Hey, I just needed to rant, get this off my chest and maybe, if anyone could, I don't know, give me your opinion and/or counsel, if you want to. You don't have to but I could use some help. So you can read if you want to.
I'm on the road of hopefully going to go on testosterone and going for top surgery. I really do want to go on testosterone before September start, before the program I want to take starts. I also want to get on the top surgery list as soon as possible because there's almost a two year wait list before I could get it. On top of that, I want to get back into shape and going on testosterone will help my muscle growth and make me look more like the man I am on the inside. However, my parents aren't supportive of these decisions(well except for the getting into shape decision, they are all for it). They believe I'm rushing into things. I know my parents are good people, love me and care for me (I love them and care for them too) and support me in everything else but when it comes to anything regarding me transitioning, getting hormonal therapy and surgeries they are completely against it. Neither them, nor my brothers will use my preferred pronouns and/or name.
Today, my dad told me that if I start taking testosterone, they don't want me living the house anymore. This isn't the first time I've heard this. A few months ago, a month or so after I came back home from the hospital, my mom told me the same thing. I just feel like if I go through with this, I might loose my parents a little. I know they're also going through a lot and they need time but I don't feel like they'll ever truly except me as a male, non-binary, yes, they do but not as their son. Especially my mom. Maybe my dad, a little, but my mom, as much it pains me to say this, I don't think so. She'll probably never see me and accept me as her son.
As for my brothers, I don't know where those relationships are going. To me it's like an almost blank page. They could either, eventually start seeing me and accept me as they're brother or they might not. I think it will be either one of them(not sure which one) who will start to use my preferred pronouns and name before my parents but.... it might still not be for a while.
Honestly, it would make things a lot better and happier if my parents and brothers, heck, my whole family for that matter but it's not the case. I guess these struggles will help me grow stronger as a person but it does cause a lot of pain, insecurity and ect.
Anymeow, please help me if you want and tell me you're suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.
jacobvanloon
kianamaiart
titsay
yousharknotpass
izzy806
blakekathryn
