reaching the point of hyperfixation where I can no longer engage with it due to the nausea that I experience at the mere thought of seeing it on my screen is the closest I’ve ever been to being diagnosed with female hysteria
"We want more complex female characters" you can't even handle an angry, grieving daughter who just had her mother killed by her future wife's sister, shut the fuck up
Gold medalist Rebeca Andrade of Team Brazil on the podium at the Artistic Gymnastics Women's Floor Exercise Medal Ceremony on day ten of the Olympic Games Paris 2024 at Bercy Arena on August 05, 2024 in Paris, France.
Summary: Natasha tried to mend what's left broken. Because no matter what, she's the love of your life and she knows all too well.
A/N: It's been forever. This 5k piece felt like I was writing 300k, it was difficult, funny, hard and I miss doing this more often. I hope you guys like it and please, it be amazing for me to know your thoughts about it.
You can read it as One Too Many part 2 or as a single piece, it is up to you.
Warnings: Mentions of blood, torture, mentions of death, alcohol, angst (you know how I am, I can't simply write people kissing without suffering before).
"Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place"
The gun pointing at your face barely meters away should be intimidating, but at this point no one would blame you for not caring anymore. And you didn’t even mean the last couple of days, no, your whole life had been a fight, a struggle, an act of survival after another, so the last few days were nothing but the same blur.
The gunpower inundated your nostrils and the pungent smell masqueraded the smell of blood that clung to your brain and you were sure you wouldn’t erase it even if you got out of your current establishment.
Your heightened senses were capable of decerning all the different blood samples available in your cell: yours and from other occupants that came before you, or the blood that belonged to some of your kidnappers, who’ve learned in the worst possible way that you were not to be underestimated.
Back to the gun, the man behind it kept enchanting the same questions and you wondered how long it would take for them to get tired of your silence or mock replies. A sharp pain in the back of your head made you look up to meet his eyes, another man behind you was forcefully pulling your hair down to force your head up and you were already tired of him doing this.
“Where are the others?” The man with the gun asked, patience waning thin. Good to know you were on the same page. “Where is Romanoff?”
A blooded grin made its way to your face after you spat on his shoe. “It’s funny you think I’ll tell you now after all you’ve put me through. Do you think I’m afraid of your bullet?” And you didn’t even mean the fact that you probably wouldn’t die if he decided to shoot anywhere else other than your head, but you did mean that you were not afraid of dying.
Actually, you were so tired that perhaps laying down cold wouldn’t be unwelcomed. There wouldn’t be any pain, your body wouldn’t try to heal only to get hurt again. You thought it would be refreshing.
Two steps and the man pressed the gun over your knee, and you already knew, his wicked grin grew wider when your body convulsed with pain even though you concealed your scream in muffled grunts by biting your lips so tide you tasted your own blood, again.
“Why don’t you make it easier for you? You tell me what I’ve asked, and I kill you fast.” He pulled a chair and got comfortable for he knew all too well you wouldn’t budge easy. “I promise you. One silver bullet in your temple. Fast. Easy.”
Your eyes flashed to his. Silver bullets were really affective against your healing skills and very few possessed this knowledge. Someone must’ve tipped him off and the idea stung way much more than the powder burning the flesh inside your knee.
Only two women knew your weakness. Well, your creators knew, of course, but they were not in condition of speaking anymore. Unless someone from this organization was capable of going to hell to have a chat and then return to the living world with this intel.
Your love for Yelena was something so natural and it grew so fast for she was just deranged as you were: uncapable of functioning as what people labeled as normal. You were kindred souls and you felt like you were twins separated somewhere along the road and considering both of your past, who actually knew?
After long nights during long missions, you confided in her this. You were scared of losing control because sometimes the beast inside you took over and your brain couldn’t always sway the instincts. So you handed her one silver bullet in case things went south, she was adamant in returning it to you but you asked her to keep it, for insurance.
And the other person was Natasha. You never knew how she learned this but when she recruited you many, many years ago she already knew. If the pain in your leg wasn’t so overwhelming, you could’ve laughed at the memory engulfing your mind’s eye.
Her tide catsuit adorned with nothing but her black widow symbol, swaying her hips and pretending she wasn’t scared of the woman seated in front of her. You remember how her fear smelled, a stark contrast to her pose. You recall her words, her smile, her flirtatious play all to convince you to use your skills to her so called greater good.
And before leaving, she boldly closed the distance between you and placed a silver bullet in your hand. You understood the message. You weren’t stupid. Later she sworn that she was the only one, at S.H.I.E.L.D. or within Avengers, to know your weakness and you believed her.
And this belief comes back to bite you in the ass.
Because you knew full well that Yelena would die, she would kill herself even, before telling someone your secret. But Natasha? You didn’t trust her anymore. She had done it before, and you knew it all too well. If you were to be honest, after one too many treasons, you didn’t care about another.
Or so you told yourself.
“Good luck.” You rasped out after a long time inside your own head.
The man tilted his head to the side and smiled that smile that told you he already knew what you would say. You would go further and say he was eager for it. “I think in the torture manual says I should tell you that I don’t enjoy this, but I’d be lying. We actually bet how long it will take for you to drop the act and start screaming.”
You bet no one thought it would be that fast. He stumped a knife down your thigh so fast and so hard you saw stars. You could feel the silver poisoning the skin and muscle where it was nested, and it burned like nothing else would.
Unfortunately for them, the apex in you was not used to be a prey and this injury was powerful enough to make your survival instincts kick in. It happened so fast it was a haze, one minute he was laughing, the other he was on the ground - lifeless, and just as the others came, they followed their leader – well, who you thought the leader was, at least.
Funnily, your countdown was wrong, or you were not the only one putting your captors down. As the blood ran free down your leg, your strength and capability of keeping fighting diminished. When a body collided with yours, it was a miracle you were still awake.
Her red hair framed her face perfectly, skin white as snow and her green orbs looked like there was an aurora borealis looking down at you as she nested you in her lap as you felt life slipping through your fingers - veins.
“Hey, hey. Stay with me.” Her voice was strange, as if speaking was a struggle and she reeked fear, but not the same you were used to, as if she was feeling a different type of fear, it was a strange concept, but you hated it, nonetheless. If these were your last moments breathing, you wanted her true smell. The one you knew all too well.
“Please, don’t you dare die. I’ve got you.” Her muffled words found your ear, but it was hard to even comprehend anything at all when her lips felt so cold in your forehead. “Heal. Why are you not healing?”
“Silver.” It was all you could say. It was all you had to say.
She frantically started yelling at someone, perhaps the comms, but before you could close your eyes for good, you saw a red blur and he was complaining about your weight.
Her giggle filled the room as the first sun lights announced the day had just begun, you looked at her alarmed, for it was definitely something new. “Are you mocking me?” Enable to conceal a smile yourself.
“I’m not.” She denied, but her laugh told you differently. Her freckles painted her angelical face and her eyes looked like they held the sun captive. And you. And she knew, all too well. “It’s just I can’t believe you still have this scar.”
Her index finger traced said scar as she looked at you expectantly, waiting for your explanation, even though she already knew.
“I didn’t know Wanda’s necklace was made of silver, okay.” You finally replied, pulling her close to you as if her weight meant nothing, right in that moment this action felt so normal, so homely that it ached. “I thought I could take it from that heated place for her, but it burned me as I did. It was silly.”
She giggled again, though muffled by your shoulder this time, there was something new in her eyes that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. “It was cute. Silly, but cute. That necklace belonged to her mother.”
“I know.” You were locked in her eyes, and she stared at you as if she was trying to reach your soul, then you felt her fingertip leaving the palm of your hand to intertwine your fingers as she let her eyes stray to look at both of your hands.
The feeling was overwhelming. You were aware of how fast your heart was beating, you could only hope she couldn’t feel or hear it, for in that moment, all you wanted was to engrave the sight of you, together, and you wish you could just have this forever. Have her forever.
“I’ve never felt this before.” Her brows were furrowed in a way that made you upset, but you wouldn’t let go of her hand for nothing in this world, even if it was to soothe the crinkles in her forehead. “I’m in love with you.”
For a moment, there was nothing that you could do but wait for your brain to register her words and meaning, for a whole minute you simply stared at her, trying to search for a catch or a joke but you found none. And she looked up at you so innocently that you found yourself believing in her.
“I thought-.” You tried, but she never let you finish your sentence.
“I know what I said.” She stopped you midsentence, but her voice was not stern, it was almost tired. “This is not what I feel anymore.” Again, her eyes found yours and the way they shone made your knees weak, luckily you were laying on her mattress.
Somehow, they conveyed so much of this feeling she had claimed she was not capable of nurturing that your stomach did somersaults. And right in that moment, you realized that perhaps silver could hurt you, but this woman was your true weakness.
Specially if she’s looking at you the way she was.
“You already know how I feel about you.” You whispered, it was terrifying saying again the three words that you were sure would make her fly away from this strange arrangement you found yourself in. Yet she didn’t.
“I know.” She confirmed after a while admiring your eyes as if she could read your mind. After deciding she was content with whatever she found, she leaned in and pecked your lips so tenderly it hurt.
Then, when she looked at you again you saw, from the small smirk growing in her lips, that she had gone back to play her prime character: the Black Widow.
“Let’s have a breakfast before the funeral, shall we?” As she got of the bad, you copied her movements going back to your own suitcase to find something comfortable as her voice broke the silence filling the room. “I never asked how you and Sharon became friends to the point you’d come to a funeral of her relative.”
The cleanliness of the room was the first thing you were aware of. In fact, you didn’t even realize you were awake, therefore alive, before the smell hit your nostrils. And with it, her scent.
The occasional up and down from her feet and bouncing leg was the only sound in the room except for the noise coming from the heart monitor over your head. She was anxious, that much was obvious even if you weren’t an enhanced being.
Mentally searching for your injuries and pain, you understood that whatever had happened with you, was all gone. Excluding the lingering pain in some specific places that you credited to silver induced wounds that would take way much more time to wear off.
However, considering the state you were in, whoever tended these wounds had operated a true miracle.
As you opened your eyes, you half expected bright lights, common to these hospital rooms to hurt your eyes, but you soon identified that the only source of light was a yellow bulb close to the door.
Natasha.
“Thanks for working the lights down.” You rasped out and stifled a giggle as she jumped from her chair by the wall and bolted to your bed side. The book previously nested between her hands now long forgotten on the floor.
The iron grip which she clutched your hand didn’t go amiss to you. “A week.” The sadness in her eyes was palpable. “A whole week blacked out.” She explained further but you didn’t need to know the details of how long you were sleeping or how many times your heart stopped at surgery.
“You scared the shit out of me.” Then it hit you, the same type of fear your nose caught when she found you in that facility, it was fear but not the one someone feels when they’re actively facing danger, but it was fear for someone else. Fear of losing someone.
Something stirred inside your heart, but it was something that you couldn’t dwell much longer, not, at least, in that moment.
“They had me, after you sent me as scout.” Your tone was flat, and her eyes widened a little at the bluntness of your accusation, though you were far from settling for little. “They knew about the silver.”
Her hold faltered, but your hand was still snuggled between hers. “What are you accusing me of?” She narrowed her eyes, but her green orbs were bright even in the poor light.
“Cynicism doesn’t suit you the way you think it does.” Before you could even pull back your hand, she completely let it go and got to her feet. “Look at my eyes and tell me that you actually didn’t let them get me, just to find their hideout.”
She had her back turned to you, acutely avoiding your gaze. “Look at me!” You demanded and she had the gall to look at you through her lashes, as if her seductive skills could help her now. You wouldn’t fall for that, and she knew it all too well.
“It wasn’t my intention for you to be captured and I never thought someone else would know about your weakness. I thought I was the only one alive to know.” She finally turned to you, eyes now darting around the floor as if it could grant her the answers she sought.
“Lena knows too.” You corrected her, but if she was surprised by your update, she never showed.
Shaking her head right to left as if to deny such possibility, she exclaimed. “She’d never do this to you.” It was funny that at least in this matter you agreed. “I think she loves you more than she loves me.” A sly smile escaped her lips and you had to restrain your heart from fluttering at the sight of it.
“I was waiting for your check-in. I went to your assigned coordinates, and I know I underestimated their numbers, but I would never let someone capture you.” Her feet dragged her back close to your bed but maintained some distance between you.
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” You shot back without missing a single beat, crossing your arms around your chest.
She sighed tiredly and looked down at the floor. You wouldn’t let her forget that she was the main cause for you to be locked in the Raft, well, her and your support for Steve when Ross tried to shove the Sokovian Accords down your throat, and solely because you shared his point of view.
After being controlled for most of your life by a group with shady intentions, you swore you’d never submit your loyalty and services to a third party again, even if it was a government group – specially a government group, actually, so only over your dead body you’d accept the Accords.
But when you came back to see if Natasha was fine, she had gone without thinking that you were left behind and in the care of Ross to be taken to the Raft with the others, without sparing a single thought to you.
“I’d never ever willingly put you in danger.” She said taking another step closer to you. “I have never mentioned to anyone about your secret, and I purposefully kept it out of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files.”
Her eyes kept darting from her hands to your eyes, never focusing, never staying too long. “Look, I know Yelena would never speak about it, but I wouldn’t either. And I didn’t, you must believe me!”
“I must?” Your eyebrows shot up so high so fast it hurt. “Well, you made it pretty damn hard for me to believe, don’t you think, Nat?” Your tone was hard, but you were not even speaking too loud.
Somehow, Natasha thought this hurt way much more.
“C’mon all I feel for you-” She tried to counter, but you wanted to swallow the lump stuck in your throat trying to choke you, so you cut her midsentence.
“Words, Natasha.” She found herself locked within your burning eyes. “I kept you as an oath, yet you hid me like another dirty secret. And all you’ve felt you kept hidden – buried – just as who you really are.”
After years thinking about how she lured and how she hurt you, you thought that maybe spatting what your relationship really was – a hidden lust, would make you feel better, would free yourself from her hold, but it didn’t.
After all, calling her unfair wouldn’t change how lonely she made you feel, how she took your happiness away whenever she drew herself back to her main character as she left you daydreaming about imaginary scenarios built in “what ifs”.
As your words found her ears, they settled heavily in her stomach. She knew she had massed up, she had hurt you many times, yet all she wanted was go back in time and erase all her wrongs and all the times she promised and never delivered.
She didn’t possess a time stone, though. There was nothing she could do about the past, however, she knew she couldn’t run from her mistakes anymore. If she wanted to start anew, she’d have to show she was different.
She wanted to, no, she needed you to understand that she was a whole new person because you’ve changed her. She didn’t want to hide anymore and for that she’d have to let go of her walls and be vulnerable. Truly vulnerable.
Funnily, she had played with her vulnerability before, being vulnerable just enough for people to lower their shields or masks so she could get what she wanted but this was something else entirely.
This time she wouldn’t act. She’d be vulnerable, at your mercy hoping she’d make it out alive on the other side. It was something new and it scared her, but losing you was scarier.
“I didn’t know you came back to check on Barton…” She tried weakly, knowing that this was a sore subject for the both of you. Each with your own views and reasons.
“I helped Clint, yes, but we went back looking for you. Yet, Ross was all we’ve found.” Your glare was cold, perhaps colder than ever. In the pit of her stomach, she knew she deserved it, she just wish you could move on with it.
“I was wrong, okay. Is that what you want to hear?” She snapped, though her voice was still in a low tone, eyes sad. And you hated it. “I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for not going after you that day at the airport or at the Raft.”
Her eyes fell once more to your hands, she slowly nursed them in hers and this action was so soft, so hesitantly as if she was afraid of you taking it away; afraid of you shutting her down once more.
“I wish I could do things differently, but I can’t, and for that I’m sorry. But I- I wish we could try move on from this. I still have feelings for you.” As words flowed through her tongue, you watched as eyes portrayed a sincerity that you rarely saw within those forest green orbs.
Usually, they hid her true feelings or performed like an actress twisting her truths mixed with pieces of lies and characters she created through life until she herself was unaware of what was true or not.
“I hear you, Natasha.” You rasped out after a long moment lost inside her beautiful eyes. “You speak of things as you did before, yet you never act on it.”
Her hands were warm, a muted invitation to go back to your dreams of having a life with her. The only person who never showed any sign of fear about your nature, that never once treated you like an animal.
She never treated you like a woman either.
“I want you to show me.” Your stone-cold eyes punctuated your feelings in the matter at hand. If she wanted to have you back, she’d have to show you she’s changed for words could only take her so far.
“I will.” She vowed and smiled softly, though her heart was shattering inside her chest. She made a career making people believe in whatever she wanted, she supposed she’d be able to make you believe in her heart.
How hard would that be?
Laugh filled the room after another not-so-funny Tony’s jokes and your head throbbed as the sound echoed inside your skull. Parties like these were always a torture for you, after all, your enhanced abilities of hearing and catching smells better than a normal person proved to be really awful in a place full of people with different perfumes, scents, chattering and loud music.
However, Tony himself forbid you from leaving tonight for this was his engagement party and it would be rude to Pepper if you left too early. Deciding that indulging him was easier than arguing with him, you found a safe corner and pretended to enjoy whatever was going on.
Though, your sharp eyes, even though you tried hard, always wandered after a certain redhead and you could all but clench your jaw every time you judged someone got too closer for your comfort.
Jealousy clawed its way through your throat and even the best bourbon from the bar couldn’t help it. You knew you had no right, no claim, especially after your last conversation. Still, your heart acted on its own and made sure you’d regret your words and resolve.
Considering that you were one drink from scooping lower than ever for her, you abandoned your glass on a random table and vanished to the balcony in hopes the fresh air could help your head and brain.
The cars down the streets ran from side to side completely unaware of your inner turmoil as you pathetically looked down searching for answers you wouldn’t find there.
In fact, as your answers arrived at the balcony, you realized that her hills clicking the marble floor announced her before her perfume invaded your nostrils in waves as she moved closer and closer towards you.
“Tired of mingling?” She asked as she lined her body at the railing. Her red hair bobbed around her ears in meticulously designed waves and her dark maroon dress hugged her curves in all the nice places.
She was flawless.
As always.
“I think I might’ve break Sam with incredible five words.” You gave her a sly smile that she retributed with a smirk and a fake gasp.
“This is basically a whole speech.” She clicked her tongue playfully. “I think you’ve been around Tony just too much.”
You snorted a laugh and she let a broad smile paint her lips, content with herself for making you ease the pained expression adorning your face the whole evening.
Uncertenty hugged you like a cold blanket as you pondered your next words. As if rolling the dices in a game you were sure you’d end up losing, you turned to her and spoke. “You’re really beautiful tonight, Nat.”
Your heart fluttered as she fought back a smile trying to win her lips and looked down as if she wasn’t expecting your praise. She genuinely looked flustered by your words.
“Thank you. You’re quite handsome yourself. Well, I already praised your choice of suit, earlier.” She turned her body so now she was fully looking at you and you tried to remember how to properly breath. However, it was as if the air was composed of her scent.
You were intoxicated.
“What do you mean?” You asked confused. “This is the first time we speak tonight.” You clarify. Truth be told you’ve been keeping a fair distance from her and funnily enough she didn’t make the effort to push you and your comfort space.
She did make it obvious that she was trying, though. She invited you out in front of people, she brought you coffee whenever you were reading in the garden in the morning or brought you a blanket when you were on the couch watching movies with Wanda.
Whenever you were called to a meeting, she worked the lights so it wouldn’t hurt your eyes that much. And, one day, she brought you the files they recovered from Hydra from the mission you were taken, and you both learned that one of your creators left behind a journal and there were a lot of dirty secrets down there. Including yours.
To be honest, she was really trying to show her true intentions, but you were still afraid that this was just for show, just a ploy for you to lower your guard and be disappointed after she return to her normal pattern of misleading.
However, the way she stood basking in the moon light looking at you like she was slowly sipped through the cracks of your determination of not giving in that easy.
Her soft smile was a sight to see, and you even forgot that you were waiting for her to reply. “Directly, yes. I sent a drink to you earlier.”
Then it clicked in your head. Your laugh was loud and very uncharacteristic of you, though Natasha simply stood there admiring your carefree stance, a rare occurrence.
Your mind traveled to a moment earlier that night when the waiter approached you with a drink in hand, stating that the lady had sent it to you complimenting your fine tailored suit. At the time, the way he vaguely waved in the direction of Agatha and other ladies, you thought that one of them had been the person.
Though if you thought harder about it, Natasha was at the bar in that moment, right behind said ladies.
“Now it made sense.” You grinned back at her and nodded your head softly. “Thank you for the compliment and the drink.”
“Of course.” She flashed on last smile and turned her body to admire the city bellow and you did the same. Though you found it hard to ignore her presence by your side. You could feel the heat emanating from her skin, her sweet scent still impregnating the air around you and you could hear her fast heartbeat. It was uncommon.
In a haste, you both turned towards each other and started to speak at the same time. A nervous laugh scaped your lips as you signaled for her to go on first. And she did.
She closed her eyes as one does when bracing for the impact, as if second-guessing her next step, but when she opened her eyes again, there was no doubt and no deceit. “I love you and it’s ruining my life not having you, knowing that I am the one who pushed you away.”
You were speechless by her blunt confession, specially because she never, ever, used the word love in such a direct sentence. She expressed her feelings before, yes, but always with an adore, in love with you once or twice, never this straight.
She took your silence as hesitancy and reached for your hand, she yearned for your touch and the closeness of the last weeks made her heart clench with longing. “I am asking for a chance to show you who I really am, and I, please, I know I’ve made mistakes, but I wish to make it up to you.”
Her eyes were pools of emotion and you had trouble in breathing with her so close now. “Please, let me love you the way you deserve, the way I should’ve since the very first time I kissed your lips.” Her free hand caressed your cheek in such a tender way that you felt your knees weak.
She was definitely your true weakness.
You brain was haywire, short-circuiting with the lack of air and the sudden increase in your heartbeats. There she was. The woman you felt like you could love forever, offering you what you always wanted: her heart. For real this time. Not the hide and seek games you’ve been playing in the past.
She promised and have been showing changes, however, if you were to be honest, all she’d have to do was to come at you and say hi. If you were to be honest, she would always have your heart at her mercy.
Unable to form words and knowing that your silence was unnerving for her, as you saw her brows furrowing, you decided to answer her differently as you brought your hand to her own cheek and guided her lips to meet yours.
Her lips were soft as they used to be, and you could feel her body melting into the kiss. Her eyes fluttered open when you broke the kiss and smiled softly at her. “I love you too, Nat.”
Smiling back at you, Natasha circled her arms behind your neck to pull you down for another kiss, and another. And another.
And you knew, all too well, that she wouldn’t stop soon.
taglist: @username23345; @afuckingshituniverse; @strangegardentaco; @waltermis (I know you didn't specifically asked to be tagged, but I am doing it, nonetheless, because if your rb - and because you sparked a fire in this. Thank you.)
Summary: Not all the time in the world can erase your one too many bruises caused by Black Widow’s deceptions.
A/N: When I saw what I was doing I already had half of this on paper so… Enjoy.
Trigger Warnings: Angst? Language and mentions of alcohol. I don’t remember any others but if there is any, please, let me know.
“I see pain in your smile, I try to erase it but you're not made of paper.”
#not my gif
You set your cup of coffee on the floor and take a look at your target through your rifle scope. The man was still in his desk working on his computer rather franticly. The way he used his sleeves to clean his forehead told you that he was anxious, nervous and you wondered about what.
He’s been stealing from his company and deep involved in embezzlement, using the money to support terrorist groups. You’ve been watching him for a month and he never looked remotely bothered by his illegal activities, however, today he was all sweat and looks behind his shoulder.
He was worried about something. You ran the past month in your head and on your mental checklist you couldn’t find a single mistake that could’ve warned him about your presence or even that he was being followed.
Your target didn’t know he was your target. So it was something else.
You took another sip from your cup and pursed your lips for your drink was already too cold for your taste, and you always liked it simmering hot burning down your throat.
Then, you saw some strange movement in the front of the building, some cars that shouldn’t be there, some people that weren’t the common passersby, nor the common employees from the stores below the building.
“Fuck”, you mutter to yourself when your eyes caught a glimpse of a very specific red hair. That color, that shade was imprinted to your brain, much like the smell of it, no matter how hard you wanted to get rid off it.
You looked at the scope one more time and things click in place when she rans directly towards the target, your target. “That’s why he’s nervous.” You voice your knew knowledge to the wind, even alone the act of speaking out loud always helped you to fucus on your tasks.
The man you were about to kill probably realized that something was off, maybe someone tipped him about the unusual movement, you could never know and to be honest, it didn’t matter.
A dry laugh scaped your lips when you saw the man trying to fight with Natasha. They always do this, they always look at her and see someone that they can beat, they are so entranced by her beauties that never see the threat before is too late. She’s the perfect weapon.
He never had the chance, though, she had him pinned down the floor in milliseconds. You saw her speaking to someone on the comms and signaling to the team accompanying her that they were ready to move. Ready to extract her target.
A smirk came to your lips when you thought that this wouldn’t be happening. Over the last year, you lost three targets to S.H.I.E.L.D., to her. If she knew that she arrested your targets you couldn’t know, but you highly doubt that she’d be unaware of others chasing the objective of her missions.
You saw, by the way she looked to the top of the buildings, that she expected trouble and a wicked smile made its way to your lips.
To mess with Natasha was the same thing as mess with S.H.I.E.L.D. and you knew your employer wouldn’t want that. But you couldn’t help but think someone was leaking information from your firm because this last year more than half of missions were frustrated by their busts.
Although, you knew full well that this was almost certainly your worst idea, you let your aim scope to find the red head. She was on her tactical catsuit as usual, the red symbol, that represent her alias, on her waist was an alert to all those who could see it for what it was. A warning.
Even through a mile away, the scope let you see the curves of her body, her prime weapon was after all, to render her victim almost defenseless so she could strike her final bite, her final blow and they were done.
The way she kept putting her body in front of your target told you that she knew where you were, just maybe not the distance, since there were so many buildings around you. You were still wondering whether you should take the shot or not when she made up your mind for you.
You saw a tactical team to burst the door of the top floor from a building four hundred meters from you, you then realized that she knew you were around, her only mistake was to doubt your sniper skills by thinking you’d be operating from a closer building. “You wound me, Romanoff.” You mumble out loud but were there a person by your side, they’d still have a hard time in hearing you.
You lick your lips and check the wind direction and its intensity one more time before pulling the trigger slowly, just like you have learned. Aim set on your targets heart, finger pressing the gun trigger until the shot happens, soon after, the man you were watching for the past weeks fell to the floor with his shirt stained with his own blood.
You kept looking at the scene unfolding on the street by your scope and saw other agents running everywhere. Few took cover thinking they were under attack; others ran to help and aid the criminal on the floor, but Natasha just stood there. She looked at the corpse, then over her shoulder as if trying to recreate with her mind the bullet’s path and smirked when she realized that your bullet passed inches from her head.
It was nothing but a small window to take the shot without hurting anyone else, but damn if you weren’t the best sniper on the market. Plus, you could’ve take the shot sooner, even before she arrived, but then, how could you sent this message to her? You didn’t have red symbols on your waist to warn people that they should stay out of your way and now you knew that you had their attention. Her attention.
---
The second you stepped into your threshold you knew something was off, then the scent of her skin hit your nostrils right after a gust of wind swirled the room. She tried to hide her scent; spies always tried. They were really good at it actually.
“Your attempt of disguising your scent amuses me.” You spoke softly and let your words flee around the room looking for the intruder.
To many people you were a myth and to others you were an experiment that despite being successful, turned against their creators as all creatures seemed to. Enhanced around your teens, you were a prime hunter, an apex with heightened senses that made you who you are, a survivor. Since you didn’t know the reasons of her visit, you kept your instincts at peak.
“Who said I tried?” Her voice was low, raspy and sexy. Right then and there, you realized that you had never seen her in her huntress mode action up until now. That tone was always directed to her future victims, tried to lure you into a sense of false calmness until it was too late.
“Please.” You snorted, now darting your eyes towards where her voice came and, despite, the pitch-black darkness, you could disguise her form. She was seated on your couch in the corner as if she owned the place. “You already wounded my feelings earlier.”
“What? Does it hurt your feelings to be underestimated?” You took a seat in front of her, and she turned on the lamp that was on the table beside her. You blinked few times to adjust to the new light and smiled at the glass filled with vodka in front of her.
“Made yourself at home, I see.” Her smirk was nothing but infuriating just like her high relaxed pose, trying to sell that she was indeed relaxed, but you knew all too well that she was ready to burn the house down were you to breath a bit too deeper than usual.
“I tried to look for any other reason as to why you’d have my favorite vodka on your bar other than to make me feel at home and I found none.” She drove her glass to her mouth without breaking eye contact.
Now, Natasha Romanoff was a player, a professional flirty and you knew that. You have seen it one too many times with you or others, but that knowledge always seemed to fly out of the window whenever she gives you those eyes, that smile.
She flirted with Steve, she flirted with Bruce, she flirted with you, hell, she’d likely flirt with a door if it’d guarantee her a free entrance when she so desires or need. Everything she did was always thoroughly calculated, always with gains that far suppressed the possible losses, always a catch. Just like right now.
“What do you want Natasha?” Your voice cut the air and she sent that look through her lashes.
“Now you just hurt my feelings like that.” She spoke without breaking eye contact and you, without missing a beat, replied. “As if you had it.” She laughed lightly but nodded her hair as if accepting the comeback.
“Ouch.” She took another sip, this time she did it devoid of part of her charm taking that you wouldn’t fall for that anymore. If only she knew.
“Look, there’s a new big guy in town.” Her voice was businesslike despite her playful approach. “He’s dangerous and believe me; I really didn’t want to bring you into this but…” She lifted her eyes to meet yours and there it was, her true look, diploid of natural charisma, diploid of her deceits. “We could use your skills.”
“You mean you need me to sniff around and point you the direction?” She rolled you eyes but you were serious, after all, this was what they basically asked you to do with Loki, then with Ultron. You always thought you belonged with the Avengers, but you were nothing but a puppy ready to please your owner and the gods knew who controlled your leash.
“No. I’m after your huntress’ and hitman skills.” You pondered at her words and well, it could be true. They could need your help, but there were no guarantees that you wouldn’t end up at the Raft just like you did the last time you trusted her.
She sold you out so she could escape from Ross claws and ended up bringing down the Red Room, you knew it all, her sister was your co-worker and friend and she told you everything.
“I didn’t like my last accommodation.” She reacted just like you thought she would after your reply, immediately shooting you hundreds of old and empty excuses. The never ending justifications of how nothing went as she’d planned, that her intel was wrong, but nothing could erase the fact that even though they broke Sam and Wanda out, they left you behind.
You tried your hardest to avoid any stupid or futile comparisons, but your mind always liked to play against you by always remembering of how she never really stopped trying to trace Bruce while you rot on Ross’ hands.
“You know what’s funny, Natasha?” Your voice was low again and you stared at the ceiling, suddenly too tired to have this conversation. “There was a time when I’d have followed you to the graveyard. You’d ask me to jump, and I wouldn’t even ask you how high. Just like I did.” A sad smile graced your lips. “But this notion seems so old now and I’m tired. I’m not a puppy anymore.”
“I never saw you as one.” Her tone was harsh and you glanced at her long enough to sustain her glare. “I never used you, believe me, I’d never do this to you.”
“Forgive me if I don’t.” You tone was flat, conveying how little you believed in her. Before? Maybe you could’ve trusted her completely, but now things are not like that anymore. There were feelings, mistrust and truth be told, you could deal with the Black Widow, but you didn’t know who Natalia, the real person behind the mask was and that scared you.
She downed the content of her glass and stared at the bottom of it. “I never lied to you about my feelings.” Despite the glossy covering her eyes, you tried to look for any signs of deceptions, of manipulation.
“Everything I told you that night was true and if I could only take back my mistakes. It was never my intention to hurt you.” You set your eyes to the ground, focused on anything that could ground your mind to avoid it to get loss on that night, the night which you’d never forget, no matter what.
As if imprinted on your brain, her skin’s taste was even more delightful erupting with lust and truth be told you could still feel her love burning your veins, eating you alive all the way through and to your core.
And back then you thought, you dared to daydream with the possibility of holding her out on the open instead of only in the secrecy of your room. How fullish said dreams tasted now.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” You mutter but she frowns at you. “It does to me.” You lock eyes and still, no visible sign of her tricks.
“Look, I’ve been looking for you for almost a year now and after I caught rumors of your new work, I started to track you down. That shot yesterday? Pretty impressive by the way.” She assumed a rather unease position, maybe finally letting her masks down. Maybe.
“And all this time playing chase with you only made the anticipation grow and I swear I had a made-up speech ready, but all of that means nothing if I don’t get you to understand that I regret leading you on the way I did.” She got up to her feet and walked to the door.
“But, like I said, I never lied when I said I love you that night.” She stopped and fully looked at you for one last time and your heart ached at how beautiful she looked like this, without her layers. But then, the scars on you screamed for you to sober up and not let your guard down.
After all, you knew all too well how she always could put herself at the most vulnerable place just to get what she wanted from her victim, her techniques of interrogation and manipulation where all known but you had seen it beforehand. One too many times.
“What happened to your ‘love is for children’?” Your eyes were stone hard and although they should be a mirror of your heart, they were, in fact, a stark contrast. You knew you were crazy for letting yourself getting involved in first place, for falling in love with her, let alone to think she’d ever stop holding back.
“I met you.” She shot you a so, so small smile that you thought you had imagined it, before slipping through the door, leaving you stunned in her wake.
I actually got chills at the ending of the Queen Of Promise!!!
Oh my lord, I absolutely ate up this story! I could not stop reading it!
I LOVE it so much, and I want to thank you for it!
And I hope you are doing well!
Oh Lord! I literally don’t know how long this have been sitting in my inbox. I’m so sorry if you sent this a while ago I simply didn’t get the notification for this. But better late then never, right?!
I am doing quite fine, thank you. And how are you doing?
I’m so glad you enjoyed QoP because I really loved writing it. Well, we all love all the stories we write but I actually enjoyed reading and navigating the story as a reader, you know?!
So thank you for passing by and leaving this message for me ❤️
