“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”
i thought this was me at first and i was really confused
omg hi
WE’RE MULTIPLYING
uhhhhhhh
hey
I FINALLY FOUND IT
occasionally subtle

⁂
NASA
cherry valley forever
Today's Document
Mike Driver

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
we're not kids anymore.
No title available
Xuebing Du
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

JVL
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything
tumblr dot com

titsay
Monterey Bay Aquarium

PR's Tumblrdome
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@ohwowthatsawkward
“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”
i thought this was me at first and i was really confused
omg hi
WE’RE MULTIPLYING
uhhhhhhh
hey
I FINALLY FOUND IT
you ever go fuck it and slap your own ass
not in a horny way more like a cowboy slapping his horses hindquarters to jostle it along but in this scenario you are both horse and rider combined into one vaguely stressed and very fast creature
Holy shit. I dropped my Alexa on the ground and it broke. And a tiny woman crawled out thanking me for her freedom. She said she was going to go return to her forest home.
me making eye contact: oh no……. this feels wrong….. this feels very wrong………. but this is what normal people do right?? right????? is this polite? no this is far too intimate. i feel so intrusive. am i doing it wrong??? am i doing eye contact wrong?? oh god i can’t hear what they’re saying anymore i’ve just been thinking about staring them in the eye for 5 minutes straight. im dying
trying to make new friends
breakfast
lunch
cool what the FUCKING HECK does this mean tho
my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.
this passed the bechdel test
im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”
iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels
neither, bc brownies are fucking nasty and so are the bitches who eat them
I’m sorry that nobody in your family can bake
my moms a private chef and im in culinary training dont roast us like this
i’m sorry that your mom went to culinary school and still can’t bake :(
nervous
GET OUT BEFORE I MAKE YOU GET OUT
more nervous than before
Hey, don’t worry Fish! Just come on out when you’re ready.. And when you do I can supply hugs and sweets UwU
less nervous (back to original state of nervousness)
We’re here for you fish! You can come out whenever you feel safe to, okay? We love you very very much!!
coming out
g… go back in
coming out more