BORDERLINA

between two opposite sides but never in the middle

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🎤 she's an alien, alien on the floor 🎤

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[notheartlessyet-blog]

I never really saw the end coming. But I guess I was just blind.

When I finally felt him leaving (which was probably well after he did) I wanted to scream :

“Please don’t go, I can still be heartless”.

But it would have been a terrible lie. I was madly in love. And it wouldn’t change anything because the problem wasn’t my love. The problem was me. 

There is rarely reciprocity with love. We can’t control our feelings. I can’t blame him for not loving me. And no one can blame me for loving him.

[notheartlessyet-blog]

It was the same with drugs.  The hardest part was the day after.

I felt exhausted and nostalgic. It was like my mind decided to stay with him and my empty body forced itself to leave.

On the one hand I was exhausted by not sleeping enough but also because I couldn’t concentrate on anything.

All I was able to do was to replay last night and save as many memories as I could.

[notheartlessyet-blog]

Every night I spent with him was precious and seemed better than anyone. We didn’t talk a lot but I never got bored or annoyed.

He tasted like ecstasy. 

Every second seemed electric and no matter what we were doing: having dinner, watching a movie, listening to music, making love… I always felt comfortable with him next to me (penis incident aside).

[oh-borderlina-blog]

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