No real plan, but a whole lotta ass @oneinagazillion - Tumblr Blog

sometimes when you're travelling you will see a beautiful unique bird that captures your attention completely and you will discover that the locals call it the Boring Sparrow and there's 70 000 000 of them and they eat nothing but spicy chicken wings they find in dumpsters.

general-book-nerd

Some of my favourite examples.

#universal experience with robins #“oh what a pretty bird #assholes!

nineinchmales

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

andpierres

you should have seen me a couple of years ago!

cdplayer

"sound of the summer is this song" WRONG. its cicadas

cdplayer

for the 40th to 200th million summer in a row

memecucker

ottisbuns

epicsause-official

i think we are long overdue for a game that does the reverse of 90s first person shooters and actively makes fun of the player for picking the hard difficulty

epicsause-official

heres kinda what i mean

perplexingly

Don't be shackled by the idea that going out can only be done with a group of friends, learn to feel comfortable going alone [remembers that encouraging consumerism isn't progressive] into the deep dark woods

redstonedust

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

johnnysmissingass-deactivated20

😭😭😭

your-dewey-decimal-number-is

793.85

card tricks

kaida427

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

your-dewey-decimal-number-is

611.642

the prepuce (aka foreskin)

is a simple "please" too much to ask?

kaida427

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

your-dewey-decimal-number-is

179.92

forgiveness

artofdisneyfairies

Illustration by Casey Robin

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

samirasystole

ahhh so you're shown to be capable of recognising that people's trauma can make them act irrationally and unpleasantly! you recognised it in the white man! can you also recognise it in the brown woman? no? she's mean and bitchy and uncaring? i see

lobstabear

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

knittingontheroad

I became a tattoo artist at 49.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

As long as you're breathing, you've got time.

scurviesdisneyblog

Milo character designs for Atlantis: The Lost Empire by John Pomeroy

rainbowgaez

let the bodies hit the floor is such a scary song. usually bodies hitting the floor isn’t a good thing but this guy wants it to happen anyway.

rainbowgaez

and yet he insists there’s nothing wrong with him. haunting

thesweetiepienovels

Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Walking for three minutes, is better than nothing. Drinking a glass of water and eating a snack, is better than nothing. Wiping down the counter, is better than nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. You don’t have to achieve grand things if all you’re capable of right now is the smaller things. They are still achievements. Don’t do nothing just because you don’t think you’re capable of doing bigger things, just do something you’re capable of today.