I shall smelt you a medal.
Blogging is much more complicated now, but everything is more complicated now, so it makes sense, and not much makes sense now. So, good.
I’m writing this hoping nobody will find me, although if someone wanted to find me they would. So congratulations, if you have found me. I shall smelt you a medal.
If I shared this link with you personally, then you know you’re special and don’t need a lousy medal to confirm it.
I moved from NYC to Columbus Ohio about two and a half months ago, and it’s been wonderful and horrible and overwhelming and underwhelming and everything else.
Change is only as good as the good that comes from it. And by that metric, this one is good. It is. Good. But it is also not what I would have wanted had someone asked me, nor is it what I would have wanted had I known. It is just this – change. And, among many other things, I am realizing that my life needs a creative outlet more than ever, among other things. Something to steady the ship, as it were.
The days have slid by quickly, and now that they are slowing down somewhat, I’m realizing that the honeymoon is over. As it were. As it be. Let it be.
You can move to a place that seemed so relatively full of people you know and love, but you will still feel alone. You can get a job that has you interacting with other people, only to realize that you’re not so good at interacting and you end up spending a lot of time worried about whether you’re going to get fired for some improbable reason. Which we all hope you will not.
It’s different here. I miss my friends in NYC, and I can feel them drifting away from me, and I’m not sure if I should be doing more to stop it, and it makes me sad that they’re not doing more to stop it.
I’ve been smoking (and eating) too much pot. And eating. I had a profound DMT trip in which I was floating in a colorful world in which time doesn’t exist. It was neat. I had unprotected sex.
I feel like the people around me are all losing their minds. Sometimes you don’t want to look under the covers.
Nevertheless, tomorrow at work I will ask everyone how they are and make an effort to be friendly and etc. I need to learn to love it, all of it, because it is a big part of my life, and if it isn’t fun it should be. And stop sighing. And don’t be a grump.
Maybe I’m the crazy one.