blocks or questions, and it was demanding of his time; the thought of their daughter being raised by help ( however affordable ) settled discomfort and dare she say disgust within her, so there was no question that she’d have to let go of one dream or the other. and so, she’s never been on broadway. when she looks at sophia now, all fierceness and brawn and bared teeth, she can’t find it in herself to regret it one bit, especially when the reason for divorce vindicated that decision. 

“i can already tell you — you can’t,” annie managed to pull together a smile. but really, she was looking at him — the beard, the shadows under his eyes, the suit, even now; he wore them well, but the sebastian lazzaro she fell in love with would’ve hated every minute — and wondering what had become of them. she watched sophia, too, how the girl’s fingers curled tight around her father’s as though she could keep him there forever if she just didn’t let go. “but yes, alright. let’s try.”

of course, she couldn’t blame laz for the changes; you only had to look at her, more carefully made-up than ever to hide sleepless nights and tear-tracks, just so people might not ask ‘are you alright?’ to understand why not. not that annie had ever been capable of blaming that face for much at all — the only thing she blamed him for was prioritising his work over his child. and the hope in his smile just proved how happy they could’ve been. should she have fought harder? could she have fought harder? 

that so-gentle smile; oh, how she still loved him. oh, how she wished they could return to the days when she threw herself into his arms and he picked her up, spun her around, and kissed her until she lost her breath, giggling until her ribs ached with mirth. but for the past almost-year, they’d been more likely to ache with sobs. and even the happier times had a way of becoming tainted once she realised that the ache felt the same, either way.

sophia reached with her other hand for annie’s, and joined them once again. 

“go on,” she prompted, softly, eyes drifting between laz and their grinning child, “you’ve both got that look. you want to ask me something you’re not sure i’ll agree to, but you’ve decided to ask anyway, so you might as well.”

( perhaps by now she should’ve asked after him. asked if he was alright, as she so concernedly asked after others. just about everyone else in pinehaven, in fact. but everything came with a generous helping of work with her ex-husband, and she had a policy of not talking to him about his work, because she’d resented it for a long time and wanted to make that obvious. that there was a problem with his priorities. and in light of the divorce maybe she ought to have given up that policy, for as long as he kept to the custody agreement & sophia was happy, what did it have to do with her? yes, she ought to. but in a small, pained and petty way, she couldn’t do it. )

[ofshampain]

ofunexpecteds​:

He could hear the serious tone of her voice ( realizing that if he dared go into the woods alone, she would likely drag his sorry ass out by the ear before giving him quite the talk down ), but that didn’t stop him from entertaining the idea. Theodore had only been there a year compared to Roman’s thirty five — and while he might have been entirely naive upon his arrival, that had been very quick to change. And while the thought of her traipsing through the woods alone spiked his heart rate up rather considerably ( as did the thought of any of his coworkers daring such a feat ), he still couldn’t help but feel frustrated. A year he’d been there, and they’d gotten no closer to getting answers or saving lives then they had from the day he’d rolled into town. It felt like their options were being exhausted rather quickly, and with the FBI showing up, it seemed the pressure was truly on.

Snatching up her hand as it began to withdraw from his own, he rose it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Yes ma’am.” It was said in a rather mocking tone, but he meant it seriously. He wasn’t stupid enough to put any of them at risk ( and if he were to venture into the woods alone, the others would be entirely ignorant of the fact and otherwise terribly preoccupied ).

Releasing his grasp on her, his gaze return to the mug of coffee on his desk. “Well if the woods are out —  at least for now, perhaps a trap.” He muttered in thought. “Those two already have a mutant bunny. Why not see if we can’t get something a bit… bigger?” Send it back to HQ, have it contained and studied. “Granted it the FBI starts poking around the woods and finds it, they’re likely to end up at our front door.”

for a few moments, roman watched him in muted silence; considering him, thoughtful, as though for the first time seeing theodore reed for who he really was. as though those observational moments had — like jigsaw-pieces — finally clicked together, and the picture was ( at long last ) right. if thirty-five years in pinehaven taught her anything, it was to be wary of outsiders and the understanding they believed they had after a relatively short time spent in the town; a confidence spawned by the fact they thought they knew it. a year he’d been here, yes, but some people — roman — had dedicated their lives to solving a phenomenon that permanently haunted them, and they were beyond frustrated. 

“i mean it,” refusing to allow herself to be led to amusement by his blase mockery, she retracted her arm back to her side. preoccupying her entirely was not so easy as one might believe, and particularly where the woods were concerned those who’d had to deal with her believed she had a sixth sense. or a third eye. or eyes in the back of her head: the rumours differed amongst those with experience. roman sucked in a breath and listened to her fellow agent, rolling her eyes at the reference to count buncula. as she always did when he — it? — was brought up, but a trap — for both larger animals and the federal bureau of investigation — was irresistible. “the fbi, at our door? a delicious concept — wouldn’t you pay for that?” 

after all, roman never liked the fbi. never had. the covert organisation known as fish & wildlife had certainly taken its chances with her when she was still very young ( her linguistic skills got her the edge ) and it meant she’d never had to endure working for them. she’d known some people get “promoted” and it was these promotees who were the most insufferable of the lot. she paused. 

“we could go looking,” she mused, “together. before they organise themselves too much and start getting in our way; annie finnegan’s ex-husband and his lot.”

[shatteredhope]

@ofshampain​ // kiah x roman // early morning

 kiah was trying to get context for the town. there was so much that he just didn’t understand, but he so desperately wanted to. there was no way for him to get answers if he didn’t have all the base facts to make his foundation solid. he was going to head over to the library for the local archives after this meeting, but he figured that fish and wildlife would have information on the uniqueness of the forest, they should have those answers. if only he knew what he was really walking into. 

it was set up so on the surface, no one would know the difference between what it actually was and what it was making a play at being, so kiah had no idea this would be anything else than what it was. he was thoroughly surprised though to see roman ridley, a woman he was vaguely familiar with, but that was just from the exuberant amount of money both of their families had. 

“well, i’ll be damned,” he laughed a little, “it’s roman ridley as i breathe. how have you been?” it’s been maybe? ten years or so since they saw each other last, but kiah had a talent for faces and names. 

[ofshampain]

“jedekiah blackwood, in this town?” roman squinted as she re-appeared — it was early, work-in-comfort hours, before the others piled into “fish & wildlife” to fervently ( and now, of course, anxiously ) discuss all the things not part of the arranged facade the other perceived — she had been putting her bike helmet beneath the desk when he arrived. the ridleys’ daughter couldn’t look further from the old english money she was born into; other hand still on the desk curled around her first coffee of the day to down it as she straightened, still hot. 

and yet, on whichever sparse occasions she saw the south carolinian, it seemed her accent became more pronounced — she never knew why, but it always had; perhaps because the ridley parents were so keen on their own british enunciations — and she made a face even as it fell from her lips, “have i had not enough sleep, too much to drink, or both? isn’t this—” meaning pinehaven — “a little, you know, back-water for you?”

not that whether he was here or not here impacted much upon roman beyond the startling presence that reminded her of the privilege she’d tried to ( mostly ) disavow beyond setting up large donations to charities, helping out her friends, funding their more insane investigations and the occasional — by that occasional truly is meant — treat. 

she chuckled, and shook her head with as much of a cynical smirk as she could muster, “just fuckin’ dandy,” she replied, “about as much as everyone else here. you should see the cross-outs on the town sign — even the animals get spooked, so we end up with a menagerie of accidental work-family adoptions.” 

[ofshampain]

shatteredhope​:

cas knew that there was a sadness in her heart, but he mused that most artists do. at least though, they had the kinship with each other. there was so much sadness in this town, that sometimes you just had to pretend things were okay and take the distractions where they came, and make your own sunshine. that’s what he told himself, and that at least kept him sane for long enough. he wouldn’t even begin to comment on her family, he knew what a bitter wound that could be. he was just looking for brief sunshine. 

he popped into the office fully and took a seat on what was available. he wasn’t good, not really, but he could pretend he was for the length of this conversation. make your own sunshine, he told himself. “just peachy,” he said with a smile, but he laughed a little. “i don’t expect you to feed my annie, i’m an adult,” was he? “but whatcha got in the way of drinks?”

just peachy, he said, and intrinsically annie knew that was a lie. she wasn’t sure he had ever told her this at a time that it had been true, and this was a piece of information she likewise wasn’t sure what to do with. letting it slide clashed with her protective instinct — the mother in her that had been strong for some time now; so present, perhaps because she was determined to be so for her daughter, not a half-there ghost like her own mother — but being confrontational would likely lead to a discussion about hypocrisy and / or her own state, which was ( at the end of the day ) just as unpreferable. if cas, or indeed anyone, wanted to speak on their feelings they would, and it was all she could do to forge an environment that espoused such comfort and openness. 

making sunshine, as he would call it, allowing it to filter through the theatre windows and bask them in light and a warmth like absolution. 

there was a sadness in her heart, but yes, most artists did, and she was happy to blame it on that: the tragedy of the creative mind never quite understood, the sadness that bled from the words and was everywhere, everywhere. perhaps with the play choice she had tried to chase that sadness away, drive it to a corner: dry powder, making private equity funny. jenny, the kind of woman who was strong but whom you would never want to be, your thatcher-type who reminded you that your emotions — however painful they were when they thrummed beneath your skin — were what humanised you. 

‘allow less intelligent people to hate you,’ jenny trilled in ofelia’s voice somewhere ( and there are moments where annie wonders where the role ends and the woman begins ) in annie’s mind and across the hallway, ‘it is their destiny, and costs you nothing!’ 

“i know you don’t expect me to,” she returned his smile ( was he, she allowed herself to think, too, but she thought of most of pinehaven as her surrogate children if they would tolerate it ) and leant back slightly in her chair, “but i like to; you know this; makes me feel useful.” she hummed, “well, a whole variety of the alcoholic persuasion if you’re in a ‘it’s five o’clock somewhere’ mood. and basically any fruit juice or soda known to man if you’re not because the actors are hoarding menaces, plus a really fancy coffee machine for one of their coffee-snob italian friends — so basically, anything you like.”

[wxnjaes-deactivated20200912]

@ofshampain​ || roman & wonjae (closed)

It was way too late to be out there, Wonjae was way too aware of it; in the silence of the night every noise came back to him amplified, maybe even scary a little bit… But he usually dismissed those thoughts saying it’s just some animal messing around in the bushes or the wind was rustling between the leaves. Like it mattered anyway; his main issue was the fact that he couldn’t sleep again, and ran out of sleeping pills, so he had to resort to his usual late night activity - driving around in the woods.

Before heading out in his beat up Chevrolet Camaro though, he sent a message to the only person who never tried to keep him away from the woods - Roman. It was the usual “going 2 da woodz, will b waiting 4 u @ the usual spot” (yes, he’s 36 and he types like a fucking teenager, even though he’s painfully aware how tacky it is), before throwing his phone in the glovebox of his car, almost forgotten. He didn’t expect a reply at that point - to be honest he wouldn’t even step a foot in the forest without Roman at his side, and if she didn’t come he’d be fine with just hanging out in their spot listening to the same 6 songs on loop; but for now he was waiting, leaning to the side of his car, absentmindedly scratching at the already scratched paint on his car. It sure as hell could use a renovation some day…

[ofshampain]

roman ridley knew that the best way to ensure wonjae did something stupid in the woods would to be to try and keep him away from them; if she accompanied him, she could at least ensure that she didn’t lose yet another person she cared for to impromptu fog. it was her policy; of course, she’d prefer none of them risked it at all ( that was her own job ) but it was the same with theodore. ‘not without me, you’re not,’ had been her response when he’d suggested traipsing off into the woods to see what he could find. if she could do her best to keep as many of the few people she had room to care for safe, then roman could sleep better at night, couldn’t she? ‘better,’ not ‘well,’ was a specific choice: she’d gotten used to marielle belcourt’s warmth curled into her as she fell asleep ( regardless of where they’d spent the night before retiring to bed ) and it wasn’t as easy as she’d hoped to adjust. 

neither was the warmth of random people an effective substitute for the scent of her perfume mingling with the shampoo she so regularly stole from roman. so she hadn’t even been home that night. she’d still been at fish & wildlife when wonjae texted, the last one to leave, but she kept some of her own clothing there so she could change and be comfortable. hence how she appeared, ensconced in a too-big blue hoodie, a cigarette and lighter already in her hands as she got off her bike. 

“hey,” she grinned genuinely; there was the cap of a bottle of whiskey peeking out of the bag at her side, too, which also contained a torch and a cool knife she’d found that she intended to give to him. it was all familiar, all comforting; the music, the scratch-patterns in the car’s paint job ( each time she saw him she liked to trace the new ones with her nails; an odd addition to a piece of modern art, because if a woman’s messy bedroom could be art, why not a banged-up chevrolet that bore the signs of its ventures? ) and, of course, wonjae. “the pharmacy’s closed ‘cause the owner lost his wife, not so long ago, i heard. not-fog related, and she was a foul-mouthed bloody crone — was my landlady for my first apartment, a real screecher — but y’know. some people mourn. are you alright? other than the sleeping-pill withdrawal, obviously, which is a hard same.”

[brvkenpencils]

( OPEN !! )

          beatrice, didn’t anyone tell you not to run with a knife ??      the answer is yes, at some point, but she doesn’t go anywhere without one ( except for concerts, hockey games, and other places with metal detectors — a real bummer really ). in her defense it’s not like she’s got it in hand, just holstered against her arm along with her phone as she steady works down her typical four mile running route. with the stories that run in this town, it seems the smarter move to have something with her than NOT. part of her route loops into the fringe of the forest, still close enough to the town to make a hasty escape if need be. maybe she should have cut it out after the latest fog incident, but beatrice has always been the type to face things head on and not give an inch. and it’s BEAUTIFUL, just as her mother’s journal had said it to be. she’s paused, admiring the trees in their creepy, hulking glory — inspired for a moment — when she hears the tell-tale snap of a branch, something moving behind her. it’s almost REFLEX at this point, fingers firm against the hilt of the hidden blade. it doesn’t leave her hand, thankfully, as she realizes it’s no otherworldly monster — or even a bear — that’s come up behind her.     “ sorry —- ”     she straightens, the weapon still isn’t re-holstered.      “ —- bit on edge, i guess. ”

[ofshampain]

“sophia, i keep telling you not to go in the woods, you might run into—” once she caught her daughter by the shoulders, heart in her throat, annie was fully able to grasp the figure of beatrice and the blade that caught the little sunlight snaking through the trees — “jumpy adults with knives. not what i was going to say, but also still dangerous.”  

there had got to be something in the county legislation about carrying knives ( it seemed like a common-sense rule, after all, and one she’d ask rory or laz about, later ) but the theatre’s artistic director was far too relieved her daughter was safe to be angry. after all, in the current climate, everyone was on edge, everyone looking over their shoulders & checking on their families, listening for the dreaded bells. the woods had once had an allure for annie — they were quiet, an escape from the finnegans’ father’s wrath and their mother’s ambivalence to all of it — but once she was free of it, they had simply no longer appealed. 

she’d never enjoyed being a daredevil, always liked to be safe, and pinehaven’s woods were not so. “it’s alright,” she said ( it wasn’t, she could see visions of horrific things that had not come to pass but could have ) and exhaled a heavy breath. sprinting after sophia finnegan lazzaro was no easy feat. “i think we’re all wary right now. everyone’s okay, but if you could... put that back where it came from, that’d be wonderful.”

[pinehavenpeaches]

Samantha spent a lot of time at the bowling alley. Technically, her work week was forty hours (her boss would be damned to pay her overtime) but it was also the place she felt most comfortable. The familiar scents and sounds comforted her. And besides, she had to practice constantly. She would die if she were to lose her edge.

She wasn’t working now, but still when she saw someone throw a gutter ball, she just had to put her nose in. “It’s your grip that’s screwing you up,” she said to the other.

[ofshampain]

“i’ve never done this before,” theresa d’avila’s voice was soft, gently lilting upward at the end in a way that made her every statement sound inquisitive; the gentle innocence that few could believe ( the world was forged of cynics, now ) but that in the case of the church’s lieutenant was entirely genuine. there were a great many experiences tess had never had the pleasure — or not, she was undecided — of having, and of late her curiosity had been permitting her to dip her toes in the water, as it were. she found the many bright lights and constant chatterings very loud and side-tracking, but she did her best to adjust her grip to something more efficient and comfortable, eyes bright with hope for better. “if you don’t mind, how should i do it?”

[quietblues]

╰    ‘   a  closed  starter  for  levi  gabriel  .

(  @ofshampain​​  )

charlie’s eyes are restless, flicking around his surroundings in anticipation of her arrival and his fingertips tap rhythmically against the sides of his coffee cup. this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation to have — hell, he had wrestled with it himself all night and even then, he still wasn’t able to come to a solid conclusion. but he had figured he should at least give levi a heads up, not wanting her to feel blindsided. he knew how much this meant to her — to the both of them. as if on cue, charlie meets her gaze as she enters the cafe and his lips twitch into a meek, tired smile in greeting, hand raising slightly in a halfhearted gesture of waving her over. “ hey, it’s good to see you, ” he says softly, blue hues suddenly averted as she draws nearer. 

[ofshampain]

levi knew that restlessness was not a good sign. 

it reflected something deeper, something burning, writhing to come out lest it consume your body alive and screaming; and sometimes — as with the obsessive desire to solve the mysteries ( obscured by the fog ) within pinehaven’s woods — it was best to allow it to move your bones. like some kind of puppeteer that was part of you and yet beyond you, part of you and yet greater than you because it concerned another. others. brothers, sisters, children, mothers; people who had wandered the decaying high street of the town just the day before, who you smiled at because you’d known them since you were young and toddling but didn’t stop to talk to because you didn’t really know them, these abstract figures and side-characters of your story. and yet when they are gone, their absence feels... gaping. 

“morning, charlie,” she replied, barely managing to twitch the edges of her mouth into a tired smile, hands itching to rub at the dark circles long since formed beneath her eyes. instead, she just picked up her coffee. it was more than a burning, because she hadn’t just lost abstract figures or side-characters; she’d lost her mother, even if that relationship was more occasional than consistent. and then he couldn’t look at her, but that’ was common on her end. an expression of shame that as yet she has found nothing. but she had work at the town hall in an hour and a half, so she had to push through it. swim, not drown. “how are you?”

[shatteredhope]

@ofshampain​ // kiah & lux // mid-afternoon

 an empirical fact about kiah was that the man needed at least twelve shots of espresso a day to function. the man barely slept as it was, so he needed something to power through the day, and considering that he had been drink coffee since he was thirteen, the man had a tolerance built up. kiah was getting the afternoon dose of caffeine and taking a break to group his thoughts and summarize everything that’s happened. it was often moments like this when his best breakthroughs came to him. 

he was sitting at the coffee shop, really lost in his thoughts until a certain face caught his attention. he was confused for a second as to why. she wasn’t someone that he knew well, but then it hit him. she was a popular true crime youtuber that covered the many facets and storylines in the saga that surrounded his family. “shit,” he said under his breath. maybe… she would just leave him alone. “shit,” he said under his breath. 

[ofshampain]

an empirical fact about lux isabeau rosemarie marseille — other than the fact she no longer possessed her birth surname — was that hoping the true-crime enthusiast would leave you alone was a sure way to draw her near; as though she were some kind of mind-reader who naturally latched onto discomfort as an invitation. and perhaps that wasn’t entirely untrue, of course.

but it was entirely more likely that jedekiah blackwood allowing his gaze to sit upon her a few moments too long ( and his quiet mutterings ) were the cause of lux closing the distance between them with a black coffee in her hands — the french, much like the italians, didn’t believe in coffee with dairy after eleven a.m. — and pulling out the chair across the table. “fancy seeing you here,” she beamed, “we met in france, and now here! isn’t that, like, really wild? not as wild as the whole woods thing, obviously, which is why i’m here, but... yeah!”

[ofshampain]

MEME DAY ! 

meme: playlist meme

muse: antigone “annie” finnegan lazzaro

featuring: rory finnegan; dottie finnegan, sebastian lazzaro, sophia finnegan lazzaro ( mentioned. ) ( @shatteredhope​ ; @foggedgrief​ )

song: arcade  ( duncan laurence. )

                                                                                                             ONE YEAR AGO

WITHIN the British intelligence community, there was a saying — a pithy GCHQ proverb — and to the organisation’s American bed-fellows ( yes, bed-fellows; no one who served either country during war could truthfully tell you different, and it was here worth noting that the United States of America had never had a ‘peace-time president’ ) it was likewise relevant: if you stay for more than five years, you’ll never leave. At the time, when it had been told to Annie Finnegan Lazzaro, the bright-eyed lover had laughed off the hushed-voice concerns of the women — and their offers of a circle-time support group, a free-space for tears as it were: you do not have to make Atlas of yourself, here — but now, of course, she was but one of them. 

Because Sebastian Lazzaro had elapsed the ‘Five-Year Rule’ twice over, and he had thus made his choice.

It was its own secret, this society of Bureau divorcées: the only marks of membership were the pale bands of skin on their left ring fingers, and the weight left in their hearts. They seemed to have a knack for finding future inductees, and a frustrating way of being right in their instincts. Though perhaps it was more precedent than judgement: intelligence was hardly the greatest profession to foster such soft things as love, marriage, and family. And everyone “knows” that when they take the mantle, but as with so many things in life, you don’t know until you’ve experienced. Until the pain of it was rending you limb from limb and it’s all that you could do to keep breathing, keep that heart beating, and keep that smile upon your lips even if it never again reached your eyes. 

Frail and hoarse from crying, Annie’s voice petered out in her throat when she tried to thank Rory & Dottie for their help; she looked over to where Sophia — the light of her life, her reason for pushing on even when her back was breaking; her reason for pushing forward with all this even when her heart was breaking — snoozed on ( every tear-track gently dabbed away ) tucked protectively into her sister-in-law’s side. She opened her mouth to speak again but instead felt her brother gently guiding her away from the room, settling on the edge of someone’s bed and pulling her properly into his arms. 

“I really thought...” she sobbed into his shoulder, and fought the urge to scream, “I thought giving him the— that it’d shock him out of it, that he’d, that Sophia at least meant enough to—  I never thought... but it’s over and done— I loved him, I love him, and it’s— it’s over.”

[ofshampain]

SEND ME ‘🎶’ AND ONE OF MY MUSES AND I’LL WRITE A SELF-PARA BASED ON THE NEXT SONG ON MY PLAYLIST.

[xleafyheartx]

100 Random Character Development Questions

001. When is their birthday? 002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? 003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? 004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? 005. Are they in good health? 006. What sense do they most rely on? 007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? 008. What is their favorite fairy tale? 009. Do they believe in happy endings? 010. Do they believe in love at first sight? 011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? 012. What makes your character embarrassed? 013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? 014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. 015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? 016. What is their choice of weapon? 017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? 018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? 019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? 020. What are their hobbies? 021. How do they display affection? 022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? 023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? 024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? 025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? 026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? 027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? 028. What makes them laugh out loud? 029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? 030. Do they believe in the afterlife? 031. Are they superstitious about anything? 032. Does your character believe in ghosts? 033. Do they keep their promises? 034. What’s their view of lying? 035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? 036. How honorable is your character? 037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? 038. What bad habits do they have? 039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? 040. What is their obsession? 041. Are they comfortable with technology? 042. What is their greatest achievement? 043. What will they stand up for? 044. What disgusts them? 045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? 046. How do they handle getting sick? 047. What was the last medical problem your character had? 048. Do they have any allergies? 049. How does your character feel about growing old? 050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? 051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? 052. What is your character’s worst flaw? 053. What is your character’s greatest strength? 054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? 055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? 056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? 057. Has your character ever killed anyone? 058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? 059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? 060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? 061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? 062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? 063. How well does your character handle difficult people? 064. In what ways does your character annoy others? 065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? 066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? 067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? 068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? 069. What about your character is heroic? 070. What about your character is cowardly? 071. How kind is your character? 072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) 073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) 074. What is your character’s favorite game? 075. Is your character ticklish? 076. How do they express anger? 077. How often do they cry? Over what? 078. How emotionally stable is your character? 079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? 080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions? 081. Is your character religious? 082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? 083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? 084. Describe your character in one word. 085. Describe your character in three words. 086. How would your character describe themself in one word? 087. How would your character describe themself in three words? 088. Is your character quiet or loud? 089. How vocally expressive is your character? 090. How bodily expressive is your character? 091. What type of music does your character like? 092. What emotion does your character evoke in others? 093. What is your character’s goal in life? 094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know. 095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do. 096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project? 097. How well do they adapt to change? 098. Does your character like animals? 099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? 100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about?

[ofshampain]

SEND ME ‘🎶’ AND ONE OF MY MUSES AND I’LL WRITE A SELF-PARA BASED ON THE NEXT SONG ON MY PLAYLIST.

[shatteredhope]

@ofshampain​ // cas & annie // current early afternoon

 cas, by virtue at this point, out of habit really, didn’t have a lot, and friends were usually a lot for him to keep up with. he wasn’t used to having emotional attachments, but when he got the job at the theatre a couple of months ago, he found a place that was easier to fit in than most. his odd peculiarities were accepted, they were artists too after all, so he really felt like the closest thing he got to a family in a very long time. 

he didn’t really have a reason to be here, but he might have just been bored and maybe a little bit lonely. he popped his head into annie’s office and gave her a little smile, “hey annie, how’s it going?" 

[ofshampain]

when the office door opened, annie was mulling over the case of prismacolo(u)r pencils as she comprised colour schemes; she hadn’t much to do until ofelia arrived ( and inevitably looked at her phone screen more than anyone present ) after all, so cas’ presence was a grand distraction from everything. her worry for rory — he’d sent her a text, asking if it was alright to drop the kids over, and that wouldn’t be unusual if it wasn’t just that; her brother knew she was more likely to catch calls than texts at work, and yet he’d taken the gamble anyway — the retained sadness over her divorce, the everything.

“cas,” she smiled warmly, gesturing for him to come further in, “it’s going alright, thanks. how about you?” of all the things annie was capable of, telling the truth when the answer to such questions was ‘not good,’ didn’t seem to be one of them. “i can get you something to drink, and i’m sure i have something by the way of breakfast in the cupboard if you’re hungry — if i’d known you were coming i’d have made something for you.”

[ofshampain]

ofunexpecteds​:

Despite how hunched over his desk he was, it didn’t stop hazel orbs from flickering over to watch her. Roman made his coffee perfectly without his prompting — never to bitter, never to sweet, and while he shouldn’t have been surprised ( half their job was about observation ), it still was something of interest ( though thinking about it, he was certain he could make her drink as she preferred if he was asked ).

“Knowing our luck, one of those idiots is going to walk right into the fog without any thought and it’s going to be made that much worse.” Offering a slight up turn of his lips when she placed the mug before him, he swiveled his chair to properly look at her. “Our cover will be fine.” At least, that’s what he told himself. Out of all of them, he was the one that tended to fumble over the factual script they’d been given to ramble off — but he was smart enough to pass it off as nerves ( though the thought made him scoff ). “One of the librarians seems to have their ear to the gossip going on in the town. FBI might pass most of it off as nonsense but at least we know better. Maybe we should try there again… And if that isn’t helpful, perhaps we need to explore other options. Maybe see if we can get a drone to send into the woods. And if our lovely employer wont provide it….” Releasing a sigh, a free hand ran through his hand. “Perhaps its time I take a walk in the woods.”

their coffee preferences. one of the first things roman had observed memorised about each one of them as they had arrived in town — having the upper hand, as she’d lived in pinehaven her entire life & had worked in “fish and wildlife” for many years already — first theo & polly, and then jasper a short while later. 

she could navigate the town dizzy and with her eyes closed, and while the other two certainly caught up well enough it had been her responsibility to teach them the locals’ secret snickelways and hideouts. the rumour-mill hotbeds of gossip and where to go if you wanted a quiet breakfast in the morning uninterrupted by the burgeoning urge to break some too-loud teenager’s face-hole.

and teach them she did, once she had decided these new blood were her people. at first, she’d been unsure, tired of people being helicoptered in from new york or wherever else. after all, what could they know of the tragedies of pinehaven? the people that roman had seen come and disappear: the family, the friends, the casual acquaintances you smiled at on the street who dissipated with the departure of the fog? too many suited-and-booted city-boys had scoffed at her warnings, marched off into the night as the radio warnings warbled on, and — predictably — were not seen again. 

( “employ people who fucking understand, then,” she’d scowled at her superior, “it’s not my bloody job to wrangle smug and clueless grown men; if you wanna make a ‘captain’ title and give it to me, then i’ll put up with their crap as per my job description. okay?” unsurprisingly, nothing changed — so roman didn’t, either. but when polly, jasper & theo arrived, things were different, and gladly so. ) 

“i won’t let you go in alone,” roman said, zeroing in on his comment and narrowing her eyes. with any of the people who came before her triad fish & wildlife family, she’d have let them risk themselves all they liked, for they never gave her a reason to care for them. but theo? it took her a moment to realise her hand was rested on top of his in some form of urgency, and she looked him in the eyes before she pulled it back, “do you hear me?”