Oh Shit I'm Pregnant

The No Bullshit Guide To Pregnancy or at least some resources

[ohshitimpregnant]

Why Am I Here?

Hi there! 

Maybe you just found out you are pregnant, maybe you think you are pregnant, maybe you have been pregnant, but you are just OVER all of the confusing bullshit on the internet. That is pretty much why I am here. 

I am just “officially” beginning my pregnancy journey -- more on that later -- but I wanted to have a place to put resources and take the NO BULLSHIT route, in hopes that maybe I would make some cool mom friends, or maybe someone else is going through the same shit. 

The internet is confusing, the articles are conflicting, and it can lead to more stress and more anxiety and more confusion, and nobody fucking needs that. 

FIRST AND FOREMOST THOUGH A VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER -->

Disclaimer: I am not a fucking doctor, so please consult with your doctor, but I couldn’t find the resources I wanted when I found out I might be pregnant, so I wanted to make sure other people had what I didn’t

None of the fluffy bullshit, I will try my best to not be confusing or contradictory with what I talk about and post about, but it’s important to note that EVERYONE IS FUCKING DIFFERENT, so shit that works or applies to me, might not work or apply to you. And you don’t have to agree with anything or everything I say, but please don’t come here to start internet fights. Find a forum. 

These are my stories. My thoughts. My experiences. Let’s GET THIS STARTED! 

[ohshitimpregnant]

The Baby Chronicles - Part 1

I started my so-called pregnancy journey in January. This was the first “brain spew” of thoughts I had in January (unedited):

“Baby shit is overwhelming… whether you are pregnant, thinking about it, want it, or don’t want it. There is a lot to take in these days. On every baby site it’s like your options are either 

A: i’m pregnant

B: not yet, but thinking about it (aka planning)

C: it happened already

What about the option of like I have no fucking clue if I am thinking about it or not, maybe I am, but maybe I am not? 

Like i have had some version of “baby fever” for the past few months, and I blame a big part of it on covid/ i scroll the internet too much, but everyone I know/ or kinda know/ or knew way back when have announced a baby or a second baby, so it feels like it's being thrown at me. 

Am i happy just being with my boyfriend forever, YES, 100% -- we have been with each other pretty much every single day since November 2019, and then like REALLY EVERYDAY IN OUR APT ALL DAY since March 2020 (that’s 433 days or 1 year, 2 months & 6 days) and it’s been really awesome, so sure, I will happily take that for a lifetime…. 

Some backstory for context, I’m adopted (which is awesome btw) and during quarantine I got all up in Ancestry and did a family tree, you can read about that shit here

I have always had the urge (diff word) for a baby, like a baby from me, because up until a few months ago I had literally never seen anyone else in my biological family, and in some selfish way I have always wanted another human being that looks like me (does that make sense at all?)

So here we are, it's January 2021, and not too long ago my boyfriend and I had “the talk” about kids, and our future, and it was confirmed, we both are down for a baby -- and we left it at that. Flash forward to literally a week ago, and I was checking my Eve app to see when I was gonna be getting the dreaded rag (my period), and my cal showed that I was in “the green” meaning it was my fertile days/ ovulation days. Not to mention I was unreasonably horny/frisky (like more than usual, you can ask my bf).... We have always used the pull out method or “withdrawal” as the science people say it, and this time, i was like “cum in me” (sorry for the graphics, but so is pushing a human out through your hooha) and he did. 

And then we talked, and he was kind of shocked, because I am such a planner type, and I had mentioned wanting to plan, but it felt right. Now we are sitting here in what people refer to as the TTW or TWW, time to wait, or 2 week wait, or something like that. And it has hit me, that 1 that was like a huge decision to just JUMP INTO, but also, if it doesn’t work, then like do we keep trying, or do we plan some real life shit, and do it the “right way”? 

TBT TALE - I got pregnant once, I was in college. It was February 2008 (almost 13 years ago), and I know that because at the time I had been living with a guy, and we had been broken up, but stuck in the same house, and with the same tiny friend group, and we all took a trip to NYC, and stayed with my mom, and got WASTED at a piano bar called Brandy’s on the UES and that was the night I got pregnant. Making the decision to terminate was a big one for me, but I will save that for another day. 

So back to today, I am healthy(ish), I have a boyfriend/partner who loves me and is happy to have a baby with me, but it’s still a pandemic, and we don’t have insurance yet, and we have kind of just been living life as we go. I want a baby, i just wonder if like NOW is the time… or will there ever be a “perfect” time, probably not. 

Our plan as of now, is to 

A: try not to go crazy for the next 2 weeks (mostly me waiting for my period/ a date to take a test)

B: if it takes, then WHOA, life change, we have 9 months to prep for a human

C; if it doesn’t then we can sit back and chill for a minute and plan it out or at least get some more info?

Here’s the thing though, I don’t want to fall down an internet rabbit role regarding pregnancy and fertility. I don’t want to read all the things you should do when trying to conceive. I also don’t want to ask a bunch of people I know, because that’s essentially announcing it to everyone.

Sometimes you have to wonder if you can wish a baby into existence. [YOU CAN’T] I tested positive 3 days ago. Then yesterday i got an NP, but I would like to think that ¾ is way better than ¼ right? And now I am patiently waiting and hoping I don't get my period. Which could make it worse in the sense that stress can delay your period. But I have peed on like 9 sticks in the past 10 days, and every little feeling or drip in my down there, i can feel. And then I rush to the bathroom to make sure it's not my period.

Turns out I wasn’t pregnant. According to science/ doctors/ the internet, I had a chemical pregnancy (I will explain that in another post)