inspired by this post i saw and completely lost my mind over
too tired to be thinking coherently. head full with an annoying buzzing sensation and eyes barely open from the subtle, watery layer that would constantly cover up her eyes, for so long now, she couldn’t even remember the last time her eyelids didn’t feel numb.
without looking, she opened the drawer at the bottom side of her mom’s old desk and moved a couple of paper envelopes before reaching for what she needed. after finding it, she took the small, shiny box with both hands, resting her forehead on her knuckles and taking a deep breath smelling her mother’s traces. it felt like an eternity, but the pass of time wasn’t a worry anymore, eternity alone felt so short yet endless, still emptier that one could ever imagine.
she took a cigarette out of the box and lit it up with a lighter that remains forgotten most of the time in her uniform’s pocket. she stared at the bright red tip letting the freed smoke fill the room for a moment, finally taking the filter to her lips and having a first drag, she found the burning sensation at the back of her throat kind of comforting, warm like the missing embrace her mind found the way to make up every night. she could’ve sworn a distorted whisper of her mom asking her where did she find those was heard as she let the smoke go out her nose, blank stare.
— ah Cass, Cass, Cass - she murmured to herself - you wished you were better at hiding things from me.
