So Young , Trying To Be Famuos

Phoenix Az🥀

[jasons-favorite-victim]

Pictured: Michael Myers during his stay at Smith’s Grove Sanitarium (1970)

[rainy-autumn-day]

Autumn officially begins Sunday, September 23

in 25 days

Halloween is on Wednesday, October 31

in 63 days

[ohitsautumn23666]

If tears could be bottled

[ohitsautumn23666]

Another night my anxiety takes over

As I lay in bed gasping for air , crying in a quiet room ... surrounded with nothing but darkness

As I sit up and catch my breath I wipe my tears away ... turning on the light trying to understand my emotions , feelings , thoughts

Why me .? Why now .?

I pray .. for a Sign of help , for someone to heal me ... for someone to help me through this ..;

I sit in the bath as it fills up , splashing water on my face , trying to snap back in to reality talking myself out of relapsing .. rethinking all my goals I made for myself ..

stuck in a depression.. what is my motivation , maybe I should be use to this .. I’m only playing to lose ...

Different only changing in the distance ..

my conscience makes me want to die inside ..

While having a mental break down my breath stops , the room gets smaller.. my eyes get watery... trying to catch my breath I fall to the floor and cry ... of pain ..

[ohitsautumn23666]

depression isn't always at 3 AM, sometimes it hits you at 3 PM when you're with friends, halfway through a laugh and suddenly you just stop and look as everyone else around you is having the time of there life’s as you still there as if you saw a ghost , trying to snap back in to reality.

[ohitsautumn23666]

10:01 ~

I don't regret losing you anymore. I am now convinced that losing myself in the process of chasing you is more remorseful and I truly regret all the sleep I've lost thinking of ways on how to be deserving of you when I should be helping myself to be better. I regret all the words that I've said and I am taking them all back, I guess the “ I can't live without you “ drama is just too much, I can't live without me helping myself is what it should be and that's what I'm about to do. 🤧 I know my worth now .

[ohitsautumn23666]

Drugs ..

drugs are all fun and games until your sitting and watching someone you love lose them self to them .. You were never really there,

And when you came around, You chose drugs over everything..

At least you loved yourself, that's a plus....

Well at least I thought you loved yourself..

everything is wrong

nothing is right

If I had a wish

I would re-live the day you told me, you wouldn’t stop your drugs ..

hiding from the problems, as they fuck the real world up ..

I'm slowly losing hope, and my minds beginning to race

looking around not knowing, how We got to this place wish we could of fixed it before it was to late ...

I hope you find the help you deserve ..

until we speak again

I love you ....

[ohitsautumn23666]

Anxiety isn't ... breaking down ... and crying ...

It's waking up in the middle of the night ...

while your heart is beating fast .. trying to catch your breath...

depression isn't wanting to self-harm ..

It's feeling alone , and being stuck ,

Feeling dead , while being so alive ..

Depression is feeling like your walking around drowning while everyone else is continues breathing ..

While all this happens you find your self pushing away , hiding from reality...

trying to understand all the good , yet bad is all you know ..

So many just laugh because of not knowing on how to help , ; not understanding ...

never been through bad , only been handed good ...

how unfair... finally found something real so out of touch .. don't dare to let it go ...

They may just be your angel ..

But can you hear me .. screaming...

I hope you can find away to save me ..

A light from my depression

[ohitsautumn23666]

I use to love him , now I realize

🌻🌻