My Life In Words

Here is where I tell stories about my life, my friends, the good times and the bad.

[ponderation]

Nathaniel Wise

[onceuponadayinmylife]

🐶🐾

Yesterday was the greatest day. We brought home our puppy!! He is only 4 months old, so he is a lot of work - but so worth it! I am so in love and dri happy to have found him! 😊🐶

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Late night thought bubbles

As I've decided to stay up and scroll through tumblr with mellow music playing from my phone, my mind can't help but wander.

The person that you're with, do they just become "the one" because we're comfortable with them? Does the line "right person wrong time" just comfort us when something doesn't work out? What does it mean to love someone?

These things have popped into my head as I lay here thinking of my life. I can't help but wonder if there are little lies we tell ourselves to get through hard times .. but why? Eventually people drift apart and that person you thought was perfect for you turns out to be not so great in retrospect. And the person you do find will be a million times more than someone you could have ever imagined. Is that fate? Is the universe giving me what I need? Or am I piecing all this together to feel better about my decisions?

Life is weird. Life is messy. And life is beautiful.

This is a weird post. But I needed to get some of my thoughts out of my head.. it's starting to get crowded up here.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Sanctuary.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Soon.

I want our own place.

A dog.

Him every night of the week next to me.

Movie marathons in bed.

Adventurous days.

The good.

With the good must come the bad and the ugly. That's ok, life is messy, relationships are messy and people are messy. I'm ready to share everything with him.

But I'm scared. What if we share all these wonderful things and it doesn't work? Then what? It is so scary that I see him in my future and that I can't picture it without him.

Here's to continuing with the good and getting through everything else together. Hand in hand.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Life and People

Normally it takes a lot to upset or anger me, but lately it seems like that is all I manage to feel. There are so many changes happening and people leaving and new people coming that it's hard to keep things straight. See the problem lies in people not being honest, not saying how they feel and/or just not saying anything. I'm not sure which is worse. I'm tired of it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Is that so hard?!

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Weirdly amazing days.

Do you ever have those days or nights were you talk with people and let things out? You just take what's inside you and spill, like a pot boiling over. And then people you're with just help to solidify things in your life - like they see the good things that you have been surrounded by. I had an unexpected night out of adventures, got about four hours of sleep and I woke up with a clear head, an open mind and an even more open heart. It was one of those nights were it felt like I pushed the reset button on myself and I feel so incredible.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Frustrated.

I've never been good at talking about how I feel to anyone about any emotion really. And lately I find myself shutting down anytime something makes me happy. It's like I'm so scared for that feeling to be taken away, that I'd rather not have it at all .. this way if someone takes it away or something doesn't work out, it's OK because it didn't make me feel any certain way. I catch myself closing myself off to him, and he is so far away right now literally. It's like anytime I feel really happy I think about friends who've had the carpet ripped from under them or the person they trusted the most screw them over. And I know that that is sometimes a part of life but I feel like I've been so unhappy before at the hand of other people that I don't want that anymore. And I don't mean other people have a pull on how I feel, but I've had good people leave my life without warning for no reasons at all and I just don't think I can do it again. It may sound silly, but I don't want to get hurt or allow someone else to hurt me. So might as well just shut them all out right?

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Home for the holidays

I have loved being home so far. Being able to hang out with my mom is incredible, she's my best friend and now that we live far away from each other I treasure all our time we have together. And seeing the rest of my family has been so nice too! But this trip I realized something. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I still lived with my parents, in my hometown. I am so fortunate to have been able to move somewhere else and find a second family in my great friends and boyfriend. But I think back about myself and all I see is growth. I would love to live closer to my mom, but I love my life how it is right now. I know my next year may be tough or a bit unorthodox but I can't tell you how ready I am to grow even more. Not just in my person, but my career as well. 2017, I'm ready for you.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Weird.

Things have been crazy, hectic, busy, and I love it. But I need a break. Just a day or two to lay in bed and watch Netflix. I've been on the go for almost two weeks now and I just want to go back to simplicity. I also just want to go back to how things were with him before. I feel like I don't get to see him as much as I'd like. And I feel like a bother whenever I ask for attention 🙈

[beautiful-chaosss]

You

I’m so crazy about you. You’re all I desire when I wake up, when I’m making breakfast, when I’m at the gym, when I’m laying in bed listening to music, when Im having a bad day at work and want to come home to you, when I’m anxious, while I’m out adventuring. I want you and only you. I want to experience the world with you and grow with you. I’ve never wanted someone or something so badly in my life and I’m so beyond blessed that it’s you.

[ill-let-it-fl0w]

Oh fucking man I need to kiss you ah 😩

[onceuponadayinmylife]

2 more days.

We've been apart now for just over a week and part of me wants to see him and wrap myself around him and never let him go. The other half doesn't really care and wants him to be away longer. This makes no sense to me. But I think it's because I want to show him (and myself) that I can be apart from him with no problem. I do want to see him and honestly I just wish he were home to cuddle with me tonight ...

[hplyrikz]

I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul. This world is so guarded and fearful. I appreciate rawness so much.

(via hplyrikz)

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Weekend.

I was really looking forward to my friend coming to visit this weekend. We hadn't seen each other in awhile and she is one of my best friends. We planned to go for a hike yesterday and the boy and another friend came too. It was a great hike, other than getting lost and walking for longer than we wanted to but oh well. On our walk we decision to play monopoly that night and since none of us had it we'd have to go buy it. We went to two stores and both didn't have it, so we bought a different game and went home. About a half an hour later the dogs started barking and losing there minds running to the door. The boy was back (he didn't stay to play because he had his own plans) and he brought with him a brand new game of monopoly ... I am so spoiled and so lucky that I have someone like him. He is so sweet and thoughtful! So we played monopoly and had drinks and it was a great time 😊

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Apart.

This may sound silly but we've been apart for two days and I'm ready for him to come see me. I know time apart is important, but there's nothing more I want than to be playful with him and hold him and be held. He makes me smile all the time and I just enjoy his presence. He makes me feel safe and secure, I really like that.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Easter with the family.

Little late, but I brought the boy home with me for Easter weekend and it was better than I could have imagined. He got along great with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle liked him and he got along swimmingly with my cousins! I also met some of the important people in his life and I was told that they liked me too 😊 We also had an amazing time at the Garth Brooks concert. Honestly, if I could replay any weekend it would be that one. He spoils me and makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

[onceuponadayinmylife]

Actions speak louder than words.

I realized this the other day .. his actions are what make me feel wanted, beautiful and appreciated. Don't get me wrong, his words help. But it really is the little things that help me to realize that his actions will follow his words. He is real and he is wonderful. I am too lucky.