Maddie💖 @tayscatsby - Tumblr Blog

@taylorswift pls read this💖

Dear Taylor,

My name is Madison Whitesel but I prefer Maddie. I’m 16 years old and like any other swiftie it’s my dream to meet you.

Ever since I was 3 years old, I’ve liked your music. Growing up I was obsessed with Hannah Montana but I still enjoyed listening to your music on the side.

When I heard WANEGBT I came a huge fan.

When I was 9 years old just a month away from turning 10, I had a bad cough. It was so bad that I had to go the the Emergency Room. The nurses did x-rays and from then, my life and body was changed forever. They had found that I had a case of scoliosis (curve in the spine). I was going given medicine for the cough and had sat up an appointment with a doctor.

When I went to him, he had told me that I had, severe scoliosis, Kyphosis ( makes my spine worse) and Neurofibromas or NF1 (Made my bones brittle and caused birthmarks to form all over my body). I was scheduled an appointment for surgery in mid December of 2012. When it came to the day I was terrified. It was my first surgery EVER and I didn’t know what to expect. I ended up staying a week there. The hospital staff was so nice and brought gifts since it was so close to Christmas, they sent my room all sorts of gifts and even gave me $20 worth of quarters for the vending machines. When the long week of pain and relearning to walk again, I got to go home. As the weeks went by, my chest started to stick out, my curve got worse making me have a large hump on my back and my body leaning to one side. I was bullied everyday because of it. People would always say “ahh watch out for the huntch back of noterdame” and I would try my best to laugh it off but it hurt so bad. When I would go home all i did was cry and thinking to myself “why me!? Why do I have to look so different from everyone else!?”

I tried numerous braces but none of them worked so I went to a different doctor who introduced us to a doctor in Indianapolis, Indiana. So we took the 2 and a half hour ride down there. They did X-rays and I was soon up for another surgery in May 2013. Only that this surgery was going to be the biggest in my life.

The day comes in May and I went under. They took the old hardware from the surgery before and placed me in a halo contraction. Basically it’s like a metal thing that has 4 bolts going into my skull and attracted rope to the top of the bed. I then also had the same thing but at my knees at each leg. I was never showed the surgery before I got it. I was told that I would be scared. I rather of seen this before it happened because I was more scared of it then everything.

I was in the bed for 3 weeks straight. I was unable to get up. Not even if I had to go the the bathroom or bathe myself. The nurses toll helped with that.

3 weeks later I got another surgery to remove the contraction at my knees, more and longer hardware in my back, and placed in a halo vest. After a few days rest, I had to relearn how to walk. It hurt so bad and my legs felt like jello. Later that week, I was able to go home after a month in the hospital.

The summer was the worst. In the halo vest, i wasn’t aloud to get showers, baths or even swim in a pool.

After 3 months in the halo vest, I had developed an infection. I had to get yet another surgery to get the halo taken off finally. And I was placed in a neck collar for the next 6 months. Luckily i got the vest off just in time before school started up again. I couldn’t imagine what kids would say if I had it on still.

Even with a neck collar on, i was still made fun of. People would make jokes saying that they’ll trip me. I would say something to the teachers and they will say I’m making stuff up for attention and nothing was done.

Over the 6 months I had to do physical therapy for my neck. It hurt so much that at times I would refuse to do it.

In February the next year I had to get ANOTHER surgery to clip rods that pulled from the bone in a car accident. (Minor, no one was hurt)

Later on we heard about another brace called “tornado brace” and it basically is a brace that wraps around my chest, lower back, and leg. We had to go the Grand Blanc, Michigan which was a very very long drive from Fort Wayne, Indiana.

I tried the vest but it wasn’t showing much results and it put to much pressure on my chest no matter how many times I would loosen it up. So we stopped going up there.

Pretty much since, it’s been non stop appointments all over Fort Wayne and a couple times in Indianapolis.

I still get bullied constantly but i try my hardest to shake it off (pun intended).

Right now my biggest struggle is trying to gain weight. Because of all the surgeries and my spine pinching my lungs(makes it to where breathing eats my carbs up) it makes it harder to gain weight no matter how much or what I eat. I’m also dealing with bad anxiety and depression. I try not to let myself think on ways for it to stop. But sometimes it’s so hard that it takes over me. I’ve only self harmed once and that was 4 years ago. I just can’t be that happy.

Last September 15,2018 one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see you. You were amazing and beautiful. When you were performing love story, your mom past me and I tried to go up to her to talk to her or like get a picture but, others pushed me away. I was hurt at first but I stopped and enjoyed myself. I was the most happiest as I ever been in the last few years of my scoliosis journey.

Because of you, I haven’t gave up on life. It was your words, lyrics and dedication towards the swifties and I thank you for that. My main goal in life isn’t to have a family or have a big job (they are still important to me) but, to thank you for everything face to face. To be able to hug the person who was there to pick me up in my worse times. Thank you. I will love you forever and always❤️

⁃ Maddie Whitesel (@tayscatsby~Twitter & tumbler) (@maddies_reputation ~ Instagram)

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