axel would have to admit that, of all the things he could have expected when he first arrived in valdez fifteen years ago, none of them included everything that was going on now. truthfully, he wasn’t ever supposed to make the city his home. it hadn’t been part of his plans to settle down here, but it seemed that the violence-ridden town had a way of sucking someone in until they were so entangled by the webs and the connections that they could barely find their way out. so many connections. there were a lot of possibilities at first. many paths for him to choose from and explore. a lot of people to meet and charm ( or annoy ) at his discretion. over a decade later and the spark seems to be almost gone. he’s explored nearly all the possibilities that he wanted to. met all the people he was interested in. made some acquaintances, some enemies. some friends, even. and of course, it wouldn’t be complete without some romance thrown into the mix. one of the things he really hadn’t expected was to get into a serious relationship. they had never been his thing. he was bad at them. had tried a few times throughout the years, but in the end they all crumbled down. with topher, it had been different. a year spent together, and axel hadn’t managed to make the other man hate him ─ or at least he doesn’t think he did. things were changing now, though. he was changing. there was a little voice ringing in his ears and he didn’t know for how much longer he would manage to ignore it. destruction. that’s what it wants. destroy, destroy, destroy, until there’s nothing left. it’s easier that way. hate is easier. ❝ tense? ❞ he asks, quirking his brow as he takes a step forward. ❝ depends on your perspective, i suppose. ❞ could be worse, is what he means. ❝ go ahead ─ ask what you want to ask, topher. ❞
in his forty-five years of life, topher had had one relationship. it had lasted a year and it was good. and it had been with axel. axel had been the only person outside of his family that topher had ever really let his guard down with. he felt safe with him, like he was home. of course, it had ended, as all things did. the feelings part of it, at least. they still slept together on occasion and topher was beginning to think it was a mistake. as far as he could tell, in the six years since their relationship had ended, his feelings for axel had never really dissipated. he thought they had. hell, he had hoped they had. but they seemed not to have moved a muscle. his sisters all still asked about axel, when he was going to come to the next family gathering. it had his heart ache and bile rise in his throat. he hated how much they fucking loved him. didn’t they realise he was trying to forget about him? topher remembered his eldest sister telling him that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. topher had done that. it had yet to work. and it was stupid, really. they weren’t anything more than friends who slept together sometimes. friends was a term that topher used loosely in this situation, too. it was hardly like the pair of them met up for lunch and discussed their lives together. they just two men who liked to fuck. and it might have killed topher to accept that, but he had. whatever feelings that remained for axel were ignored and buried down. deep down. as stupid as that was. it was working. until now. until he had heard what axel said on the phone. about an unborn child and being married. god, that twisted like a knife in his gut. the idea of another having axel’s word to cherish them forever. the details were something topher wasn’t sure he would care about, but he knew they mattered. but to him, it didn’t matter why he was married or to who. just that he was. “it’s none of my business.” he doesn’t want to know. it’ll only hurt more if he knows. he inhaled sharply and folded his arms over his chest. why did he have to do this to him? be the only man he had ever loved and look so good all the fucking time. “congratulations. for both the child and the marriage. i guess it’s been a busy two months for you.”