Here is some goodbye, and well, I hope someone actually read this. Bad english below, sorry.
So, it was really fucking long time since I last update something here. Honestly, I don’t even want to check how long. I’m sitting on my bed right now, waiting for my friend come to my place, my dog is right behind me and I can fell how warm is she. My life was a fucking mess, everything was fucked up and I can’t stand it. I still can see my scars and I hate them, and well, I kinda hate myself.
But, fuck, it is great.
I have people who belive in me. Who love me. I don’t know why they do, cause I’m probably shitty friend, but thats’s the best of me. Every day I’m doing everything to be better. And I am. I’m not cured. I can’t be cured, I hated myself for so long that probably it can’t be fixed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t like some parts of me. And I do. And there is so much more to like in me. I can’t wait to do this.
So, there is a lot of things I want to say. Cause I know that somewhere on this crazy site you are hiding and maybe even reading this. You are a lot like me, you don’t like your life and you hate yourself. I know that you won’t be cure when you read it, but I want you to have some hope. If I can do this, you can do it even better, Like yourself. Dont give up. Please. It won’t be easy. And it will suck. But, just do it. Show this shitty part of you that you can rock and be a lot more than sad. Life isn’t so bad, it’s just fucking unfair. But hey, who said it will be easy? You can be better than everything, you are someones whole world. Even if you are tired, I was so tired that I had 5 suicide attempt, and fuck, there always were people who rescue me and cry cause I was so fucking stupid that I can’t saw this. Don’t do this. Be smarter than me.
And if you say that no one love you, you are wrong.
Text me. I fucking love you. You are precious. You need to belive in this.
I will be here for you.
