@ohwowthatsawkward - Tumblr Blog

toastoat

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

ironicbaking

i thought this was me at first and i was really confused

omg hi

WE’RE MULTIPLYING

uhhhhhhh

hey

I FINALLY FOUND IT

you ever go fuck it and slap your own ass

mesopelagic

not in a horny way more like a cowboy slapping his horses hindquarters to jostle it along but in this scenario you are both horse and rider combined into one vaguely stressed and very fast creature

paprika

baaulp

Holy shit. I dropped my Alexa on the ground and it broke. And a tiny woman crawled out thanking me for her freedom. She said she was going to go return to her forest home.

peachyimg-deactivated20191115

me making eye contact: oh no……. this feels wrong….. this feels very wrong………. but this is what normal people do right?? right????? is this polite? no this is far too intimate. i feel so intrusive. am i doing it wrong??? am i doing eye contact wrong?? oh god i can’t hear what they’re saying anymore i’ve just been thinking about staring them in the eye for 5 minutes straight. im dying

dveon-deactivated20141016

trying to make new friends

beetlebongos

breakfast

elliexer-moved

lunch

fever-dream-deactivated20180711

dinner

nathankujo-deactivated20220101

dessert

back-that-sass-up

cool what the FUCKING HECK does this mean tho

valkyriesdottir

coolhotdad

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog

this passed the bechdel test

hobwithluv

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”