Gasp.
Have you ever turned someone down due to an alarming amount of reasons that didn't even really make sense? Have you ever been pursued by that same person regardless of your craziness only to eventually realize that yes, you are indeed crazy and yes, this person just may be perfect for you?
For too many years now I have been trying to find compatibility in people who at times did make me happy but never quite loved me for me. There has always been something missing in my relationships but regardless I fought for them till the bitter end. Not this year. After my last relationship I went a bit sour. I gave up on love and every happy feeling that went with it. I said I was looking but all of my actions said otherwise and I managed to put myself pretty deep into a hopeless hole lined with reasons why I will never be happy. I did a couple things I am far from proud of and then tried to make myself fall in love with a hopeless scenario. I wanted everything I couldn't have while my closest friends who saw my destructive behavior tried to resurrect my positive attitude with no success. One friend however was trying to do something different.
Since I moved to Florida my work friends have been the closest too me and on Halloween my favorite partner in crime told me he thought he was falling in love with me. I was a mess and all I could think about was how much I didnt like myself and how much I wouldn't be able to handle hurting him and ruining our amazing friendship so spent the next five months trying to push him away but he never gave up on me. He invited me out almost every weekend, he always had time to talk, and as time moved on I couldn't help but notice how hard I was falling for him too. I found myself inviting him to the beach with my family and always coming up with reasons why I should spend time with him.
We started working out together and created a dieting challenge that cut out pizza, pasta, beer, and bread from our diets and suddenly “I was at his house every night dreading the second I would have to go home... Then catch phrase night happened. Talk about a nerd relationship. You know you’re bad when the moment you realize you've fallen happens over an epic catch phrase battle.
We stayed up almost all night with his friends just crushing Coors light and shots (totally against our diet) and then we went to bed too intoxicated to make it back to your houses and as far as he and I knew we were still just friends with very little chance of more but we slept on the guest bed together and in the morning I realized I had been in his arms all night and we hadn't moved at all. Not only had we not moved but I think I was more comfortable in his arms than I have ever been in my entire life.
When we left to o back to our seperate lives that morning we talked very little about the change between us that we both felt and instead he just kissed my cheek and told me he would see me that night. I knew I was done for. I knew all of the walls I had built had crumbled. I knew I had to tall him before it was too late that if he still wanted me, I would be his.
The next night we went out with the rest of our work friends and while everyone else was outside smoking I took Nick’s face in between my hands and kissed him how I had wanted too and told him I was done fighting him. We started dating a couple weeks later at the deadpool premier and I have fallen in love with the boy that never gave up on me.
Sometimes the best things in life happen when you don’t want them, sometimes they appear when you're not looking.
I don’t know what the future will hold for us but I don’t think either of us is going anywhere any time soon. He just may be the nerd of my dreams.
