Shit just got real.
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@once-upon-a-plot-hole
Shit just got real.
A Brief History Of Once Upon A Time
Note: Contains possible spoilers for season 5 through to season 10! …But probably not.
See the full-size image at my deviant art page (goofymonkey.deviantart.com)
I’m bringing this back because it will always be the best description of OUAT.
Next time, ask for a pilot.
From the LA Times review:
Last year, ABC Family’s newly renamed Freeform gave “Once Upon a Time” creators Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis, along with Ian Goldberg, one of its writers, a full season order for their summer-camp “horror” series “Dead of Summer.” A light homage to “Friday the 13th” and other ’80s horror movies in which nubile camp counselors are systematically terrorized-slash-killed, “Dead” had a solid enough hook, a creepy setting and, eventually, a decent cast headed by “Once Upon a Time’s” Elizabeth Mitchell and Elizabeth Lail.
So how bad could it be?
Very bad, as it turns out. And not just very bad, but very bad in a completely uninteresting way. Which is the worst.
and
The result is a disjointed, absurd and only mildly frightening story that, three hours in, is still flailing more frantically than a teen falling out of a canoe into a lake full of corpses.
though this might be my favorite line in the review…
As with an Ikea product, each of these parts makes some sort of sense when viewed on its own, but the proof is in the assembly, and the creative team appears to have lost the Allen wrench that would make this possible.
Using the narrative equivalent of duct tape, they attempt to stick one implausible scene/event to another, over and over again, until whatever shape they originally had in mind becomes a leaning, creaking, misshapen jumble that might be frightening if it weren’t so obviously made of, you know, duct tape.
chortle
Originally posted by lnkzy
THIS SHOCKING NEWS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SURPRISED BY ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. I am stunned, stunned, I say, to hear that these two writers have put out something so awful! I can not get over my shock! Surely, this is just some large scale jest.
And the bitter ex ouat fans come out to point and laugh. Vindication, this is
Two strikes …
Nah, it’s three. They were responsible for Tron, legacy
A triumph of art direction, sound design and Gallic phat beats, but could do with a script upgrade and fun.exe patch.
X
any chance people stop letting them run things soon, do we think? or is the protection of white dude mediocrity too powerful?
This is actually further proof that these two got incredibly lucky in this industry I mean both Lost and OUaT the only big successes. And in both, they were already put on a golden plate for them. Didn’t they come after Lost was already conceptualize? And wasn’t OUaT first seasons were laid out for them? Is anyone surprised that this project failed?
i’m pretty sure they were just hired writers on LOST (with producer credits later on). i think what is surprising is HOW bad they really are when they have to do things on their own. like, we knew it was bad, but HOBOY.
Seriously, we should collect all of the dumbass quotes that have come out of Kitsowitz’s mouths and put them into a book titled “How to Know if You’re a Bad Writer”.
And we could follow it up by packaging the OUAT DVDs with a retitle: How to Write a Terrible Television Show
Why does EVERY villain need a redemption story?
Jenifer Still
Why don't the laws of magic make any sense? I mean, I know magic is kind of fickle by nature, but it never follows the same rules twice on this show
Jennifer Still
WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS PIECE OF GLASS?!?!?!
Just a little bit of context… This is the glass that Regina drops down the grater after Henry is saved from the mine. But does anyone know its significance?
A month late, but if anyone still cares for the answer, I’ll reply. This piece of glass is actually a shard from Snow White’s glass coffin that she was placed in after eating the poisonous apple. If you watch after the shard falls in, it hits the coffin which shows a) the fairy tales are real like Henry said and b)the coffin is in the mines which is why Henry felt so strongly there was something in the mines that would show the truth.
I said it once and I say it again: once upon a time this show was..awesome..
New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is going..shall we? https://t.co/1kLvrFnvMQ" https://t.co/D7UmYuHfDF , IFTT…
New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is going..shall we? http://pic.twitter.com/1kLvrFnvMQ" https://t.co/D7UmYuHfDF , IFTT…
— OnceUponAPlotHole (@OnceUponAPlot) June 28, 2016
via Twitter https://twitter.com/OnceUponAPlot June 28, 2016 at 11:02PM
New tumblr post: "New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is..." https://t.co/zveNEQkfmB , reginamills, regina mill…
New tumblr post: "New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is..." https://t.co/zveNEQkfmB , reginamills, regina mill…
— OnceUponAPlotHole (@OnceUponAPlot) June 28, 2016
via Twitter https://twitter.com/OnceUponAPlot June 28, 2016 at 11:02PM
The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is going..shall we? https://t.co/1kLvrFnvMQ
The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is going..shall we? http://pic.twitter.com/1kLvrFnvMQ
— OnceUponAPlotHole (@OnceUponAPlot) June 28, 2016
via Twitter https://twitter.com/OnceUponAPlot June 28, 2016 at 10:54PM
New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is..." https://t.co/zveNEQkfmB , reginamills, regina mills, reginamillsedit…
New tumblr post: "The Evil Queen..let’s See how the new season is..." https://t.co/zveNEQkfmB , reginamills, regina mills, reginamillsedit…
— OnceUponAPlotHole (@OnceUponAPlot) June 28, 2016
via Twitter https://twitter.com/OnceUponAPlot June 28, 2016 at 10:54PM
The Evil Queen..let's See how the new season is going..shall we?
Quick question: can’t Henry just write “and they all lived happily ever after”? No, for some reason I suppose not.
Lily Sparks http://www.tv.com/shows/once-upon-a-time-2011/community/post/once-upon-a-time-season-5-finale-episode-22-episode-23-only-you-an-untold-story-review-146333355746/page2/
Has anyone brought up in the new season that since Emma is a product of true love, no one is supposed to be able to tear out her heart? We saw this with Cora when there was that whole thing on the edge of the portal andCora got really confused because she couldn't pull Emma's heart out of her chest. Emma was all "love isn't weakness, its strength" and there was that burst of light that knocked out Cora. But in the episode from last night Regina AND Hades tore out her heart and Regina split it.
Yes…what is this about? I was wondering about it too. Was this addressed in the show? Anyone?
WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS PIECE OF GLASS?!?!?!
Just a little bit of context… This is the glass that Regina drops down the grater after Henry is saved from the mine. But does anyone know its significance?
Once Upon a Time's "Sisters" was a great reminder of how, with the fluid timeline and spectrum of memory-erasure curses, any plotline can be easily retconned by sliding in a brand new backstory. Zelena and Regina need to start liking each other? Here's a hastily cobbled together backstory about the time they were friends. And boom! Now they're sisters. If they need to be enemies again, Regina can just cast her mind back to that one time Zelena posed as a dead woman to rape Robin Hood. Or Zelena can consider that thanks to Regina she's essentially a hostage of the Charmings.
Lily Sparks http://www.tv.com/shows/once-upon-a-time-2011/community/post/once-upon-a-time-season-5-episode-19-sisters-review-146156132750/
Ursula
Ok so Ursula is supposedly the daughter of Poseidon but Ariel is the daughter of Triton and Triton is Poseidon’s son so Ariel is Ursula’s niece?????