Guess I’m Invincible (Harry Styles Edited One Shot)
I gaze outside the window watching each droplet slowly glide down the glass of my bedroom. I sit here on the window sill and admire the gloomy atmosphere. I took in the smell of the rain that crept through the cracks the window. I absorb the sounds of the rumbling thunder and pitter patter of the crying sky as it hits the cement ledge directly outside.
Days like these make me think back to the time. The time I met
“GOD, ZAYN, COULDN’T YOU AT LEAST CHECK THE WEATHER BEFORE SENDING ME OUT TO GET THE DAMN FOOD?”, I screamed over the sounds of thunder into my phone. “Well, its too late now. I’m at the shop. Yeah, I know. I will.”, he always did watch over me like a hawk. “Love you too…bye.”, bromance.
I shook the water that rested in my hair when I walked into the fast food restaurant. I resembled a dog, but didn’t see it as anything seeing as I always fix my hair this way. The quaint little shop wasn’t that busy, but it wasn’t empty either. Rustling and bustling of people and employees in the back kitchen flodded the whole place with live noise. My shoes were covered in mud and it made it hard to walk around the tiled floor… I tried keeping my balance for the sake of the customers walking past me with food and drinks in their hands.
When I reached the counter that all failed miserably.
“Hi I’m here to pick up an order placed under-…”, and there was the thud. With no control over my feet, I felt an impact to my chest and fell to the ground. I lifted my body up using the palms of my hands and next to me was a girl covered in a strawberry milkshake. She slowly turned to me with a vicious anger in her eyes. I slowly turned to her with my eyes popping out of my sockets. I chuckled apologetically shrugging. “Sorry…”, I asked more than stated.
She wiped her face of the strawberry residue answering sternly, “Its fine.”
I stretched my hand out to her to help her off the ground. Reaching out for mine - accepting the rest of my apology -, I pulled her upwards easily her chest against mine. On her face was her milkshake dripping down her cheek slowly.
I smeared it with my thumb and placed it into my mouth nodding in satisfaction, “That is quite amazing.”
She looked at me puzzled, surprised and smirked all at once trying to supress her laughter.
Her facial features were exotic - almost European with a slight hint of…I couldn’t place my finger on it, but she was gorgeous - even with the beverage on her head. Her eyes glistened with tints of a light olive green swirling with a bronze mixture.
“The best in town.”, she laughed flushing a deep red in embarrassment at my random action.
“I should get you another one then….”, I observed the accident that I had been trying to avoid ever since I stepped in the shop. “I’ll just get you a full meal.”, I flashed her a toothy grin.
“Yes…”, she chuckled at my reaction to it all. “Yes, you will.”
“Demanding aren’t we?”, I gave her a wink and walked to the front register. “We just met. DOn’t you think you should at least wait till the fifth date?”, I used my charm on her with a lopsided grin. She rolled her eyes and shook her head laughing at my audacity.I turned to the counter wtih a smile. ”Excuse me, hi, I’m picking up an order under ‘Styles’…”, the employee smiled with a nod and I turned around resting my back on the counter waiting for my order with my arms folded on her chest. I looked at the petite, short, brown-haired girl with interest. She motioned her head towards the window.
I guess I was staring too hard.
“Here you go sir…”, the blonde said smiling at me and the huge piled up bags. “Eating for twenty?”
“You can say that…”, I giggled in amusement. “I’d like to order on the side also. I bumped into this lovely lady…”, I pointed to the bashful brunette next to me. “…and I kind of dropped everything on the floor…”, I stopped to look at her observing the mess. “…and her head.”, I smiled at her again apologetically.
“No problem…”, she flashed a smile. “Would you like more napkins, ma’am?”, she asked the girl covered in shake.
“No, thank you. I’m just going to grab my food and walk home. It’ll all wash up with the rain…”, she smiled in return laughing at her own humor.
It had me frozen - her smile. It was raining outside, but her smile was as bright as the sun in the middle of July. My heart fluttered and pounded at a rate that was inhumane.
“Walk home? In this weather?”, her response grabbed my attention causing me to furrow my eyebrows. “Are you crazy? I’m going to give you a ride…”
“No its ok. I can manage.”, she assured me with a nod.
Before I could argue against her wishes to walk home, the worker returned with her food. “Here you go…”, she held out the paper bag with the company logo on it. I paid the cashier the total amount and followed the girl towards the door before she could leave. No way in hell would I let her leave me witihout getting some kind of information on her.
“I refuse to let you walk home.”, I barricaded the doorway. “You’ll catch a cold, flu. Or even worse…pneumonia.”, I said exaggerating while holding all the food with my free hand - which seemed like it would be suitable for a truck stop full of fat hungry men than just five boys.
She sighed smirking up at me, “You’re not going to stop bothering me are you?”
I shook my head flashing my teeth at her. I grabbed the keys in my pocket and jingled them to her, “Lets go…”
The car ride to her house wasn’t as quiet - or awkward - as I thought it would be. She had talked to me about what it was that she was pursuing in school, what her family was like and just everything in general. She told me her neighborhood was a place I wouldn’t be fond of. She lived a rough childhood in the projects area of New York - Bronx to be exact. It took her a lot of strife and hard work to be where she was now.
Thinking about it, I never had such an in depth conversation with a girl - or anyone for that matter. She was laid back, funny, smart and all around beautiful. I felt comfortable around her and the car ride would end shortly. It made my heart sink a little knowing that me and her would come to an end. I had to make her apart of my life…
This was different. This was something I didn’t want to go away.
She had asked me why I was in New York - my accent gave it away. I had told her that I was in an aspiring boy band from the UK and that we came in third place in the X Factor UK. She was pretty skeptic at first, but then I urged her to watch us on YouTube. Showed her a few of my contacts and even showed her a few pictures with Simon. Soon she believed me while making fun of my short curls I once had while on the show.
Time was becoming scarce and unfortunately we reached her apartment building. “Thank you for driving me back home. You really didn’t have to.”
“But I did. I had to. I wanted to.”, I corrected myself gripping the steering wheel. “I couldn’t just leave you like that.”, I took in every feature on her face.
I noticed her cat-shaped eyes as they glistened reflecting the street lights that streamed in through the windshield of my rental. They resembled two pools of honey boreing into mine. Breath taking - and they surely did stop my breathing for a moment - making her looks far more radiant then she had been in the shop. She surely was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever laid my eyes upon. Her face was as light as porcelain, clear like water and her hair as dark as the rainy night sky yet shined like the finest Japanese silk.
The sound of the car door opening returned me back to reality, “Wait…” Her head turning back towards me quickly I could see the light pink flushed color on her cheeks, “I never got your name…”
“I never got yours either…”, her sly smirk curving on both sides of her supple pink lips.
I watched her for a few moments with a smirk. Clever, “I’m Harry…Harry Styles.”
One more grin was all she did, “I’m Melina…”
Melina…a name that I would never be able to get out of my head for the past week while I was in New York and soon for a long period of time. Melinda and I’s relationship blossomed into a strong friendship. We bonded as if we knew one another since birth - as cliche as it sounded. I made sure to spend as much time as possible. Everyday we would meet up for coffee or dinner or just watch a movie as friends. She would comfortably lean against me and cuddle into me when she was tired.
The boys would constantly joke about us two and say that I loved her secretly. They were just being themselves. It didn’t bother much. At first, they all competed to get her attention - aside from Liam. Louis just needed an audience every time he cracked a joke or just wanted to fool around. Niall wasn’t speaking much at all, because his mouth was full of food. All in all, Malina loved hanging around them and I hated that we would have to part eventually.
Life was good, humble, safe and easy…
I soon left back to England to work on the rest of our album, but managed to keep in touch with her. I updated her on our progress and she would advise me on what to do to add more appeal to us as a group and how to wear my clothes or do my hair. Her opinion mattered to me a lot. She never did lie about a thing and gave me constructive criticism.
We would Skype, text and call as much as we possibly could. Time would pass and so our feelings would blossom. I wished for her to know how I really felt and I wish I had the courage to speak to her. I fell deeply in love with her - unlike any other feeling I had ever had before. I had my career building up and a relationship I wanted to upgrade.
It hurt to be far from her.
‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder…’, Zayn would constantly remind me.
That wasn’t the case this time.
I expressed my feelings for Melina when we had gone back to the US for a quick visit.
“I’ve missed you…”, she crashed into me with her arms wrapped around my waist tightly.
It didn’t take a second to react as I held her closely to my body, “I’ve missed you more…” I took in her scent. Vanilla and lavender - the same scent she always had aside from the strawberry one she had when we met. Somethings never change. I remembered our first encounter and laughed to myself.
“What?”, she asked her head still buried in my shirt. “What’s funny?”, she refused leaving her head from my vibrating chest.
“I just thought of the first day we met…”, I reminisced feeling her head lift off my chest continuing to laugh hysterically and nudged me slightly.
She gazed up at me - I was far more taller compared to her small frame. Her honey eyes intently on mine as we stood there for what felt like an eternity. I didn’t mind at all. I wished I could freeze time in that moment and just keep it that way. A small smile curled up at the corners of my mouth and I could tell my dents formed by the way her eyes lit up. Melina’s pupils spoke to me what her mouth couldn’t.
She had something over me… a spell and I didn’t dare to break from it. I felt as if I’d miss a moment if I did. My head moved slightly down to hers and hers moved in closer instantly. Our lips brushed against each others and moved in sync. It sounds cliche, but, she felt like that missing piece I’ve been looking for… Melina’s lips were nothing that I had thought. If even, it was more than what I expected. Supple, plump, pink and perfectly fit into mine. Her lips broke from mine and she slowly opened her eyes to make contact with mine.
Without hesitation I said what laid inside my heart, “I love you, Melina…”
“I love you too.”, she kept her gaze on me with a small smile.
The only response I needed.
‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder…’, Zayn’s words echoed in my head once more.
A few months after we spoke our feelings, the distance increased. Fame and popularity grew to levels none of us boys expected. It was more than I could handle, but enjoyed every minute of it. I was on top of the world with my four best friends.
Melina and I had barely kept in contact. Days of communication suddenly turned into weeks and then just months until we’d speak to one another. How could I stay in touch with my personal life with all the various interviews, photo shoots and concerts in the way? I never did it on purpose. I was growing in the eyes of teenage girls around the world, but separated from the one that held me close and dear to her heart.
I was hurting her and I didn’t even realize I was.
Everyone wanted a piece of One Direction and everyone got it. Everyone except the one person who deserved it the most. The one person who never left my side at all costs. The one person who I failed to keep in my life and now am completely flooded in guilt with, because I couldn’t do a thing about it. The one person who I knew would be there for me, even if I hadn’t contacted them in ages.
I never mentioned Melina in interviews and no one could see us together even if they wanted. Me and her were oceans apart. Me having the time of my life while she worked hard for her future. I had forgotten her…and I felt lower than dirt. That was when I knew something had to be done - even if it broke one of us in the end.
It was never my intention to avoid, ignore, abandon or isolate Melina - and yet I did without knowing because I let the lime light get to me. I was ashamed at myself and how I could let the flashes of cameras blind me from reality. The day that all the hard work I put into my “dreams”, really proved what stakes it took to reach them.
“Harry!”, she said smashing into me outside her apartment rain pouring heavily. The thunder echoed through the dark gray sky just like the first day we met, “What a surprise….I’ve missed you so much!”
I felt her heartbeat against my chest. She hadn’t been running, so I knew that it was because she was feeling anxious. I wouldn’t blame her - I’ve been gone for so long - a year to be exact - that she probably thought I lost interest (when really it wasn’t interest I lost).
I couldn’t bare to look down at her. I kept my gaze in front of me while I held her to me tightly as if I wasn’t going to see her again…or was it ‘cuz I wasn’t going to? Nevertheless, my heart ache more than any anxiety or stress could cause. The rain dripped through each strand of my curls and down my cheeks masking my pain. The lump in the back of my throat grew to a boulder sized pain. I swallowed what felt like rocks and closed my eyes letting out the regret of my decision. It fell on us - the rain - signifying how my soul felt at that very moment; torn, miserable, confused and gloomy. I struggled to speak.
“I…I’ve missed you m-more…”, I was hesitant this time. I knew I missed her more. And I was going to miss her forever. Those were the words I had said to her before I confessed my feelings to her and when I repeat history again.
“Its raining and cold out here.”, she released the hug intertwining her fingers with mine. “We should go insi-…”, she ceased when she seen that I hadn’t reacted to her gentle tug to lead me up the steps to her apartment. “Harry…”, she paused looking at me with furrowed eyebrows.
I stood straight still agape in front of me hearing tires hit the puddles and droplets hitting the rough surface of concrete. I gulped pain filling my mouth - figuritively and literally. Tears welling up on my waterline, throat filled with sorrow and chest built up with guilt. I couldn’t hold myself up much longer, but I mustered up the strength to sustain it for a bit.
“Harry…”, she walked closer to me her hand still in mine. “What…what’s wrong?”, she rubbed the back of my palm with her thumb staring into my eyes in concern.
My eyes fell onto hers - which took me all the courage I had for me to do. I knew what was expected of her. She had waited a year for my return and what she didn’t know was what my return would only lead to…
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder…”, the words just spilled from my lips like the droplets from the sky. I held my composure as I knew what was to come. “But in our case, Melina, it hasn’t helped.”, her eyes lowered as her hair dripped of the cold rain.
“I knew this was to come.”, she said in almost a whisper. She gazed up at me with tears resting on her waterline in dangerous amounts. Regardless of the rain falling on her melancholy expression, you could still see the hurt exiting from her now olive green eyes. My heart hit against my ribcage begging to be ripped out and just end it all. “I just…didn’t expect it to be so soon.”, a sniffle escaping her mouth.
“I can’t do this anymore…I know it hurts when I’m away…”, I turned away from her not being able to see her this way. “But I know you’ll be ok in the end.”
“How…”, she asked lifting her face so that her eyes were on mine. Droplets brimming her tearduct with furrowed eyebrows almost as if in anger. I was in too much pain to tell.
“How what…”, I dared to ask feeling my eyes turn a light shade of pink from the oncoming tears.
“How can you just tell me that’s over, but I’ll be ok?”, tears streaming down her face and I couldn’t bare to see her like this. I began to speak, but couldn’t. I sighed in fresh air getting rid of the heartache I held. ”I love you, Harry…”, the last time she would ever tell me that and yet it held so much emotion within it - more than it did the first time she said it.
“I love you too. I just don’t want to hurt you anymore…”, my eyes staying on her watching as each salty water droplet rolled down her cheek. She couldn’t bare to look at me. “Melina…”
“I understand…”, she looked up at me and right then my heart shattered in a way that couldn’t just be glued together. Not even with the most expensive adhesive the world had to offer. It had broken to last a life time. Her eyes cried all the hurt, patience and love…
She stood there and stood on her tip toes so that her face was leveled with mine. One last kiss with her lips filled with emotion. Her tongue wrapped in mine moving in sync. The taste of her lip gloss filling me with regret of my decision. I tried pushing it back and ignore my selfishness.
I would never see her again.
I sit here on my window sill watching the rain fall down ever so gently tapping the screen of my window wondering what she’s doing, if she still goes to that restaurant we met at, or if she still considers me in her heart at all. If I could I would take back every time I didn’t call her, text her or just took the time out to email her in just one brief moment.
Now, when I give my thanks at award ceremonies or at ending tours or just in general, I hope Melina knows that I’m really thanking her for having the strength to hold herself together when I wasn’t there to show her how deep my love really was for her and how it still held its ground till now. I stare at the cameras hoping that those same honey golden eyes are smiling back at me when I smile. The reason behind my happiness at all is because a memory of our times runs back into my mind.
None of these awards - none - mean anything, but the hope that maybe one day we will be together as one….one last time. It would be enough for me.
“My heart isn’t bullet proof despite what you think. You say I’ll move and that’s what I’ll do. You say its the best I think that’s only for you.”
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