under new management

basically an incorrect opm quotes blog

[one-pun-man]

Genos : So you joined a contest where the price is a year of free eggs.

Saitama : Yeah.

Genos : Wouldn't it be eggciting if you won?

Saitama : ...Did you just.

[one-pun-man]

Genos : I assure you, I’m not jealous. I just get a horrible burning feeling in my stomach when I think about Sensei's accepting a disciple other than me.

King : That's jealousy.

Mumen Rider : Or heartburn, have you eaten spicy foods lately?

[one-pun-man]

Saitama : I'm gay.

Amai Mask : Oh, that's fine. As long as you don't get a crush on me.

Saitama : Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't have standards.

[one-pun-man]

Saitama : So what time does the judgmental express arrive?

Genos : Amai Mask gets here at noon sensei.

[one-pun-man]

Fubuki : Sarcasm does not become you.

Saitama : Maybe not but it does sustain me.

[one-pun-man]

Garou : Dear Santa

Garou : I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty…

Garou : and it was worth it, you fat, judgemental bastard.

[one-pun-man]

Saitama : Merry Crisis everyone..

Genos : Don't you mean Merry Christmas?

Saitama : No.

[one-pun-man]

Garou : Sometimes you gotta be spontaneous and just try something. Like one time I was like “I’m gonna eat a lemon, and not film it”.

Saitama : Then what’s the point?

Garou : Sometimes I do the cinnamon challenge just to feel something.

Metal Bat : Oh my god, I married a child.

[one-pun-man]

Garou : After the twist, you'll hear a snap. Then the body goes ragdoll on ya.

Metal Bat : And that will knock him out...even more?

Garou : That'll kill him.

Metal Bat : I don't want to kill him!

Garou : Alright fine, crybaby. Just tie him up and, maybe I guess gag him. But at the first sign of trouble I want you to at least break both his knees.

[one-pun-man]

Zombieman : Dying sucks butt! How do you living beings cope with mortality?

Garou : Violent outbursts.

Fubuki : General sluttiness.

King : Thanks to denial, I’m imortal!

[one-pun-man]

Saitama, on Tuesday: It's been a long ass week.

[one-pun-man]

A hot day at the Hero Association.

Saitama : You’re not sweating.

Tatsumaki : Uh-huh.

Saitama : How could you not be sweating?

Tatsumaki : I don’t sweat.

Saitama : Everybody sweats.

King : Not Tatsumaki.

Child Emperor : Tatsumaki never sweats.

Saitama : What do you mean she never sweats?

Tatsumaki : Sweating is gross, so I don’t do It.

Saitama : So what? Your just... Cold-blooded?

Fubuki : *Sarcastically* Tatsumaki? Cold-blooded? What a surprise.

[one-pun-man]

I am never wrong. I thought I was wrong once but I was wrong.

Tatsumaki

[one-pun-man]

King : I guess I'm just too tough to cry. Saitama : Just today you were crying about snakes. King : *voice cracking* They don't have any arms!

[one-pun-man]

Saitama : He took my best friend! Genos is kidnapped and it's all my fault! Tatsumaki : He took Genos?! King : Our Genos? Saitama : What other Genos is there?!

[one-pun-man]

Saitama : Let’s do this! *cracks knuckles softly*

Genos : Wow Sensei. Your knuckles are quiet.

Saitama : They’re polite.

[one-pun-man]

Um... can you do some Steven Universe quotes? I don't know if you've done any before, but they tend to have some funny lines...

No Problem I ADORE Steven Universe and I’ve been slacking off on recent episode’s I will try and get them done as quickly as i can. 😊

[ametrineluckyfashion-deactivate]

Yass! Omg you replied very quickly too lol…

[one-pun-man]

I only replied quick because you did a good job telling me exactly what you wanted I can find quotes fast if a request is easy like yours. 😊