THANATOPHOBIA

𝕄𝕖 𝕙𝕖 𝕛𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕠 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝕕𝕖 𝕧𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝕕𝕖 𝕧𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤 ℚ𝕦𝕖 𝕚𝕓𝕒 𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕣 𝕖𝕤𝕖 𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠, 𝕠𝕝𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕣 𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕠 𝕝𝕠 )𝕞𝕒-𝕞𝕒-𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕒 𝕞𝕦𝕛𝕖𝕣) 𝕊𝕠𝕪 𝕦𝕟 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕠 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕕𝕚'𝕠 𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕒 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖, 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕕𝕚'𝕠 𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕒 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕠 𝕢𝕦𝕖 𝕔𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕒 𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒 𝕥𝕦 𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕣 𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝙺𝙸𝙼 , 18 , GMT.

[ofthanatophobia]

esmcrcldaa‌:  // ⊰  esmeralda amatore . ⊱ 

             find a way to make it work—oh, if only he knows the weight of his words. she thinks about it constantly, them. they’re friends, but she loves him. esmerelda knows she does, yet she remains secluded to the sidelines. it was safer there. the ultimate irony of it all, the man she trusts mosts could unknowingly break her heart with as much as a glance. she realizes she has to respond, and inspiring up all of the falsehood she could muster, she shrugs. “ i thought you were the type to T A K E what you want, mase. ” she never fully realizes how could she is at covering up, her affection for the male. it was when he wasn’t paying attention that she truly allows herself to admire him. he’s perfect in the most imperfect of ways. she’s ghosted on everyone else who has tried to earn her heart, always circling back to mason in this vicious cycle that could so easily be remedied if she was stronger person than she was. esme was a dreamer, often plagued by the ‘ what if’s ‘, the deepest desires of her heart playing like a 3d screen in her mind. in her fantasies, things were different. she wasn’t so damn afraid of the unknown. what mason is describing now is a date—dinner by candlelight, just the two of them, stolen glances across the table and entwined fingers.  she knows he doesn’t mean it as she pictures it. it’s something else she thinks about, more often than she’d ever admit out loud. “ well now that you mention it, ” esme hums, lip ghosting over her plump inferior lip, “ if that didn’t get you laid, i don’t know what will. ” she’s pushing the boundaries ever so slightly, resolved with the fact that he started this. but god, how she hopes that he’s not toying with her heart. he could be, without even realizing it. just as quickly as the boldness appeared, she was reminded why she held back. it was too terrifying, thinking this crush on mason would result in the end of their friendship. she needs him. he keeps her sane, keeps her from spiraling into her addiction, into this horrible war of death and betrayal. esmerelda knows that’s why he’s developed such a large holding of her heart. he’s different than the rest. she’d gladly dedicate more of her time to him, caution to the wind. it was dangerous if they were seen together, even more so if his role in the fire was ever uncovered. she didn’t give a fuck. at the end of the day, it didn’t matter—cobras, savages. if she was supposed to hate him, she refuses. esme could never bring herself to allow their affiliation to stand in the way of them being together, in whatever capacity that ‘ togetherness ’ entailed. her brown hues narrow as he speaks. because he’s right, she does love it. mason hasn’t a clue how much. and how much she wished he’d misbehave with her. “ you’re right, there’s somethin’ about arsonists that really turn me on. i bet this is why you did it, huh ? i think there’s easier ways to get a girl’s attention, ” she giggles, playfully jabbing his bare chest with her finger. it’s far easier to keep this lighthearted, to not stare into his captivating eyes and tell him how she dreams of him nearly every night. “ oh, i have PLENTY of ways, ” esme assures with a nod, “ i could share… but it’s way much more for me to watch you wonder about it. ” this is another moment where she hates what he does to her, making her feel as though she’s walking on a cloud—and here she is, completely sober. she offers him a genuine smile, sheepishly looking away momentarily as she tucks a lock of her long brunette tresses behind her ear.  “ good. there better not be any other esme’s in your life. ” she knows for a fact there’s no other masons in her’s. he was one of a kind, someone she looked for in the faces of every friend and lover she has. “ you don’t even have a good view with me behind you like this, c’mon, use your brain, ” she teases, affectionately nuzzling her face against the side of his head, at perfect heigh for her short stature. she does this to cover up the red tint to her cheeks. she didn’t want to make it too obvious she was swooning over him. “ oh yeah ? and where would you want it to slip then, huh ? ” she asks, trying hard to focus on her art, and not the man she was crazy over effortlessly making her legs weak. esme is relatively fast at what she does, despite taking extra precautions to ensure mason’s tattoo was flawless. after thirty minutes of drawing and shading, she was pleased with the result.  “ i think it might be done… ” she announces, wiping off the space of any excess ink or blood. “ yeah. it’s done. go look ! ” this is the big moment, and she’s absolutely nervous. making him happy is everything to her. the final product is stunning, something she’s really PROUD of— black, white and grey, a rose blossomed out, petals intricate and unique, all encompassed by a passionate flame. the edges of the delicate petals were ashy, nearly dripping in the intense heat ( much like how esme felt when she was with him ). of course, looking closer, the most personal touch of all, her signature worked into the fire, a tiny, chic heart forming from the lettering of the ‘ a ’ ending her name.

                  words are spoken in such a way that his lips part , corners of his lips twitching as mason kept his gaze on esmeralda - if he were to , he’d probably ruin their friendship , allow himself to close the gap between them right there , do the one thing he’s toying with in his mind , risk it - kiss her , but he doesn’t - holds back from giving in , from doing the one thing he feared would ruin the friendship. she’s too good for him , too good for this world , for valdez - and she deserved so much better. yet he’s completely oblivious as of what flashes through her mind once he’s suggested the dinner , doesn’t know the things she pictures , or how much she truly wants this - wants that , for him to go out , on a date - but her words , they only cause him to bite down onto his bottom lip , the corners of his lips twitching. this banter , it’s what he lives for - to have such a conversation with the femme - addicted to her presence. it’s something he knows he is , somehow ends up texting her whenever they’re not together , bugs her - wants nothing more but to hear her voice - he cares too much , knows he shouldn’t considering his status , but setting the caito mansion on fire and coming right here , heading to see her , just proves with who his loyalty stood. he’d do anything to protect her , to make sure she’d remain safe - fuck he’d KILL anyone who dared to hurt her , he’d KILL for her , would DIE for her and that’s a fact. if he had to take a bullet to the head to make sure she was safe , if it ensured she’d never get hurt , he’d fucking take it. “  oh so you’re suggesting we should .  .  . ??  ” tone of voice clearly hints at one thing only , - he’s toying with the idea , the way his eyes gaze into her own - they’re friends , just friends - and he toys with the idea , but he wouldn’t do that to her - god she wasn’t just some girl , it was esmeralda for the love of god , and he cares more than he’ll ever admit. he cares , cares so fucking much. it only seems like the playful banter was not stopping any time soon , lips curled into a smirk - his whiskey hues searching her features - he refuses to hate her , refuses to do the one thing he’s meant to do. it doesn’t matter , that they’re cobras and savages - “  but you know i was trynna impress you. see ?? it worked , i got your attention - all to myself now too.  ” shameless flirting , - truth is , if he were to see her with anyone else he’d try to let it not bother him , but a part of him would find itself wishing to take the other’s place , be good enough - give her what she deserved , a life away from all this drama. “  you’re the only esme in my life , will always be.  ” his gaze is stuck upon the reflection of the mirror , feeling her cheek against his own , nuzzling her face against his - it would take him two seconds , him tilting his head and close the gap between the two , to kiss her - two seconds - but he doesn’t , stops himself from doing so. “   but y’know , i’m sure i don’t have to say anything for you to know where i’m thinking -  ” nonstop teasing , and he doesn’t seem to realise how she feels - is only tempting , playing - when deep down he knows he craves the sight of esmeralda , craves the taste , the feel - simply craves her. he’d be a liar if he said he did not , but there he is - trying his  best to get by in that moment without thinking about it too much - last thing he wants is to get a fucking hard on right there. and then , the tattoo is done - she’s announced , tells him to go and look , and slowly he gets up - reaches for one of the small mirrors , hand raising as his back faced the one behind him - and he’s quiet , lips parting as he took in every little detail , admiring the perfect inking , the lines , the curves - but there’s one thing he spots , fingertips brushing over her signature , - and he says nothing , as he’s looking at her once again , mirror placed onto the counter only to walk towards her , soft chuckle parting his lips - “  you’re a fuckin’ genius.  ” he’s honest , as he wraps his arms around her , his voice softer - grin wide. “ actually a genius , it’s beautiful , i love it. ” and his hand reaches for her own , once again - thumb brushing over her knuckles. he’s not sure what to tell her , he’s mesmerised really , but all he can do is one thing - show his gratitude , thank her - over and over. “  seriously , esme .  .  . thank you.  ”

[ofthanatophobia]

dadivosos‌:  // ⊰  serafina carbonell  ⊱

            serafina did not need a specific reason to drink , she never really grew into the idea that valentine’s day was a day to be sad or angry.  she did however find their pda gross.  she did however hate how she called someone , she tended to keep to herself until abigail came home.  everything was doing well , bundled in her blanket , watching a ridiculous movie but her fingers seemed to quickly dial a number she tended to avoid.  “ can i not drink ? “ words were not too slurred , but there was a a slight higher pitch to her tone.  “ i’m home — where else would i be? “

               he’s listening , waiting for an answer - and the tone of voice isn’t one he’s used to - hearing her voice in such a pitch ; she’s getting smashed , alone ?? “  never said you weren’t , serafina , but .  .  . how much have you had already ??  ” brows furrow , and he’s tempted to ask her once question -  ma che cazzo stai facendo. pearly white teeth sink into his bottom lip , head cocking to the side as she spoke once more , - “  okay , i’m coming over with food yeah ?? -  ” he’s not sure why she’s drinking in the first place , or why she’s called him out of all people ; more so because usually he felt like she hated his guts , no matter how much he liked her. “ any special wishes , serafina ??  ”

[ofthanatophobia]

@esmcrcldaa

         his gaze spots an all too familiar femme - and at first mason finds himself standing there , admiring her from a far , watching her talk to whoever that idiot was - but he’s thinking one thing ; shit she’s beautiful - and he’s left wondering whether or not she was enjoying herself. yet he picks up two of the glasses of champagne , one for her and one for himself - and he moves to stand in between her and whomever she was talking to. “  hope you don’t mind , i got you a drink.  ”and he offers her the glass - his gaze flickering to fall upon her angelic features , tongue darting across his bottom lip. he can feel whoever it was behind him , mutter something - and briefly he looks over his shoulder , glares at the male - quick way of telling him to fuck off - and thank god he listens. “  you look real fuckin’ good , esme.  ” his lips have curled into a grin , flute glass lifted to his lips , a small sip taken - and he takes a step closer , free hand reaching for the small plastic bag of weed hidden away in one of his pockets - “  i’m in the mood for sharin’ so .  .  . wanna smoke ?? ” 

[ofthanatophobia]

esmcrcldaa‌:  // ⊰  esmeralda amatore ⊱

              “ why, you jealous ? ” she toys with him, though she somehow retains her bashfulness, dimpled cheek  “ how am i gonna make my money then, huh ? you know i can’t charge if i L I K E it. ” conversations with mason always ebb and flow, much like the waves of the ocean. tantalizingly perfect. it’s only recently their tones have turned suggestive. although esme is convinced he’s merely poking fun at her silly crush. her silence couldn’t remove the way she looks at him. as though mason, himself, created everything she loves. he could do no wrong in her eyes. she’s a tough girl to give away her trust—he has it completely. she never worries about getting hurt when he’s with her ( although her paranoia did skyrocket to stratospheric levels when he wasn’t ). it’s hard to feel safe in a town like valdez, especially considering her line of work. she considers this sense of security a unique trait of mason’s. he walks in the room, and suddenly there’s nothing for her to be frightened of. in many ways, esmerelda’s loyalty laid not with the savages, but with him. even his role in the caito mansion fire was dismissed by the brunette. it shouldn’t be that way, she knows this. but she didn’t care. so long as this didn’t place a target on his back—which they both knew it would, if his name ever got out. although esme would run straight to mason should she ever catch wind of a plot that put him in harm’s way. she’d do this selflessly. betraying the savage’s trust was nothing compared to breaking mason’s. his words inspire butterflies to erupt in her stomach, teeth sinking into her lower lip. he couldn’t possibly mean that, right ? that he wanted her in the same way she so desperately ached for him. “ huh. i don’t believe you, ” she stubbornly declares. she hides the truthfulness she feels with allurement, eyes flashing upward to momentarily lock with his. if she was braver, she’d look longer. hell, if she had more courage there were many, many things she would do with mason. nevertheless, she stands still, his hand on her lower back, the mood practically setting itself up for the occasion. she felt pathetic over it. the idea of spending more time with mason was instantaneous appealing. even though they did try to keep in contact with one another, that was nothing like actually having him beside her. nothing beat that feeling. she giggles at his suggestion of ‘ netflix and chil ’, shaking her head as she gazes adoringly up at the male, “ what kinda girl do you think i am ? buy me dinner first, sheesh — — oh wait, you totally just did… ” esme realizes, referring to the pizza, “ i mean a whole separate dinner ! but…seriously, i  really do want to see you more… ” admittedly, she’s nervous about seeing mason in public for the same reasons he is. she doesn’t want to get him in trouble. especially because of her. she knew she’d never be able to cope with that kind of guilt. but if mason thinks they can get away with it… she certainly isn’t going to refuse, “ see THAT’S why we always get drunk at my place, “ she muses, “ you’re always misbehavin’ ! what do i have to do to get you to behave yourself ? ” god, why did he have to wink at her like that ? did he not know it made her heart leap from her chest ? perhaps it’s just the moment, but she’s never been crazier about him than right now. it’s daunting and scary, feeling that way about a friend. if he was any other man, maybe she would’ve done something by now. this was mason, though, his rejection was unfathomable to picture, let alone actually experience. whilst she lusted over him while another man was inside of her, she still lacked the grit to just tell him. “ i know you would, ” esme speaks softly, “ you’re pretty fuckin’ irreplaceable. ” at last, a flash of honesty in regards to the inner workings of her heart. “ yeah, yeah, i get you. like a selfie party. but with nudes. but, oh shoot, i’m practically ready to tattoo you… talk about bad timing. let’s see if you still feel like gettin’ naked after i stab you for a bit. then we’ll talk. ” even though their back and forth held real emotion behind her words, she still enjoys the effortlessness of it. he makes her laugh. he makes her smile. hearing that he trusts her is everything. she’d always do her best for him. catching his glance in the reflection of the mirror, esmerelda sticks her tongue out at him, chuckling again. admittedly knowing his eyes are on her is both daunting and exhilarating. it only makes her focus harder on her vision, bringing the buzzing gun to the flesh of his back. free handing tattoos wasn’t something artists were usually comfortable with, but she’s in her element like this. the image is already in her head, it simply needed to come to life. “ well, ” the brunette began, speaking louder to compensate for the tattoo gun, “ i will ask you to refrain from jackin’ off while i’m doin’ this… wouldn’t want my hand to slip, would you ? ”

          “   maybe i am -  ” he teased , head cocking to the side as he watched her . “  ‘s a good question but .   .   .  i’m sure we’d find a way , right ?? to make it work .  .  . i still want my v i p. ” teeth sink into his bottom lip as he gazed at the femme , honey dipped hues gazing into her own. he’s clueless , god he’s completely unaware of what went through her mind , what she wanted , what she felt - that it was all about him. love is something he believes he’s not capable for anymore , not since his heart was broken - twice , - since he was made to believe he wasn’t worth of love , that it would only r u i n him , make him w e a k. yet deep down he knows those are all excuses - he fears to care , to grow attached to someone’s being and lose them - to get his heart b r o k e n. it’s a fear he’s not able to shake , a fear that’s been there since the beginning of time. mason knows , knows now more than ever he isn’t m a d e for such a thing , such a feeling - such a life. but he’s already attached , knows that losing esmeralda would wreck him - knowing she was hurt would make him lose his mind. he cares , cares too fucking much - and he’s known her for too long to let anything happen to her , - it didn’t matter if she as a savage , it didn’t fucking matter to him at all - and maybe that made him a hypocrite ; a liar for the shit he’d pulled hours earlier with claire. - the same claire he thought he liked - but things were different , grief was involved - he couldn’t care less about her relationship with aaron either. he’ll get over it , he’ll forget whatever it was that made him so angry in the first place - and if the red head ended up with a bullet between her brows , he’ll only remind himself of one thing - he warned her. his gaze shifts as she speaks , brows arching as she sooke - and as the realization hit her that he’d technically already bought dinner , mason finds himself laughing - his grin widening as he shook his head. “  let me guess , you want the fancy restaurant kind of dinner ?? eat ratatouille and shit - some good lasagne alla bolognese ??  ” his whiskey hues greet her own once more , - it’s true , he’s sure she can see he wants that just as much as her , to spend more time together - but there’s that f e a r , wonders what would happen if anyone were to catch onto the fact that they care more about each other than they should - because as much as his loyalty laid with the cobras , if he knew her life were to be threatened - he’d break protocol , go against his own - and drag her out. anything to protect her , anything to make sure she’d be alright. “  oh but you love it when i misbehave , admit it esme !! you fuckin’ love it.  ” lips have curled into a smirk , his teeth sinking into his bottom lip and then he speaks again , tone of voice teasing as he gazed at her , whiskey hues searching her own. “  i’m sure you can come up with ways to get me to behave , or shut up - who knows.  ” he’s obviously hinting at something , - the look he gives her only confirming it - and while he’s only playing around , he’d be lying if he said he’d never wondered , or allowed his imagination to wander somewhere forbidden. she’s his friend , s u r e , but it’s esmeralda for the love of god and he’s not blind , he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think she was hot - in fact he believed she’s fucking beautiful , but she’ll always be more than some pretty face - would always be. she’s someone he trusts , - someone he’d fucking die for. “  good , because you’re pretty fuckin’ irreplaceable too.  ” and he means it , means every word - but he’s sure she already knows that. she’s a savage , he’s a cobra - they’re supposed to be enemies , but god they’re the fucking opposite and as wrong as it might be in the eyes of many , mason couldn’t bring himself to give a shit. “  a selfie party , nudes party more like it - bad timing though ?? we could always multi task. i’m sure it’d make for some pretty sick pictures , no ?? ” his eyes are on her , watches her every move - and she picks up on that fact , sticks her tongue out , making him chuckle - but then she begins , buzzing gun brought to the flesh of his back , the all too familiar pain beginning - but it’s bearable , bearable because he’s got something to focus on - her.  but then she speaks , and her words only cause his brows to arch , the corners of his lips twitching - smirk widening - he wastes no time in answering either - is already suggesting something else entirely , he’s being a little shit really. “  i mean no .  .  . but i guess it all depends on where it’ll slip.  ” of course he always had to take things out of context , - but the banter was fun , he’s enjoying all of this more than he should.

[ofthanatophobia]

bornsicks‌:  //   ⊰ iris vitale ⊱ 

HER SHRUG IS PALPABLE, steps carrying her ever onward as the elder chatters at her ear.  ‘ i give them a day or two. what about you, hmm ? you’re the expert.  ’  growing up savage, she knew how they worked and while she didn’t have anything that even remotely approached respect for the organization she’d give them enough credit that the were at least half-wit enough to put two and two together. iris plucks a cigarette from the box, rolling it between her fingertips before pillowing it with her lips while she strikes the flint. adrenaline is still running on high and the tingle of nicotine only serves to enhance and prolong. this war is a never-ending cycle of retaliation, it has been as long as she can remember and if they don’t kill each other off too soon, it will continue long after her fated demise.  ‘  i can get behind that.  ’  she breathes out an acrid cloud of smoke.  ‘  it’s a bar, mason, i couldn’t stop you from going any more than you could stop me.  ’  he’s trying to make friends with the new girl, that much is clear, even if she’d been wearing snakeskin far longer than anyone was actually aware. there’s a wry twist to her lips as she watches  him from her peripherals; she’ll throw him a bone.  ‘  unless you’re asking me to save you a dance and then that’s an entirely different story.  ’

       “   expert ??  ” brow arches , a chuckle parting mason’s lips as he shakes his head. “  i mean .  .  . i guess i’ve been in this for a while but , in nine years i’ve never exactly set anything on fire. ” there’s a laugh following his words , his gaze shifting to fall upon the brunette’s features - he knows what they just did would c h a n g e things , setting the caito mansion on fire - he’s well aware that the savages would react , possibly retaliate ( the odds were high ) but he also hopes whatever they do wouldn’t be similar to the events of the casino ; - it still stung , how any lives were lost , it’s something he wouldn’t forget nor forgive - hell it fuelled the hatred he held for the enemy even more. “  impressive though , - what you did i mean - ” he knows she hasn’t been in this for long , but she’s good - he’s no idiot. bringing the nicotine stick to his lips , mason inhales - as he listened to the femme speak , - he only felt like it was polite to ask ; but her words only cause for the corners of his lips to twitch as he exhaled , - “ save me a dance huh ?? - y’know , i think you got me. ” he said , voice teasing as whiskey hues drifted away - gazing up briefly as he watched the smoke dissipate - and then he’s taking another drag of his cigarette. “ first rounds on me though , i’m ready to get shit-faced , really. ”

[ofthanatophobia]

@honevlove​

      “  i’m glad you came.  ” lips have curled into a grin , arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back against the booth. asking her out for lunch , a way of catching up , properly - after all he’d basically vanished the night of the bonfire ( and he’s sure she knows why ) , blame it on the mission he’d been on with a few of his fellow gang members - but he’s glad it turned out well , even if he’s worried to death about anton. “  i’ve been told the burgers here are pretty good , but .  .  . i’m not really in a burger kind of mood , are you ??  ” if they served pasta here - he’d get that , but he’ll probably have to settle for the quesadillas. his gaze scans over the menu , head tilting to the side as his teeth nibbled at his bottom lip. “  this is on me by the way , no splitting or anything - just a heads up.  y’know me billie , i ain’t gonna take a no for an answer either. ”

[ofthanatophobia]

@dadivosos

        he’s worried about him, it’s why he’s here , visiting him at the estate. he only hopes anton would recover , knew of the injuries - and he’s only taken note that next time they did anything related to a mission against the savages , he’d keep his eyes on the petran until things calmed down. he’s not letting this shit happen to his mate again. mason closes the door behind him as he walks in , backpack stuffed with leftovers from back at home - a real italian pizza margherita , it turned out better than he thought it would as he followed his grandmother’s recipe. “  anton ,  ” voice breaks the silence as he walks closer to the other male , steps slow as he looked around himself , briefly before his gaze fell upon his friend , and then he’s sliding off his bag , zipping it open only to take out the few tupperwares mason had brought with himself. “  i brought you some , - figured you might want some.  ” he says , taking a seat across from the male , his whiskey hues watching the young petran. “   so .  .  . how you feeling ?? i was gonna suggest if you wanted me to help you , slowly getting back into the loop of things - training et cetera , - slowly of course , i’m not - i’m not here to make things worse. ”

[ofthanatophobia]

esmcrcldaa‌: // ⊰  esmeralda amatore ⊱

             that smirk of his, it’s dangerous, it’s alluring… it’s everything. she’d hate him for being so handsome if she could, although esme knows her ‘ crush ’ on her closest companion had layers far deeper than skin deep. mason’s entire existence had captivated her—body, mind, and soul. she’s his and he doesn’t even know it. perhaps it’s better this way, but she doesn’t want to believe that. her body responds to his touch by leaning back into the hand so teasingly resting above her ass. he’s too good at this. “ never said you weren’t eligible, mase. i can’t be givin’ you all my business. the naked tattoo artist has to be inclusive. ” her words were painfully ironic, she only really wants him. the others don’t compare. this life that she’s created for herself would hold little substance without mason. hell, at times she wonders if she’d still be alive if it wasn’t for him, her savior. he rescues her just by looking at her. in moments like these, where they were in seclusion, free of the social restraints which told them that this was wrong, she wishes she was braver. she wishes she could pull his face down to her’s and kiss him with everything she’s got. but esmerelda notoriously lacked a backbone. she keeps silent, and her heart keeps aching. “ bet you wanna find out, huh ? ” the brunette teased promiscuously, her eyes glancing upward to offer him a brief, yet albeit SUGGESTIVE expression. she couldn’t resist this not-so-subtle banter, though she believes mason does this with every woman. she’s not special, at least not in the way she wants to be. still, he’d never know the longing of her heart as she smiles innocently, laughing as he does. she’d rather keep him like this than not at all. thinking back on it, esme wonders how she survived as long as she did without mason. he was crucial, like air. she often thought what life would be like if she left the savages behind, attempt to lead an existence that resembles something normal ( for lack of a better term ). it was daunting to picture herself with the drugs, the chaos and demand. in fact, she’s terrified of it, of being unable to be satisfied by anything but this life of limitless danger. deep down, she knows mason wants better for her. while esme would thoughtlessly do anything for this man, could she really push herself that far into the realm of the unknown if he asked ? she doesn’t like to contemplate it often. she thinks in the present, and RIGHT NOW they were here, together. cliches and potential dangers set aside, in this moment, there’s not any other place on earth she’d rather be. “ well what are you gonna do about it then, mister ? ” she inquires pointedly as he teases her, knuckles resting on the curves of her hips. if only he knew that she was his for the taking—and she always would be. mason’s laugh, his smile, it’s mesmerizing. being in the same room as him is euphoric in and of itself. at the same time, it’s sad, how her heart calls out to him to no reply. esmerelda swallows thickly as her eyes are glued up to his, shivers racing down his spine as he tucks a lock of her brunette tresses behind her ear. wordlessly, she stood on the tips of her toes to press a kiss to his cheek, lips lingering there for perhaps a second too long before she forces herself to retract, smiling sweetly at her companion, “ you’re a mush. but really… mase, i adore you. i’ll always be here for you. ” adore seems like such a light word in comparison to the other adjectives that float around her mind. she settles for it, though, for now. how could she not get flustered when he’s sitting there, shirtless, looking how he does, taking about his dick ? she’s trying her best to conceal the bashfulness, the desire, with a roll of her eyes. “ isn’t that what nudes are for… ? oh right. you don’t have any of me… aw, man. ” —or she could undress right here. but she doesn’t provide that option, as much as she wants to. it seems as soon as he takes her hand, he lets it go, turning his back to her so she can do what it is he really came here for. esme takes the moment to compose herself, slipping on a pair of latex gloves and loading the gun with fresh needles. “ i’m thinkin’, ” she hums, the black in ready to go on her meticulously organized tray, “ we’re stickin’ with the fire theme, but that’s the only hint you’re gettin’. —sorry, it’s cold, ” she quickly adds as she wipes an alcohol swab over the patch of flesh on the upper right side of mason’s back that she’s claimed for herself. “ ready ? i know you’ve got that tiny girl fetish, but keep it in your pants for me, ” she speaks that last line with her chin on his shoulder, giggling as she looks over at him. she lingers there only for a moment before the loud hum of the tattoo gun vibrated over the music.

              “   can you not ?? please , esme - i bet that’s all just an excuse , huh ?? y’know i’m right. but hey , if i gotta book all appointments y’know i will. ” lips have curled into a smirk , and he feels the way she’s leaning back against his hand. god he just wishes he could drive her out of this life , do something to make sure she wasn’t involved in all of this crap. she knows this life just as well as she does , and while fear was something they should be used to there’d always be one thing , a thought he wouldn’t be able to shake. what if she got hurt ?? his gaze remains upon her own , whiskey hues gazing into chocolate ones , hand remaining upon the lower of her back as he continued to think - losing her would be a nightmare , seeing her end up hurt - he’d take a fucking bullet if he had to , anything to keep her safe , but mason was no idiot - he knows better than anyone that in this lifestyle , no one was ever truly safe. she’s in another league , deserves so much better than some cobra captain , who’d be stuck in valdez for the rest of his life , but he’d never tell her - would never tell her that she’d be better off without him , without someone that put her in danger just by standing next to her - just by being around her - and it’s selfish , sure , but he knows more than anyone that losing her would be a curse , and truth to be told he’d miss her too much , he’d miss this. she speaks , and her question only causes him to bite into his bottom lip. he’s into this , this new vibe between the pair - the shameless flirting , the teasing , the suggestive undertone of it all - “  oh trust me , i do.  ” sure maybe it’s not the first time he’s been a tease - but she’d never be just another girl , fuck - he’d be an idiot if he thought that way , but he’s not blind - knows her well enough to know that she’d never be just another kiss , another hook up - she’s emseralda , the same girl he’s known for so many years - the same savage he’s grown so fond of - he cares too much , enough to know that he’s completely ignoring the fact that she’s supposed to be an enemy ,  that this - is wrong - but he cares enough to not care , to push that thought to the back of his mind , tell himself that things would work out - that he’d eventually convince her to leave the savages and join the cobras -  “  good question , i’m sure you can give me a couple of ideas though ??  ” he questions , head tilting to the side as he gazed at her. “  we should seriously do something - have lunch and stuff , maybe just watch some netflix and chill  , or just chill.  ” and there he is , chuckling once again - the smirk he wore broken by the laughs parting his lips , and he’s shaking his head , his digits lifting to run through short curls. “  but i’m serious - we do need to do more stuff , hang out more. ” and he means it , believes they don’t do it enough - perhaps it’s fear , that someone would question her or whatever , more so after tonight - but maybe if they met in savage territory things wouldn’t be as bad. “  maybe we can have a drink at trinity or something - down the line , give it a couple of days though , don’t want them to think you’re friends with the pyromaniac.  ” and there it is , a wink sent her way. truthfully hearing her talk that way about him made the corners of his lips twitch. she’s like family to him , and he’s sure she knows that - “  and you know that i’ll always be here for you too , no matter what.  ” he’d do anything , he doesn’t have to tell her , if she asked him to kill someone , he would , if she asked him to come over , he’d drop whatever he’s doing and do just that - he doesn’t care. he’d even snitch , tell her to leave if he knows something were to go down , and hell if she didn’t he’d drag her out of there himself. “  i mean .  .  . we could share em’. you take some , and so will i. hell i’d even pose n shit , just for you , i’d even let you rate them.  ” he teased , his smirk widening as he gazed at her. “ i can even go and take them now if you want.  ” it’s pure banter , the kind of banter he enjoys more than anything. it’s cold , she’s right - obvious as goosebumps begin to adorn the male’s skin , his hands resting upon his knees - “  anything you want , as i said - i trust you , esmeralda. you’ve always been one to ink masterpieces so .  .  .  ” and his gaze was stuck upon the reflection of the mirror in front of them , but he’s watching her , how focused she was - and soon the light buzz of the tattoo gun could be heard , chin resting on his shoulder , only for him to turn slightly. “   i’ll try and keep it in my pants , but i’m pretty sure that’s gonna be difficult - mission impossible ?? maybe.  ”

[ofthanatophobia]

adxlistic‌:     // ⊰  adeline wilfred ⊱

“There’s a lot about you me you wouldn’t guess, mate.” Adeline didn’t budge. If anything, she founded herself that much more. She barely paid any mind to the person pushing past, eyes focused solely on the man in front of her. Perhaps, she was being irrational, too harsh. Yet, all she could see when she saw him, was that fire. She didn’t like far. Not like that. “My mission is to keep everyone in this building safe, and lettin’ you in feels like goin’ against that.”

     it’s starting to get on his nerves , her stubbornness -  the fact that she wasn’t letting him in , it’s not like he was going to set the place on fire , or shoot it up - really - but he’s not sure what he’s meant to do or say to get her to give in. he rolls his eyes , a sigh parting his lips at her words - and he’s shaking his head. annoyance is beginning to become the more obvious as she speaks. “  okay c’mon .  .  . this is starting to feel like a joke. y’know well enough i wouldn’t hurt a fly in here.  ” and it’s the truth , mason wouldn’t. “  i don’t know what this is about or anything , but seriously - this is just gonna be me , having a few drinks - sitting down and just chillin’ .  .  . what you think’s gonna happen , honestly ??  ”

[ofthanatophobia]

vmxtamorphosis‌:  // ⊰  violet lawson ⊱

“People are wary.” Violet pursed her lips at the comparison to what the savages had done. “It is nice, not having to mourn any more losses.” The town had still yet to heal from the battle at the casino. She had been lucky enough to not lose any of her core circle, however the deaths had still been a blow. There was no way one could live in Valdez and not be affected by it. “So am I.” She flicked her hair behind her shoulder. “Just a water would be wonderful. I might save the hard drinks for another night.” The idea of having a drink after work did pass her mind, however she knew herself well enough to know that the moment her shift ended, she would want nothing more then to go to bed after a thorough shower. “I am also glad though, to see that you’re safe.”

      “   exactly - that’s my point. no one’s d e a d.  ” it’s better this way too , - no loss , no grief - it’s just c h a o s really.  it’s a state he’s used to - from a young age. ever since his family began crumbling to the ground because of his father’s drug addiction , things only got worse from there - it tore his family apart. it only served as an explanation , a justification for his hatred towards the savages. it’s something he’d never forgive , what happened to his father - his mother - what his siblings and himself had to suffer. it was all too much. nodding , mason tells her to wait a minute - or two , as he heads for the bar - and once he’s fetched their drinks , he’s back where she was. “   i would’ve been fine no matter what i think , - ” he’s been part of the cobras long enough to believe that things would be fine - and really , he only believed things should in theory go well. he’s had enough training , still continues to train as long as he’s able to. he should be fine. mason hands her the bottle of water , before bringing the can of beer to his lips. “  actually - we should go for a walk or something.  ” it’s not like he’s welcome in trinity anyways , the bouncer had already made it clear - and the last thing he wanted to was for anyone to find out and get her into shit because of him. 

[ofthanatophobia]

hcneycakc‌:  // ⊰   allyson rodgers  ⊱

honey was good at using sex to hide her feelings. it had been the sole reason for why she had ended up in this position, this role in life. she was charismatic and easy to talk and it made her easy to get into bed. the sheets stuck to her skin as she rolled over, laying on her side to face mason. of all the people she hooked up with, a cobra was probably not the best. but mason was good for this and so was she. honey played to her strengths. “hmm. i could definitely eat.” her eyes closed as his mouth pressed against her skin. her fingers laced into the hair at the nape of his neck, a hum leaving her mouth. “who’s to say we can’t do both?” her thumb caught his lower lip and she smiled. “perhaps round two can be in the kitchen.”

        one could call him a hypocrite for causing a scene after finding out about claire and aaron - when he’s doing similar things , sleeping around with a savage - allowing himself to spend more time than anyone was aware of with another - but he’s not open about it , last thing he wants is to put anyone in d a n g e r - and in this scenario , it wasn’t like their gang affiliation mattered at all - it’s all about one thing only , at least with honey. - “  hmm .  .  . y’know that sounds like a good plan , actually.  ” and after placing another kiss to the crook of her neck - mason has pulled back , digits bringing the cigarette to his mouth - a quick drag , before offering the nicotine stick to the blonde - “  i can cook us something - with whatever you’ve got in the fridge. ” he’s not a bad cook really , so he’s sure he could quickly make them something that would turn out good. he’s laying on his side now , his digits slowly trailing down her side. “  unless you want takeaway , ‘s fine too. ” he doesn’t care really , it’s her choice.

[ofthanatophobia]

thorwaldhq‌:   // ⊰ claire thorwald ⊱  august - 2017

August - 2017

         he’s watching , lips parted as he gazed down at the femme - takes more of him into her mouth , her hand wrapping around the base of his length as she pulls back - he’s eager , and her words make it clear to him that she wants to h e a r him - and his digits tangled within her copper curls only tighten in their grip , whiskey hues fixated upon her angelic features - “  oh but you know that i do. you just want me to say it. ” tone of voice is the more teasing as he gazes at the femme - tongue licking a slick strip up the underside of his cock , shaky breath parting the male’s lips as he watches the femme. it’s a sight to remember really , claire thorwald on her knees in between his legs , lips wrapped around his tip - slowly taking more of him , hand jerking him off , slowly bobbing her head - it’s sweet torture , and he’s more than enjoying it - obvious by the way his cock throbbed , or the soft shaky breaths parting his lips - she’s always been someone with the power to drive him mad , almost reminded him of beth - able to work him up in ways he’s never truly understood - but there she is , dragging him down to hell with her - and the way her name parts his lips , laced with desire - and almost breathless , as he finds he’s allowing his mind to wander , wants those sinful sounds to escape the femme - have her ride him , feel how tight she was. he’s no idiot , he knows she’s here to get what she wants , and he’s only helping her - it’s the usual , a viscous cycle - a lustful addiction. “  you’re not being fair , not to yourself .  .  . ” he could be getting her off too , - it’s what he means - and as pretty as she looks sucking on his cock , - he wants to give her something too - , wants to make this about her. “  what do you want .  .  . ?? ” voice is soft , and it’s clear she’s got him wrapped around her finger - the way she’s looking at her , lust clouding his gaze just proves he’ll do anything - he doesn’t care. this is too good , her mouth on him , digits slowly jerking him off - it’s heavenly. “  just tell me , what you want claire.  ”

[ofthanatophobia]

alright imma go to bed now since i technically have to be up in three hours !! ( basically to catch a flight ) i’ll be on tomorrow night probably. if i don’t feel any worse than i already am ; fingers crossed boiiis. good night !!

[ofthanatophobia]

adxlistic‌:  // ⊰  adeline wilfred ⊱

“True, but I have a hunch there’s more then a little truth to it.” He was right. Adeline had seen him around multiple times and he’d never caused any trouble. However, she was fairly certain he’d been the cause of the trouble outside of the place. And that was more than enough reason for her to keep him out. In her opinion at least. “Who thinks it’s funny? Definitely not me.” Her arms were crossed of her chest and her gaze was stern. She didn’t have to repeat her choice to keep him out. It was clear enough that she wasn’t about to let him in.

         “  okay , mate - i would’ve never guessed you were the type to believe some stupid rumours about people.  ” even if they were true , and she seemed to have caught onto that fact - he doesn’t want to cause a scene , or bring any attention for himself for that matter. someone else pushes past him , heading inside the club - and mason cannot help but to roll his eyes , a sigh escaping him as he stood there. “  seriously , i don’t know what your deal is - i didn’t do shit just .  .  . you trynna make it your mission to piss me off or something ?? what is it , mate ??  ” it’s getting on his nerves at this point , but he wouldn’t flip - probably would only end up confirming her theory , that he was one of the few behind the fire.

[ofthanatophobia]

vmxtamorphosis‌:  // ⊰  violet lawson ⊱

Violet wasn’t quite sure the risk she was taking to let him in, was overly worth it. However, he promised a good tip and a walk to her car, so perhaps it was. He was just lucky she’d been taking a quite break when he texted. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have seen it for hours. “She’s protective and careful. Can’t exactly blame her” she pointed out, pushing the strap of her bra back up on her shoulder. “I know. People are angry though. It doesn’t matter how you destroyed his office, it’s the fact you destroyed it in the first place.” Violet preferred to stay far out of gang matters. Sometimes, she wondered the point of it all. However, she knew that if it came to it, it’d be the Savages she’d fight for. A laugh escaped her, “Considering where I am? Yes, I’m perfectly fine.”

       “   i guess so , but .  .  . it ain’t like i’m gonna burn trinity down.  ” he said with a small shrug , gaze flickering to the side , teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “  you have to admit though , it was only the right thing to do - at least we didn’t shoot some place up -  ” at least they didn’t kill anyone - didn’t cause such a mess that they’d leave half of the town grieving. it would’ve been something mason was against - yet he’d follow orders anyways , it didn’t matter if he agreed or not , especially now - that he’s a captain. “  at least we weren’t cruel -  ” he’s stressing it , repeating his own words , emphasising the fact that they were not horrible. they hadn’t killed anyone , - “  i’m glad.  ” he really was , at least she hadn’t gotten hurt - hadn’t been at the estate while it had all gone down , or was she ?? he isn’t sure , but mason didn’t want to ask either , just in case. “  do you want a drink ?? i can get you one if you want , it would be on me , of course. ”

[ofthanatophobia]

esmcrcldaa‌:   // ⊰  esmeralda amatore ⊱

            “ what makes you think you’re eligible for the extra special treatment ? ” esmerelda challenges coyly, head tilted to the side. her long brunette locks draped over her shoulder like a cascading waterfall. “ wouldn’t it be really EMBARRASSING if you couldn’t keep up ? ” she’s teasing, obviously. he doesn’t know she fantasizes about him, often when the head of another male was between her thighs. she’s terrified of saying it out loud, though. that’d make it real… and in reality ? feelings got hurt. esme was far too sensitive, she loathes herself for it deep down. she’d love him from afar just as easily, though she’d be a liar if she said she didn’t t o y with him purposefully—hoping one day he’s take what was rightfully his. her arms cross over her chest, hues narrowed into a playful glare, “ c’mon mase, i’m more of a seeing is believing kinda girl ! until then, nope ! i remain unconvinced ! ” truthfully, she doesn’t know what she wants. change scares her. she’s so reliant on the savages, not for any sense of loyalty, no. it ran much deeper than that. she was a girl who ran away, so fearful of abandonment that she sought to it first. the savages provided stability. could she ever get that somewhere else ? from someone else ?mason gives her hope that she could—how much was that hope really worth ? the way he bites his lower lip is mesmerizing, her mind easily wandering to the plethora of things she’s sure that mouth is capable of. it’s a school girl crush. he gives her butterflies. “ huh. you need to step it up then, my friend. i’m feelin’ a real lack of mason in my life and that doesn’t make me a happy girl. ” she shamelessly needs him around. she’d really go to the ends of the earth for this man. she can’t count the times he’s saved her from the demons that inhabited her mind. for esme, it’s so rare to find someone she can blindly rely on. mason was always the first person in her mind whenever anything happened—good, bad, ugly. sometimes if she has a silly dream, she feels compelled to text him about it. “ mr. arsonist. i bet it was a fucking rush though, ” she muses. she can’t help but praise him, even if his actions would inevitably cause much more chaos than esme cared for, there was an undeniable appeal for the ‘ bad boy ’. her glossy lips curl into a smirk—there’s so many sides of her he hasn’t seen. intimate and raw. did he know the way she thought about him ? the thoughts only a bad girl would have ? “ you have know idea, ” she hums, eyes flickering up to meet his, a brief moment of vulnerability that exposed that—indeed—her words were laced with undisclosed desires. “ i want to, though. you do… so fuckin’ much for me. i’d be lost without you, mase, really, i would be. ” she’s grateful, unspeakably so. having mason around had become so crucial to esmerelda. she couldn’t picture a life that didn’t involve him in some capacity. his flesh against her’s is red hot. her nails lightly dig into his skin without fully realizing, fingers greedy to explore the uncharted territory of his body. she refrains, somehow, tongue wetting her inferior lip as she gazes up at him. “ let’s make it a night to remember then, ” she suggests, voice trailing. she’s pulled out of the trance quickly as he grabs her hand, trying to quell the rapid beat of her heart. she’s standing in front of him as he plays with her fingers, staring at him with adoration dancing in her hues. “ yup, ” she quips, voice laced with affection. she reaches over for the bottle of vodka and takes a swig, but only one. she wants to be sober if she’s tattooing him. “ i’m still heartbroken you’re not down for my face on your dick, ” esme giggles. she should be gathering her supplies, setting up the gun and the ink. but he’s holding her hand, and she can’t pry herself from this. she wouldn’t dream of it. 

                lips curl into a smirk , teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his gaze falls upon the side of her face , his hand still placed upon the lower of her back , and then he’s speaking , words escaping him in a rather teasing tone. “  oh , please esme .  .  . what makes you think i’m not eligible for some good , special , treatment ??  ” his tongue darts over his bottom lip , the corners of his lips twitching as he gazed at her. perhaps if he knew the things she fantasised about , mason would’ve made a move a while ago - regardless of whether they were friends , she’s someone he after all trusts more than anything , an attraction had always been there between the pair , and he certainly doesn’t care about her position within the savages. if he could drag her out of the gang he would , he’d do so in a heartbeat , fears that his people would hurt her - for what she was , a savage. yet he’d still remain loyal to the femme , knows well enough that if someone were to lay a hand on esmeralda he’d kill them , kill them without hesitation or remorse. “   who says i can’t ?? maybe you’re the one that’d have trouble keeping up , huh ??  ” there it is , that cocky grin of his - one which is only accentuate by the small laugh parting his lips. truthfully he’s completely oblivious to what he’s doing to her , oblivious to the thoughts that rushed through her mind involving him , he thinks she deserves the world , someone that wasn’t fucked up like him - someone that would perhaps drag her out of this mess they’re both stuck in. he knows he can’t , can’t give her peace , can’t leave valdez and forget about both cobras and savages. he’d made his siblings a promise , that he’d continue to fight , to avenge the lives they could’ve had. esmeralda somehow always managed to make him forget about the grief , about the feud between savages and cobras , and he knows that she’s too good to him , that he endangers her by remaining around her , yet he knows - he can’t stay away , would never be able to force himself to. “  i could say the same though , y’know ?? that i’m feeling a real lack of esmeralda , doesn’t exactly make me happy , if i’m honest. ” there he is , using her own words in a teasing manner , soft breathy chuckle parting his lips as they’ve curled into a smirk , his pearly white teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he attempted to muffle the laughs. he’ll always believe she deserved better than anything valdez could offer her , but he’s not sure if he’d be able to handle the thought of losing someone that meant so much to him , and maybe it’s what makes him so selfish , that he doesn’t push her away to keep her safe , or that he doesn’t try to convince her to leave the cobras and valdez. “   it was a rush , i’m sure you would’ve loved to witness it all though , it was hilarious.  ” and dangerous too really , he knows his name and everyone else’s involved in the fire would be soon flying around , rumours spoken by the citizens of valdez , yet mason didn’t care. as long as non of this would compromise her , things would be fine. he doesn’t want anyone to figure out she’s spending more time than she should with someone like him , someone who quite literally set the caito mansion on fire , and took part in the sick game that was revenge. he hopes with all of his heart that he wouldn’t put her in danger. his hand lifts , and he’s allowing himself to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear , his gaze kept upon her own. “  well you do so much for me as well y’know ?? and .  .  . i really wouldn’t know where to begin , since there’s so much to thank you for. you keep me sane , really. ” he knows he’ll always be able to count on her - no matter what. it didn’t matter if he was a cobra and she was a savage , that rivalry was something which was supposed to exist between them , but it does not. he’d really lose it if someone hurt her - licking his lips his gaze flickers to her lips , watching the way her tongue darting across her bottom lip. he’s tempted , but he doesn’t make a move , - regardless of how hypnotising the sight is , or how soft her lips look as she speaks - he only takes her hand to stop himself , to prevent himself from ruining things. and then he’s sat down , digits continuing to toy with her own , his gaze fixated upon her features , words causing a laugh to escape him. “   dick tattoos are a big no though - but i bet the only reason you want your face on my dick is because y’know that’s what imma be looking at when i jack off , huh ?? that’s cheeky.  ” he continues to toy with her digits for a small moment , his voice teasing as gaze lingers upon her own - but after a few moments he let’s go , turns his back to her - hand lifting to run through his hair. “   do whatever you want , yeah ?? i know whatever you do is gonna look good so .  .  .  ” 

[ofthanatophobia]

@dadivosos

         it’s not something he expects , for her to be phoning him - today out of all days ( valentine’s?? ) , but he picks it up - lifts the device to his ear , only to hear her speak. “   okay , okay - uh .  .  . are you alright ??  ” wait .  .  . was she drunk ?? mason can’t seem to be able to tell whether she was or not - but regardless , he wants to make sure she’s fine. “  serafina , okay - why are you drinking ?? ” whatever it was she was up to , he’s putting his coat back on - leaving the bar only to walk down the street. “  where are you ??  ”