That fucking phrase. Even the very premise of the word ‘hero’ being used made him uncomfortably awkward. As if the annihilation of an entire population was something to be applauded. Even in the post-Bradley era, Central had a problem with letting go of the idea that anything positive came from that dreadful war.
Roy was far from naive; it was baggage that would weigh on his back regardless of where he walked, but that did not mean that he lived comfortably with it. In comparison, each and every time it was mentioned he felt the familiar surge of disgust, shame and guilt. Hero? He was no hero.
And the worst by far was in the East.
They had been surveying an abandoned town close to the desert edge, just him, Hawkeye and Havoc. With policy in place, they had to start building and repairing. The soon Ishval could be repopulated, the better. This town looked promising.
A little boy had approached from it, and had stopped by their envoy, standing with his bright, red eyes fixed on him. It made him nervous. Guilt, as he recognised it. He waited for any kind of reaction, before the boy spoke loudly, a finger pointed at him.
“ You’re the Hero of Ishval.”
He cringed, and he felt Riza stiffen next to him. She, out of everyone, knew the anguish he held about Ishval. God knows she’d spent enough nights waking him from the nightmares. It was bad enough from any regular citizen, but from an Ishvalan no less…
“ I don’t really go by that title.”
“ But that’s what my dad calls you.”The boy was adamant, fierce eyes staying trained on him. Roy prepared himself for the abuse to come; he had known it well over the years. “He says you are Ishvala’s hero, and you’re going to rebuild our country and we’re going to have better lives because of it. He said you’ll be Fuhrer one day, and then Ishvalans will matter and you’ll build a future for me.” He paused, considering the older man for a moment, before nervously speaking once more. “ Will you?”
And for once in his life, Roy Mustang was lost for words. He stared, slack jawed at the young, eager face before him, before the pit of shame and guilt in his chest twisted into a burn of passion, of purpose. Isn’t this your motivation right here? Isn’t he your ‘beautiful future’?
He became acutely aware of the eyes watching him, before he bent down on his heels, eye to eye with the young boy, and gently offered a hand with a warm smile.
“ You tell your father I’ll do my very best for you, okay?”
The boy shook his hand eagerly, before dashing back off into the town, disappearing behind the ruined buildings with a laugh of glee. Roy watched him go, before clearing his throat,
“ Havoc, stay here and watch for the town elders. Come on, Captain. We’ve got work to do.” He turned on his heel, heading back towards the waiting car, far across the sand, Riza falling into line at his side. She glanced at the silent Roy as they walked, his face turned from her.
“ Are you alright, sir?”
“ You know, Hawkeye. For all my time spent in this place…” He reached a hand up, adjusting the cap shielding him from the sun, with a fierce, quick wipe at his cheek. “I didn’t know it rained in the desert.”
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