not dead yet.

{ The point of life is living. The point of death is dying. Which I guess makes me totally pointless. } Almost. Immortal.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] kenny 

[MSG] tell me more about your dream. 

[MSG] and did you call it a wet dream because 

[MSG] you woke up covered in sweat

[MSG] or because you needed to change your boxers 

[MSG] i might be persuaded into wearing a collar. if you tell me what i want to know. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; wait i was supposed to be the one extorting you how the fuck did this happen txt; fine ok i put you on a leash and took you out to the backyard txt; obviously you were naked because whats the point if youre not naked txt; made you walk on your hands and knees and get real low so the grass brushed your body txt; fucked you out there where anyone couldve found us txt; also more like had to wash my bedding on account of me sleeping naked and all but it was a wet dream in the ‘had to change my boxers’ sense

[satanwasinsideme]

Now that he had finished washing himself he was procrastinating because the shower was warm and his apartment was cold. He could hear Cookie crying at the bathroom for him so he quickly grabbed the towel and wrapped himself up. He opened up the door and Cookie came in as he stood there drying his hair she started to lick his wet leg, he looked down at her. 

“Trying to clean me?” He smiled fondly at her because he wasn’t mad at her at all. How could he mad at the cutest dog ever. Looked back in the mirror at himself and realized had taken a longer shower than he intended. 

He was dressed and running out the door fifteen minutes later. On the drive over to Kenny’s house, which only took 10 minutes on good day, he fiddled with the radio trying to find something interesting, before he could he was pulling into the others drive way. Stan pulled out his phone. 

I’m here. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

It hadn’t taken Kenny as long as he had anticipated to find some clean clothes--for once in his life he had actually put his clothes away in the closet rather than just letting them have run of his room--but that didn’t meant that the shitty water heater was any quicker to warm up than it usually was.  As a result, he was brushing his teeth when his phone lit up.  Typing out a quick ‘ill be out in less than five minutes or your pizza is free’, he picked up the pace.  

Rinsing his mouth out quickly, he zipped up his jacket and threw on his shoes, grabbing a previously located bottle of Jack to tag along for their consumption tonight, before heading out the door.

He slid into the car with a grin, flashing the whiskey label to Stan, “Hey.  Hope you don’t mind that I brought a friend.”  He pulled the door closed, and his tone switched from joking to borderline fond, “It’s good to see you, dude.  Been a while.”

For rpers: reblog if you are 18+

[broken-soulxbody-deactivated201]

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] the power of boners is real.

[MSG] and scary.

[MSG] it’s not even a full on boner, it’s drunk. my dick is drunk. 

[MSG] i can’t pretend you didn’t say that, but i can forget because i am drunk

[MSG] i’m not drunk im tipsy, i lied.

[MSG] i might not even be drunk at all. 

[MSG] I think my sisters been watering down my vodka.

[MSG] i am drinking watered down vodka now.

[MSG] A bell huh. i want a collar. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; how could you lie to me like that stan txt; if youre tipsy that means you will probably remember me telling you i wanna take care of your boner txt; thats just not right you cant lead a man to think he can confess shit like that and then let him know it was a trap all along txt; but please dont take that as a challenge to get more drunk txt; its probably a good thing your vodka is watered down txt; .... txt; wait you actually want a collar? ok that could totally be arranged

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

what they say: oh how can you ship that, one of the characters is a bad person, are you a survivor using the ship for coping?

what they mean: i have little to no understanding of how fiction works and how people interact with it. i genuinely believe enjoying actions in fiction means condoning them in reality, and i don't have any understanding of the transformative nature of fandom. i think it's my job to go around to people i don't even know and demand they submit their extremely personal history of trauma to me so that i might decide if they are Traumatized Enough to be permitted to enjoy their fictional content. and by logical extension, if someone is unwilling to submit to this query of their background or if they *aren't* Traumatized Enough, then they are a Bad Person and I will start a hate campaign against them about how they get off to IRL abuse/rape. and i'll pat myself on the back as i do it because i'm more Pure than they are, i am a Better Person, and that insulates me from having to do any critical thinking about fiction in my entire life. (also i am lowkey jealous that fandom enjoys things that i don't like so i'm just THRILLED to have an excuse to shit on the people who like the thing that i don't.)

[satanwasinsideme]

Stan laughed into the receiver looking over at his dog, she was almost five years old and he couldn’t believe how much of a shit she still could be. Now she was sitting just outside her cage looking up at Stan. 

“Yea you can love on her all you want but this morning when I woke up she was Cookie Monster. You should have seen the mess she made.” He picked up the last pieces of foam and stuffed them back into the pillow. 

“I’ll come pick you up after I take a shower. And because I know that you miss me and Cookie I’ll be quick.”

Stan smiled to himself genuinely happy about having his old friend come over. “See you soon, dude.”  

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Finally freeing his jacket from it’s terrible blanket prison, Kenny grinned, “You can’t be too mad, Stan, she’s just showing you she cares by trashing your place.  It’s the same logic babies use when they toss mashed potatoes in your face.”

At the mention of a shower, Kenny realized he should probably take one, too.  Which meant finding clean clothes.  Another wonderful adventure to be had.  “I’ll be ready by the time you get here, and I won’t even smell like a meth lab” he affirmed, “see ya.”

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] can you explain to me how in the hell I am drunk but also have a boner. god fucking damn

[MSG] Well i started out with half a bottle and now it’s half of that. 

[MSG] the only way im making sense is talk to text with Siri. 

[MSG] thank god for that bitch siri

[MSG] did you just call me fine? and why a leash. wait that means i’d have to have a collar on. Kenny

[MSG] are you into pet play? 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; jesus stan you had to tell me you have a boner txt; youre going to give me a boner thats not fair that shit shouldnt be contagious txt; half a bottle of what txt; do not make me come over there and aggressively take care of your alcoholic ass txt; and perhaps your boner txt; whoops pretend i didnt say that last bit txt; hail siri for translating stans drunk talk txt; well yeah of course you were wearing a collar txt; it had a nice lil bell on it too txt; yes i like pet play pet play is the bomb

[purple-paw-muses]

Kyle had been planning on the kiss being short and sweet, and he had been preparing to pull away when Kenny suddenly pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and causing the ginger to squeak in surprise. Rather than struggle, however, he froze up, eyes widening in shock. He felt his body grow hot, and his blush deepened.

Kenny finally parted his lips, but he had gently tugged on the ginger’s bottom lip with his mouth and was lightly nibbling on it; Kyle still couldn’t seem to push the blond away.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Spurred in part by the fact that the other didn’t seem to be putting up much resistance, Kenny flicked his tongue against the other’s trapped lip gently.  His fingers worked their way carefully under the other’s hat, finding purchase in the curls of his hair, where he wound them up in the red strands carefully.

He knew he should stop.  That the kiss had probably gone far enough but... fuck.  Kyle was warm and soft and Kenny... well.  It was something he didn’t talk about, something he didn’t even like to face, but he was so in love with all of his friends. Usually he shoved it down, showed it in the ‘appropriate’ way of taking care of them and being a good friend.  But he’d definitely taken a leap down the rabbit hole when he started this whole terrible flirting endeavor.

Running his tongue once more along the other’s lip, he took a chance and flicked it deeper into Kyle’s mouth, testing the waters.

[satanwasinsideme]

@ohmygodyoukilledme

“You and I should drink tonight, I’ll come pick you up, bring you here. We can just hang out.”

Stan switched his cell phone from ear to the other as he  waited for Kenny’s response. It had been some time since the two of them had gotten together. Plus drinking a whole bottle by himself would only cause Stan to pass out. At the moment he was picking up his living room because his dog had decided she needed to pull all the foam stuffing out of the couch pillows. Stan looked at her now and she lowered her head and went to lay down in her cage. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

The blonde considered it for a second.  He didn’t have any plans tonight, and it had been a while since he’d actually just hung out with Stan.  These days he was usually too busy working his own ass off to remember that his friends existed and sometimes wanted his company.

“If you’re offering me free alcohol, you know I’m always in,” he joked, moving to dig through his blankets to find his misplaced jacket.  He had a terrible habit of just... throwing stuff everywhere... "Besides, I probably miss you or something.  Or I might just miss Cookie and I’m using you as an excuse.”

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Jealousy! 50shadesofstanmarsh because he flirts with everyone.

Kenny swallowed hard and tapped his fingers against the glass bottle he was holding.  He wasn’t sure if it was just the alcohol talking, or something else, but there was something about the way Stan’s attention kept wandering at the bar tonight that was driving him crazy.

It was nuts for him to be bothered by it, he was sure.

@50shadesofstanmarsh

[satanwasinsideme]

“Would you like another shot, sir?” The bartender looked at Stan and it took him a few moments to realize he was the one being asked. 

“Yes, two more please.” He redirected his attention from the mysterious red head back to Kenny, but not before she blew him a kiss, to which Stan pretended to grab it out of the air and place it on his cheek. 

“Dude this place is packed with hotties tonight.” Stan winked at the bartender who had just set down their drinks. 

What’s up with you?” He asked Kenny as he slid the shot over to him.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Kenny bit the inside of his cheek so hard he drew blood, taking another swig of his current bottle before setting it down a little too hard.

“Yeah,” he mumbled in agreement, “plenty of fine ass.”

The blonde wasn’t sure why his stomach was all tied in knots today--usually he’d have been just as bad if not worse in the flirting department.  And if the asshole flirting next to him had been anyone but Stan he probably would’ve been trying to play the good wingman.

But the asshole flirting next to him was Stan.

And he wasn’t sure why that was bothering him.

“S’nothing,” Kenny lied, trying to keep his annoyances internal.  He accepted the shot, downing it quickly before giving Stan a weak grin, “I’m going to need something way stronger than this shit tonight.”

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] I honestly think I’ve had to much to drink…

[MSG] you would never use any of this against me unless I was drink so quit lying to me.

[MSG] you share some details first and then I’ll tell you another one of my more shameful kinks. 

[MSG] ALSO i high doubt you’d waste your hypothetical time to watch me wash my ass. 

[MSG] …right now i’d probably tell you anything. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; approximately how much have you had to drink, dude??? txt; you need to be careful with yourself i worry about you asshat txt; ok fine my dream involved putting you on a leash txt; and also i would totally watch you wash your ass that aint a waste of time thats an investment in fine art

[purple-paw-muses]

Kyle continued to blush, staring into Kenny’s eyes as his breath quickened slightly. He wasn’t just nervous now; he was somewhat aroused. 

“I…I-I guess it is…”

He let out a soft squeak as Kenny moved his hand to the back of his head and pulled his face in close for a kiss. Swallowing hard, Kyle puckered up his lips and leaned forward, kissing the blonde on his.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

For a second, Kenny let the kiss be completely innocuous--chaste, simple, barely even lingering--but a second was about as long as anything of that nature ever lasted with the blonde.

Snaking the arm that wasn’t currently holding Kyle’s head around the other’s waist, Kenny tugged their bodies close, deepening the kiss suddenly.  He held him there a few brief moments before parting his lips, tentatively pulling the ginger’s lower lip between his own and giving it a soft nibble.

He was pretty sure that Kyle was going to freak out and push away, but he certainly wouldn’t argue if his friend proved him wrong.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] I am so glad I’m not with you in person. Not for any reason in particular or anything.

[MSG] why did i just send that. Anyways stalking is illegal + my bathroom is on the second floor. You know that. 

[MSG] What do you mean? Hair pulling is baby, that’s why i told you. You didn’t specify how ashamed of the kink i had to be. 

[MSG] What else do you want me to tell you? 

[MSG] Also tell me about the dream now. 

[MSG] i stg i will come over there.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; not for any reason in particular, huh??? txt; that sounds suspect to me txt; and cmon im not afraid of heights stan txt; or the law txt; dont underestimate the lengths i would hypothetically go to txt; tell me about a kink youre ASHAMED of come on txt; im not eric its not like ill blackmail you txt; worst ill do is try to turn it against you next time ive had to much to drink txt; and i thought you were glad you werent with me in person you wouldnt wanna come here and change that would you

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Jealousy! 50shadesofstanmarsh because he flirts with everyone.

Kenny swallowed hard and tapped his fingers against the glass bottle he was holding.  He wasn’t sure if it was just the alcohol talking, or something else, but there was something about the way Stan’s attention kept wandering at the bar tonight that was driving him crazy.

It was nuts for him to be bothered by it, he was sure.

@50shadesofstanmarsh

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

Truth potion!

“I… fuck.”

Kenny was going to have to try to keep his big mouth shut for the next hour or so.  There were way too many embarrassing or potentially harmful things he could say if he had to be 100% truthful.

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

✣

[ Send a ✣ for my muse to accidentally send a text a to your muse that is about them. ]

txt; i had the weirdest wet dream about stan last night dudetxt; I MEAN LOL JUST KIDDING

[satanwasinsideme]

[MSG] Kenny you haven’t seen my balls since we were kids.

[MSG] just wanted to point that out.

[MSG] Oh great kink master, really you have demands. 

[MSG] fine whatever. one of my kinks is…

[MSG] hair pulling

[MSG] there that’s one of my kinks. 

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

txt; i haven’t seen your balls since we were kids that you know of at least txt; maybe im doing some high level stalker shit n watching you in the shower txt; hair pulling??? ooooh so thats how you like it txt; awesome txt; i think im going to need more before i open up my deep dark secrets to you tho

[ohmygodyoukilledme]

M!A Stay, unspecified terminal illness. You're probably going to die.

“I really should’ve seen this one coming.”