on a semi-related note i am once again going insane over the two shadowfell npcs that would be such a good ship however they literally have no canonical way of meeting and for one of their plots to work she needs to getting ready to drop Hey I'm Getting Married 🥰 on her unsuspecting family and thus. no relationship for them. however they are SuCH good parallels of each other.
i forgot that zaeya is in lore a half-elf but is mechanically [redacted] meaning she doesn't have darkvision mechanically which i decided the in lore reason she doesn't have darkvision is she has shit eyesight and has to wear glasses and has fantasy contacts
"She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair,
But I still love her, I don't really care."
[ID: a ten image moodboard featuring light purple hair, maroon books, a rust-colored eye, an x-ray of skeletal hands reaching toward each other, a purple velvet top, a ginger beard, an x-ray of two skulls kissing, a purple eye, an arm covering one's breasts, and a figure with wavy ginger hair.]
[ID: A ceramic horseshoe crab on a blue-grey background. It is a light green color with gold details, but is otherwise realistic in size and details. End ID]
Also violently. I want very violently. I want her to go scorched earth. I want five scenes earlier to see her husband being diplomatic and calming down a situation so no one gets hurt because his wife is in danger. And then something happens and now he's unconscious and being threatened and his wife just absolutely levels a seven block radius with the force of her refusal to let anyone hurt him.
have had this artylowe fic in my brain for over a month and since it's arty night i finally attempted (successfully) to exorcise it from my brain. these two totally don't care for each other. they don't have unspoken feelings that they don't know how to address. they totally don't.
Artorias tucks his head down below the collar of his coat in an attempt to escape the moist cold. He rounds the corner, his footsteps echoing along with the clacking of Locke's nails on the street. The streets are empty, it's nearly curfew, it's to be expected but eerie nonetheless.
The Bridge of the Dead lies in front of him. Dirty water laps into the screaming mouth of one of the many petrified bodies that form its piers and surface. This is their spot. Where everything started, where everything is held, where he knows she'll be waiting. Artorias swallows back his guilt and leans down to ruffle the top of Locke's head.
He sees another figure, already standing in the middle of the bridge. She's clad in a dark, hooded jacket, looking out at the street lights reflecting off the river. Locke begins to trot a few steps before him —a good sign— and the musty smell of wet dog briefly replaces the odor of death and decay that permeates the city.
Artorias approaches, standing to face the water alongside her. She's scratching underneath Locke's chin, who groans in satisfaction. The sight brings the slightest curve of a smile to his face.
Where do you go? He reaches out to her mind.
To stand balance. Barlowe replies.
It's out of habit that they use this passphrase, but he sees her shoulders slacken and feels a sense of stillness settle in his own anxieties. They're both here. They're safe. Unharmed, at least noticeably.
We're moving southeast, Barlowe gets right to business, there are more undead coming in over the walls. Shepherds were moving in on our location; Dannel put more bodies on the streets.She's drifting even farther from where his cell is. It shouldn't worry him. He knows she's more than capable of taking care of herself and taking care of their own. She doesn't need him to be near her.
Artorias draws a small parcel from his pocket and reaches to drop it into her own. This time, he found dried sage and rosemary to infuse in the soap. We're solid. I'm working on finding the right couriers to get supplies to you and Calliope. Fresh antitoxin, acid, and alchemist's fire. Roxy and I went into the Lycaeum for a supply run. We stayed clear of the undead and there's still no sign of any Phiarlans.
Barlowe puts her hand in her pocket, and the Harbinger?
No. Artorias grumbles, I still don't understand what they want. Any news from Callie?She's still moving faster than either of us, setting clinics up and breaking them down before the guard can keep up. He glances to watch her while she relays information. Her alert blue eyes, the crows feet at the corner of them and old laughter lines. He hasn't seen her laugh in weeks.
Barlowe's eyes flick towards him. He looks back at the water.
We should get going before night watches start. He hears her say.
You're right. He agrees, stay safe, you know how to reach me if you need to and if we need to move fast, I'll find a way to get a message to you.
She nods silently and turns to walk away. He taps his thigh twice, Locke's ears prick up and she turns to trail after him as he turns his back to Barlowe. He hears her footsteps fall upon stone faces, heads, and hair of Karrnathi soldiers getting further as she crosses the bridge.
The sound stops.
"Artorias." His name echoes off of the stone and water.
He turns, she's several meters away, speaking to him aloud. This is not protocol. He sees her inhale deeply before she says, "There's a rumor that she's working on something new at the kennels."
Artorias frowns, "Okay. I can get someone to look into it. I'll see you on the other side?"
Barlowe replies, "See you on the other side." She turns her back on him again and he watches her. It's only when he cannot see her anymore that he turns away too.
arty going alone to do recon, sitting in a locked bathroom while his familiar, locke, who was in Bird Form for the first time flew around an evil scientist lab, rolling a nat1 on stealth such that arty's former boss, our villian realized that finch that got into her lab was someone's familiar.
then proceeded to roll a 9 on a stealth check to vacate the premise as arty himself and decided 'fuck it' and just jumped off the floating island again instead of going the normal way down.
taking only 18 points of damage when he hit the ground and when a guard asked him if he was okay, arty, disguise self'd as a random guard said, "the guard shift was so fucking boring dude" before LEAVING
the above escapade is what landed arty in hot water with his not-girlfriend because she is so worried about how reckless he is and he is so bad at not having the thought process of "i can survive things no one else can so what's a little bit of pain to keep the people i love safe"
artylowe interactions of: barlowe taking arty's glass of whiskey upon realizing he, again, jumped off of a floating island and him going "stealing a man's whiskey is very lethal." the reply "testing a woman's patience is very lethal." and "noted, i'm sorry." // "you know i would've gone with you," "yeah but i didn't want to put anyone else in danger", "just you?", "well yea-" dm voice: you get the sense she intentionally leaves message range. // arty apologizing kind of and admitting that sometimes his lack of care for himself is a bit selfish & barlowe saying "i know it would take an act of god to kill you but it still worries me"
tfw arty 2.0 is roxy's brother
arty managing to knock lady seryan off of a 35 ft. ceiling bc of the bullshit that was his build + the magic item i took for the oneshot (a fire giant potion flavored as juicing himself LMAO)
roxy in her true changeling form and also telling arty that rusk is her brother. roxy threatening lady seryan and arty realizing how amoral & murderous roxy is atm and going "okay, i'll follow your lead, what can i do?" and covering roxy's back.
lady seryan being mouthy and sinister to roxy and arty dropping the pommel of his sword onto her jaw dealing 17 points of damage to her ☠️
roxy ripping lady seryan's throat out
my only nat20 of the night being arty's wolfhound familiar locke attacking and knocking arty 1.5 prone.
arty killing arty 1.5 by putting a shatterstick in its mouth and blowing it up
arty earnestly asking tashalaryx, a draco-lich who has taken the roof off of the building "hey can i help you" and then proceeding to get all of his people to safety, set the four remaining shattersticks to blow the entire vermishard up, surviving 40d6 and then 20d6 points of damage from the explosion and falling from the vermishard.
the reveal that the "dragon" tashalaryx was trying to find to kill is calliope, one of arty's closest friends and he never knew, and she's a changeling and "a good liar" and the story is one we will hear another time in our next episodical oneshot 👀
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