Old Timey Stories @oldtimeystories - Tumblr Blog

So how are we feeling about the persuasion trailer

#Anne would rather die than look into the camera like she’s on the office #worse than exes friends no you’re not #persuasion #jane austen #classics #persuasion 2022 #persuasion netflix

If Catherine Morland traded places with Jonathan Harker, Dracula would be like ten pages max

#she would accuse Dracula of being a vampire before she even met him #and then she would stay at his castle anyway #northanger abbey #jane austen #jane austen memes #Dracula #Dracula daily #literature

"Look at the hams on that old-timer"

- The Odyssey translated by Robert Fagles 18.86

#no im not joking #i believe the hams are supposed to be his thighs #odyssey #homer #classics #tagamemnon

The funniest thing I’ve ever read in a regency novel is Belinda having a character who takes so much opium she would have died had she not been of secret hulk strength.

Bonus points because she’s cross-dressed multiple times and had an obvious crush on her former best friend.

#lady delacour #knows how to girlboss gaslight gatekeeper #Belinda #Maria edgeworth #regency novels #regency #literature memes #literature

Say what you will about Clytemnestra, but she invented girlbossing

#not even joking #i love how homer wants us to hate her #but she's ridding the world of agammemnon #so good deeds all around #homer #tagamemnon #classics memes

Am I the only one who thinks the Odyssey reads kind of like a self insert fanfic?

"This is my OC, his name is Odysseus, he has a tragic backstory and he's smarter than literally everyone else. All the women he meets want to seduce him because he's just so hot. Also he's so special that a goddess follows him around. Let me know what you think! :)"

#odyssey #the odyssey #homer #classics memes #tagamemnon

Four books into the Odyssey and by far my favorite part is how casual people are about gods masquerading as humans.

Like. In casual conversation, they’ll say things like “yeah Telemachus left with Mentor for Pylos, but I saw Mentor yesterday here yesterday. Must have been a god, huh?” and everyone’s like “yup that tracks.”

#the odyssey #homer #classics memes #tagamemnon

Today I discovered the best Wikipedia page

The page “List of Poem by Catullus” provides one line summaries of most Catullus poems.

It starts off pretty tame, with your generic napkin thieves and Lesbia poems.

Followed by some genuinely good advice. I, for one, have definitely given advise in line with Catullus 24. And who hasn’t thought that “boyfriends can’t be trusted”!

Catullus 33, on the other hand, seems like a great idea for a bad comedy. I’m thinking Vin Diesel as the dad?

In this next section, we’ll find the poem that I most relate to (”woman asking for money (political)”).

Our next section takes us into the political views of Catullus, which are definitely relatable. Although I’m intrigued by “surprise threesome” (56), the bitter tones of “my (our) ex is a slut now” and the sheer mystique of “adultery and graverobbing” are also enticing.

Surprisingly, Catullus finally catches on to what’s up with his lover in Catullus 79, aptly summarized as “she loves her brother a little too much.” He also serves the deeply relatable moments of “she insults me because she still cares” (83) and “making fun of pronunciation” (84).

He finally concludes with a thrilling saga that summarizes the vibes of ancient Rome.

In conclusion, Catullus is maybe not that bad and whoever wrote these wikipedia summaries is a kind soul.

#tag yourself #i guess #already established but i'm women asking for money (political)#catullus #classics #classics memes #tagamemnon

I think we can all agree that the hardest anyone has ever carried a group project was Achilles in the Greek army

#like literally as soon as he stops fighting they're like #welp this is it for us #except for diomedes #my favorite #iliad #the iliad #homer #classics #classics memes #tagamemnon

Concept: the cask of amontillado but it’s gamer juice

#edgar allan poe #literature jokes #literary humor #literature memes

I would like to nominate Mr. Hurst for most relatable character in Pride and Prejudice, who, while Darcy is admiring Elizabeth for walking three miles to see Jane, “was thinking only of his breakfast.”

#pride and prejudice #Jane Austen #pride and prejudice jokes #pride and prejudice memes #literature jokes #literary humor

1000% my favorite part of the Iliad is that everyone’s constantly talking about how much they wish Paris was dead

#no one shades helen #and theyre right #but they all hate paris #the iliad #iliad #homer #classics #classics memes

Am I misreading this or does the truce break in Book 4 happen because someone shoots Menelaus in the dick

#iliad #the iliad #homer #classics #classics memes #classics jokes

After reading book 1 of the Iliad, I am forced to conclude that someone wronged a priest of Apollo this year

#iliad #the iliad #homer #classics #classics jokes #classics memes

Victor Frankenstein’s only crime was being really good at upcycling.

#frankenstein #mary shelley #literature memes #literature jokes #literary humor