she's the giggle at a funeral

i don't have any fucking maple syrup so don't ask me 

[okmaeve-blog]

whatchase:

Well…Owch.

You said it yourself, you don’t anything.

[okmaeve-blog]

irisabbott:

That was quite a long time ago. Whose kid is this?

Well that’s a shame. My dumb-ass sister who got knocked up, ran away and then got herself killed.

[okmaeve-blog]

fmckeam:

Pretty sure as long as you’re always there for her, she won’t even see the difference.

Maybe it was for a reason.

I hope you’re right. 

Maybe. I guess I’ll never find out. 

[okmaeve-blog]

I’m sure they make tons of books on it.

Well are you a library?

[okmaeve-blog]

roxy–jones:

First thing, you don’t talk about my mom. Second thing, I don’t know shit about kids. Burp it, feed it, change it’s diaper? I don’t know what the fuck else?

Oh I’m sorry? Did I strike a nerve? Figures you aren’t useful. I clearly wasted my time. 

[okmaeve-blog]

sabrina-rolkins:

Well, there are other ways that babies can communicate that isn’t speaking. Crying, for example?

Do you think I’m stupid or something? I know that babies cry when they need shit.

[okmaeve-blog]

jasvalentine:

Well she’s a teacher too, so I’m sure she can give you loads of tips. Are you having a baby?

Fine, whatever. Just give me her number or something. No I’m not having a baby, do I look fucking pregnant to you?

[annedela-deactivated20151208]

I don’t either. I just teach elementary school kids. Did you, like… acquire a child?

[okmaeve-blog]

You’re a teacher? Clearly you must know something, then. Yes, basically.

[ollliverrr]

I feel like I should know more about kids, but right now the only advice I have is to keep an eye on them. My little sister got into everything when she was a baby. She almost fell out the window.

[okmaeve-blog]

Great advice, Captain Obvious. Well it seems like a miracle you didn’t kill the poor thing.

[callmeloganpls]

I don’t know anything about kids, either. I’m sorry.

[okmaeve-blog]

Well this is just fucking great. Thanks so much.

[irisabbott-blog]

And I look like I do?

[okmaeve-blog]

Well you’re old as fuck, you’re bound to have held a baby once or twice.

[whatchase]

Have you like, met me? I don’t know shit about kids. I’m like, like a kid. I don’t know what to feed ‘em, I don’t like what to do with ‘em. I mean, they have to be kinda like dogs, right?

[okmaeve-blog]

God...you’re fucking useless. I’m pretty sure my niece could be more help than you, and she’s a fucking baby. 

[annedela-deactivated20151208]

I can try to help, but I’m not sure it’ll be much.

[okmaeve-blog]

Look, I never even babysat as a kid. I have no idea how this parenting thing works. 

[roxy--jones-deactivated20191211]

“Why’d you come to me, then?”

[okmaeve-blog]

Cause you look motherly? Why the fuck do you think? I’m desperate. I figured you have mommy issues or something since you’re such a bitch. You can help me figure out what not to do.

[sabrina-rolkins-deactivated2019]

“Uh…Sure? Yeah, of course. Go for it.”

[okmaeve-blog]

I don’t know what I’m doing. How do you take care of someone who can’t even talk? 

[jasvalentine]

“I don’t have any kids. I can give you my nana’s number. She raised me and I turned out pretty fine. “

[okmaeve-blog]

Fine, whatever. If you think she can help me.

[fmckeam]

How do you know?

Oh…maybe she was scared?

[okmaeve-blog]

Because who wants an Aunt? A kid needs their mom, not an Aunt.

I don’t know. They ended things, and then she left.