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@atsadi
you gotta include this photo
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This is it. The internet has come full circle. You can all go home now. Weāre done.
rain doggoĀ
(via)
golden retrievers are still the only breed iāve ever worked with that go absolutely WILD with excitement for the rain most dogs tolerate it, some hate it, but golden retrievers, man. theyāre on another level
lost in the sauce
he flat
wet beast wednesday
Before June I have to share one of my favorite tiktoks
Happy pride month to everyone! and to my fav genderfluid, agender; demon and angel.
More of you need to learn about these āļø
A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.
I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.
All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."
But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.
It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.
I really need a stylus
One of my biggest literary pet peeves is when historical or history-inspired fiction pretends that "courting" is a synonym for "dating". Usually it's just a one-to-one word swap--in a modern context, these characters would be dating, but this is olden times, so they call it courting instead. Sometimes they'll pretend there's a shade of difference, and that courting is a more serious exploration of marriage or something. But I read a lot of fiction that was actually written during these historical eras, and the word "courting" is never used like that.
Two people do not decide that they are "courting". One person decides to "court" someone else. It's an action, not a stage in the relationship. A man decides to court a woman because he wants to encourage her to have romantic interest in him. He's trying to win her favor. It's not an exclusive relationship--a woman could be courted by multiple men at once. She'll spend time getting to know the guy who's interested in her, but they won't officially define their relationship as one where they only show romantic interest in each other. If they reach a point where they want it to be exclusive, that's when you propose.
There's no middle ground--either you're getting to know each other, or you're committed to marrying each other. This idea of a period where you kind of commit to each other until you decide you definitely want to get married is a modern one, and it occurs in eras where they use the word "dating" to describe it. The closest equivalent I can think of are times and places where they'd talk about a couple "stepping out together", but they're still not calling it "courting". Words have meaning, and the word "courting" has never meant that, so stop using it that way!
the other mild historical disjoint i run into is when people talk about dating in the fifties like it automatically meant exclusivity. the whole reason we have the expression "going steady" is because the default was to or "go around with" or "go out with" multiple people. not in the sense of being in a stable polyamorous vee, but in the sense that archie is actively "seeing" both betty and veronica during the entire time the two girls are competing for his attention and they're both seeing other guys to make him jealous, and nobody involved considers this "cheating."
bizarrely, America has in many ways gotten more conservative about dating since World War II.
I ran into a truly wild cultural misunderstanding with my father some years ago, when I had to explain to him what āhookup cultureā actually was, and that the thing he assumed it was was actually what we call ācruising cultureā. His response was āhow is that different from dating?ā and when I explained how it was different, he said, and please note that this a direct quote: āThatās ridiculous! You canāt expect a woman to stop fooling around with other guys for anything less than a marriage proposal. I mean, sheās not a prostitute, you canāt buy her.ā Now obviously thereās like⦠a lot to unpack there, but I think itās pretty darn illustrative of a substantive cultural shift around the assumption of monogamy!
Also, following this, I asked my mom what her thoughts were on the matter, and she said that while she āwouldnāt put it in those termsā she broadly agreed, and thought that anyone expecting any sort of exclusivity when a marriage proposal wasnāt at least on the very immanent horizon was ānuts, honestly.ā I hesitantly asked if she was including relationships with premarital sexual activity in that, and her response was āOf course. I mean, gosh, you know your Aunt Terri used to have a guy for every day of the week before she finally settled down.ā
And this was when I learned, to my shock, that the oft-repeated story of how āAunt Terri used to have a guy for every day of the weekā didnāt just mean āAunt Terri had a full dance cardā but rather meant that Aunt Terri had a period of her life where she literally dated exactly seven guys at once, all of whom she was sleeping with (or, my mom was quick to disclaim, āwell, fooling around with, I donāt know how far she actually went with any of them, but they were definitely all fooling around behind closed doorsā), on a literal weekly rotation. Like, they had a schedule. A schedule that all seven of the guys knew.
America has gotten a lot more conservative about dating, actually.
I understand that you were aiming for a morally grey protagonist, but in practice what you've ended up with is more of a moral beige.
OP rachaelblanchard29 on TikTok ā”
Every Website right now: Give us a scan of your driver's license or be banished. It's for safety.
Every Website for the last 10 years: Oopsies we had another massive data breach! Tee-hee!
Every website 10 years ago: REMINDER: do not share personal information online!
I know people don't like having the blindingly obvious suggested to them but the following do have to regularly be said to people I know so:
Have you tried turning it off and then on again?
Is it plugged in properly?
What does the manual say?
You can probably Google that
Have you eaten?
I know you remember making the food but did you actually eat it?
Well do it sitting down then
You're probably having a reaction to one of the ingredients, read the label and see if there's anything in there that you recognise
Okay did you actually tell him that? With your mouth? Using words?
The painkillers only work if you take them
Cool had has self-flagellating actually made this work before or?
Yeah okay you 'must remember to' but you remember to NOW so do it NOW
Put it in your fucking calendar
Do you want me to show you how to set up reminders
So use BOTH hands then
... the suggestions of the blindingly obvious will continue until people demonstrate consistently that they don't need it.
did you take your fucking meds
Speaking as a former teacher, people have a way of ignoring the obvious answers, because they're obvious. The mind has a way of going, "a problem this big can't be that simple, there's gotta be more to it."
Which is to say,
did you drink water lately?
Yāall making women in their thirties feel old is my villain origin story actually
ARE YOU AN ELF?!
Questionable math but thirty IS young.