truth to stupid

daily confession of the misunderstood

[ohgilling]

I want to get lost in a city

I want to get lost in the jungle

I want to get lost between people

I want to get lostbto find me again

I am praying i met you in the intersection

It's been a while,love

It's been a long time coming..

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I hope this isn't an annoying question, but I was wondering if you could explain maybe in more literal terms what Amy meant by "take your own garbage out" - or what it means to you?

Amy Winehouse used that phrase a lot. She loved that phrase. She was all about the “be your own person, take your own garbage out” motto and I think it’s an absolutely beautiful phrase because it stands for belief in truth and individuality and authenticity – it also has strongly to do with the ability to take responsibility for yourself and thus own up to your bullshit. Amy was a highly self-aware, private person; she didn’t like it when people interfered whether they interfered for good or not. She literally took her own garbage out (there’s tons of pictures with her realistically taking the garbage out) but I’m pretty sure she adored the metaphoric power of that certain phrase. It stands for empowerment and it also stands for the actual process of being in control of what goes wrong in your life and never blaming it on others. When you take the garbage out you make a choice. You clean the room so as to make inner room for yourself to function. But a choice comes into play. And one ought to be in a place of honesty with one’s self so as to make these crucial decisions irrespective of what’s going to happen in the future.

[ohgilling]

growing for this..

[ohgilling]

halo 2020, it’s February eh?

dah lama banget nggak ngecek tumblr gue ini ahaha. 

[ohgilling]

Selepas Hujan

Bunga bunga basah, dirantai titik -titik air

Dijamah hembusan angin

Terbuai, dibuai

Seperti musik latar yang mengalun mesra di pesta pernikahan

Bebatuan pasrah pada dingin yang merasuk cepat ke sela sela tanah

Rumput rumput menerbarkan harum lembut di udara

Memaksa memori lama mewujud sejenak, melenggang ke ruang emosi seenaknya lalu pergi sebelum pamit

Langit masih mendung

Ada janji-janji yang belum ditepati

Ada banyak doa yang belum sampai

Ada pertemuan yang belum tuntas

Ada harapan yang tak kunjung lepas

Kepada teman teman yang hilang entah

Kepada kekasih yang melarikan diri

Kepada bapak yang sudah lama mati

Kepada gunung, pantai, dan bebatuan karang dan ombak yang merdeka

rindu dan resah memilin urat nadi

Mungkin suatu kali

Ketika kau sendiri menyepi

Pelangi dan beberapa peri kecil, singgah dan menghampiri

[ohgilling]

I remember the street, the smell, and the nuance

I was there. Alive. Happy. Hungry

All because of Allah.

Alll because of Allah.

All because of Allah.

Beautiful beautiful day.

》》São Paulõ, Brazil. June 2019》》

[ohgilling]

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim

○●Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang

[edgarhamas]

“Salah Gaul”

@edgarhamas

“Iman tak dapat diwarisi, dari seorang ayah yang bertakwa. Ia tak dapat dijual beli. Ia tiada di tepian pantai…”

Syair Nasyid Raihan itu menampar ekspektasi kita. Kita kira jika ayahnya taat, anaknya pasti taat. Nyatanya, anak Nabi Nuh saja malah durhaka.

Begitulah sunnatullah yang dibentangkan Al Qur'an. Yang mau ke surga, ya harus mengikhtiarkan. Yang mau hidayah, juga perlu mencari-cari, karena ia bukan warisan. Salah satu caranya adalah, “wong kang sholeh kumpulana”, berkumpullah dengan lingkungan yang shalih.

“Dan barang siapa menghendaki kehidupan akhirat dan berusaha ke arah itu dengan sungguh-sungguh, sedangkan dia beriman, maka mereka itulah orang yang usahanya dibalas dengan baik.” (Al Isra 19)

Berkenalanlah dengan siapa saja, berkolegalah dengan siapapun; tapi pastikan lingkaran sahabatmu adalah mereka yang benar taatnya.

Sebab teman kita adalah cerminan diri kita. Berkali-kali Ulama kita menekankan “Ash Shuhbah Ash Shalihah”, berkawan dengan orang-orang yang benar taatnya. Yang jika kita sedang tersengal di jalan kebenaran, ia memberi siraman segar nasihat dan semangkuk semangat.

Salah gaul bukan hanya akan menciptakan laku sikap yang salah, tapi juga arah hidup yang berantakan, ideologi yang hambar dan cara berpikir yang sesat. Karena kepala kita diisi oleh kanan dan kiri yang tidak menurut titah-Nya, akhirnya jatuh pula dalam salah tujuan.

Seperti Kan'an tersulut provokasi teman-temannya untuk mengabaikan ayahnya, Nabi Nuh. Ayahnya memberi arahan untuk menaiki bahtera, namun karena kanan kiri Kan'an ikut mengoceh menertawakan Nuh, Kan'an pun jadi gengsi dan berkata, “Aku akan mencari perlindungan ke gunung yang dapat menghindarkan aku dari air bah!” (Huud 43)

Zaman makin pelik, dan menjadi penggenggam iman bagai menggenggam bara api. Akan ada pentas dimana orang-orang shalih di akhirat akan menanyakan teman-temannya di dunia agar menemaninya di surga. Pastikan namamu ada dalam daftar mereka.

Atau lebih indah lagi; jadikan dirimu sendiri orang yang shalih dan mushlih.

[ohgilling]

I take my time

Today I went out alone. Trying to reach myself, to thank to myself, to blame my self and demand immediate evaluation, to breath, but to connect more indeed.

[ohgilling]

You are the only one keep checking how i feel, what's in my thoughts, and what i prefer to do

—he said this just now. I'm helplessly huggin him so tight

[ohgilling]

Marhaban ya Ramadhan

—Best time in the world

[ohgilling]

O world, i dreamed about setting my footstep in a strange and faraway land..i hoped to witness magic and wonders.

Self pray

[ohgilling]

Kuning, tinggi, langsing..

Keadaan yang mana kalau terjadi pada manusia adalah aduhai namun kalau pada benih yang lulus semai adalah sedih braaay..

Nama gaul dari gejala diatas adalah etiolasi.

Sungguh pak choy, tumbuhlah dengan sehat.

[ohgilling]

Allah surprised me this morning

MasyaAllah, Ta barakallah. La hawla walaaquwata illabillah.

[ohgilling]

Mukbang, .. Ugh

Apa yang bisa dipetik dari menonton orang makan di youtube?

Bikin ngiler? Ya seringkali. Bikin pingin jajan makanan ini & itu? Hmm.. Iya seringnya.

Tapi saya ga habis pikir dengan mukbang yang:

1. Makan dalam porsi luar biasa buanyak

2. Makan dalam ukuran yang tidak masuk akal = luar biasa guedeee

3. Makan mahluk yang masih dalam keadaan hidup

Itu teh apa sih? Mereka teh apa sih? Kalian yang doyan nonton begituan teh gimana sih?

Itu sifat rakus dipertontonkan dan dibombardirkan sebagai tren. Tren apa? Tren rakuskah?? Cuma karena ingin viewers banyak jadi tren seaneh itu difollow juga?

Saya benar benar ga habis pikir.

Contoh nih ya, Pernah ga sih kalian, membayangkan, lobster yang guedeeee bangeeet itu perlu berapa tahun buat jadi segede gitu? Itu bukti nyata alam yang menakjubkan, sumber cerita cerita dongeng, oh em ji.. Itu tuh rantai ekosistem yang penting.

Terus kalo cuma buat dimakan, ditonton, kok ya kalian tega.. Baik yang makan dan yang nonton.

Tau ga sih, lobster itu ga ada pabriknya??

Belum lagi yang makan gurita idup idup.. Hhh.. Sampe ga tau mau mulai dari mana.. Do you guys insane?

Its difficult to eat—to begini with, not to mention Fucking CRUEL! Again, untuk yang melakukannya dan yang menontonnya.

Gurita itu adalah salah satu mahluk terpintar di dunia fauna loh.. Tau ga kalian? Kemampuan beradaptasi dan survival mereka waaarrrrebiasyah!!!

Makan baby octopus aja kadang gue ga tega, ini lagi makan gurita nya, bapaknya/ibunya bayi-bayi octopus di sushi bar itu..

Apakah lumrah melihat kekejian dan kerakusan kayak gitu sekarang ini?

Segitunyakah orang orang mendewakan status viral dan jumlah viewers/follower yang banyak?

Can you guys move to other planet? You guys freak and creep and you know what, heartless.

To the world, to the poor people that might watch you eat like you have endless your belly and money your pocket, to the animals you eat without concerning anything rather than making your video viral and gets the highest views, to the younger generation ; cause you teach them that greed is normal, animal is only food product, and world pada a strange place where human destroy everything with eating just to get famous and rich.

There you have it. Not taking it back

[ohgilling]

Biggest mistakes numero: uno

I took one of my bestfriends to go and work with me in the same office, never ever ever expecting her to stab me in the back, but she did.

I never ever ever thought that she would doing this to me. But hey, what do i know. Mom is right, money has no friends nor sister.

I was there when she was down and all, and she was there to watch me fall. Thanks, nice to know you. Goodbye!

[ohgilling]

Yesterday, inside this moving car, i openly weeped. I felt like I wanted to cry since the moment I woke up, literally I want to cry, like I want to buy delicious food. I craved to cry.

Yesterday morning, i delivered my son to school as usual. I bought my usual coffee, drank it the usual way, took the usual bus to the train station, tap in as usual, hop on the car number 5 as usual, choose the seat as usual, everything just replaying like usual..

Until i hit my spotify, i typed "Al Baqarah" Out of the blue. Usually, I hit my #subtlepump playlist—playing Johji or Rich Brian. I still have no idea why i typed that.

And there it is, the sound of the Qur'an. It burst out into my ears and i cant helped my self, I cried. I openly weeping inside a moving car, watching sunrays seeps through the car's windows.

I followed the recites, I blew. I have no idea whats the meaning— i am happy to hear it but weirdly, I felt so inferior at the same time. I thought of how small I am, that i am almost nothing, covered with black and icky dust of my sins..

I felt like I'm longing for Allah forever.. I felt like powerless, desperate.. But in that bizzare moment I realized, actually Allah just gave me a gift.. In form of a longing heart

Ya Rabb, please let me longing for You everytime i could

I begged You to not leaving me Ya Rabb, I am nothing without you, you are everything I need, to you only I pray, to you only I feel safe, I feel welcomed, I believed and I trust

It is a pleasure I hope Allah will not take away from me. The intesity of my tears has made me shooked and began to understand that i was lost in this big universe.. And i felt so hopeless until a point of speechless.

I remember came home and by dzuhur time, I push my head so deep in my sujud, I cried again. Like a baby, I really felt like a child crying over things a kid did not understand to a mom, I moaned and cried helplessly.

I hope Allah fix me, fix my words and action, fix my ahlaq.. Fix my iman, fix the way I pray.. Fix me ya Rabb, fix every broken and every wrongs in me.. Please to never leave me, not even in for a blink of an eye

I wrote this post emotionally, but Alhamdulillah I am feeling better now. I hope whoever Reading this, God gives you strength to keep moving on and endures. Whatever you're facing, do not surrender to the sorrows and the pains.

[ohgilling]

Currently experiencing bad thinking transforming to real physical illness

Thank you, MIL. You officially ruined me.