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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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women in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)
Solange for AnOther magazine photographed by Gabriel Moses
Solange by Gabriel Moses for AnOther Magazine SS26 Issue 50. Styled by Nell Kalonji.
I’m in bed but I was thinking about a conversation I had last week and how we talk about doing the work on ourselves. About healing. How we talk about childhood experiences and traumas
And this person was telling me how nothing bad or traumatic happened to them during childhood, so they don’t feel like there’s anything to work on. And it made me think, we tend to associate healing with something dramatic. Big events. Clear trauma. Obvious wounds
But childhood doesn’t only shape us through what went wrong. It shapes us through what was normalized. I also want to throw in how big simple experiences and situations are for children, that as adults we see as no big deal at all. I see this a lot with people I know who have children, and notice how they take things we find minuscule very seriously
You don’t need a chaotic story to have patterns. You don’t need abuse to have blind spots. Sometimes it’s not about what happened to you but about what you learned something was. What you learned conflict looked like. How emotions were handled in your house. What was praised. What was ignored. What felt safe. What didn’t
And sometimes the “work” isn’t about repairing damage. It’s about becoming conscious
Because even a “good” childhood still installs beliefs. About money. About worth. About how much space you’re allowed to take up. About whether your needs are inconvenient or welcome. Healing isn’t only for the broken version of you. It’s for the unconscious version
So maybe the real question isn’t if something bad happened to us but what did we internalize without realizing it
Just like I remember a conversation with someone who has never even been in a relationship… but has a lot of triggers around relationships
That’s really what made me think about the more recent conversation all together. Because you don’t have to experience something directly for it to shape you. You can absorb it. From your parents. From watching other people’s dynamics. From what was modeled. From what wasn’t modeled
If you grew up watching love feel unstable, distant, emotionally unavailable etc your nervous system still learned something. Even if no one ever hurt you “personally.” Even if you’ve never dated
You can fear abandonment without ever being abandoned by a partner. You can fear intimacy without ever having experienced it. You can have triggers around commitment without ever committing
Because what you’re reacting to isn’t the relationship. It’s the blueprint. And sometimes the work isn’t about unpacking trauma. But asking yourself where you learned something. Especially if you’re not liking the results you’re getting
For me personally, I keep it simple. My baseline is: am I happy? Am I actually getting what I want?
Not what sounds good on paper. Not what looks mature. Not what I’ve learned to tolerate. But what I genuinely want
Because at some point, all the inner work, the childhood conversations, the awareness, it has to translate into real life.
Am I choosing relationships that feel safe?
Am I building a life that feels aligned?
Am I shrinking or expanding?
I don’t overcomplicate it
If I’m constantly triggered, constantly justifying, constantly explaining why something “isn’t that bad” “I turned out fine” “this is good enough” then that’s information. And if I feel clear and at peace, that’s information too
The work matters. Awareness matters. But at the end of the day, I just ask myself if it is making me happy & all that or if I’m repeating something I learned a long time ago
Okay sweet dreams
You never want to take your lover's presence for granted —not touching in the morning or skipping out on a kiss before leaving home. These small acts, often dismissed, are deeply sacred. Personally I don’t see them just as affection. They are resistance. Because when we stop touching, when we stop looking at each other, really seeing the other, we slowly begin to match the frequency of a world that thrives on coldness—keeping people looking down at phones and being under-touched, under-loved, and under-aroused by life, being fully alive. The smallest gestures matter. Without them, we begin to align with a system designed to keep us under-fed in real intimacy—running cold and stagnant internally. This system of disconnection, stagnation, and exhaustion we live in wants more and more people lacking in arousal, libido, and intimacy, these very low "cold" scarcity, war-like frequencies that are completely unhealthy to female physiology, all human physiology. This ‘coldness’ breeds low arousal, low desire, and low connection. It manufactures disconnection between bodies—between lovers, between the self and the innocence of sensuality and the erotic in everyday life. It prizes productivity over presence and efficiency over emotion. It keeps women ‘cold’ because cold women are bored, complacent and easier to control. They consume more. They buy more. They comply more. They follow the leader more. They dream less and see their natural beauty even lesser. They close up and dry out. That’s because female physiology doesn’t thrive in cold. It stiffens. It closes. It forgets its own loveliness. If we want to end the war out there, we have to end the war within our own bodies, within our own homes, within our own eros. Becoming warmer, curating greater warmth all around. —India Ame’ye
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Curate Warmth All Around:
Sun —on skin, yoni, buttocks, scalp, and nipples and in the eyes (for the more advanced practitioners)
Express love out loud (little notes, in language, in presence)
Deeply vulnerable heart-connected sex
Listen to music that moves your hips and ass
Dance with abandon
Beauty (noticing beauty in the smallest details of life)
Food shared and made with love and care
People spaces—full of laughter and ease
Energy that flows, not freezes
Wellness that nourishes
Intimacy without fear
Pleasure without guilt
Radiance from within
Sensuality alive and honored
Connection that feels safe and electric
Playfulness as rebellion
Compassion as strength
Empathy as power
Wonder as worldview
Joy as resistance
Erotic innocence reclaimed
Breath deep, slow, and unguarded
Flexibility in body and belief
Abundance in love, not just things —India Ame’ye, Author
there’s a shift that happens when you stop trying to escape the feelings and start learning from them. it doesn’t make the pain prettier. it just makes it yours and once it’s yours, you can shape it. transmute it. turn it into something else.
“We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.”
— Unknown