"She/he spit up on my best shirt!"
"It's your turn. I rocked him/her earlier."
"We need to baby proof the house."
"Did you hear that? That was a cough"
"Do we need to go to the hospital?"
"Sweetheart, it's just a little cold. Nothing to worry about."
"Momma's little baby, yes you are."
"Daddy's little baby, yes you are."
"Don't baby talk her/him. It's bad for development."
"Did you read Dr. Spock?"
"She/he won't stop crying!"
"I need to feed the baby."
"Are you going to breast feed?"
"I could just eat those little feet."
"We're finally a family."
"We're going to be parents again."
"We're going to be parents."
"We need more batteries for the baby monitor."
"Can you pick up some butt cream?"
"How is it that we run out of wipes before diapers?!"
"Use the no tear shampoo."
"I think we make good parents."
"How is it that you can make the baby hush and I can't?"
"Should we baptize her/him?"
"You're going to spoil the kid."
"My child deserves the best in the world and I'm going to give it to them."
"Does the babysitter know what she's doing?"
"I have to take the baby to get shots tomorrow."
"The cord finally broke off. Our baby is the proud owner of an innie belly button."
"Finally she/he rolls over."
"God damned terrible twos."
"Remember when we couldn't wait for her/him to talk?"
"She/he's getting a tooth."
"Make sure you warm the bottle up before you give it to the baby."
"My parents want to take the baby for the weekend so we can have time together."
"I am one of those parents that take pictures of everything my child does."
"Does it have all ten fingers and toes?"
"Welcome to the world, little one."