The Pain of Losing yourself for others
âI dreamt of her today, âThe little girl with dreams a little too big for her, âSparkly eyes and chubby cheeks, âAnd a ton of verbal whiplashes, âShe asked me a question, an innocent curiosity âShe asked of friends and a thounsand what becames; âI stood there, silent, lost for words, âUnable to say, unable to break her heart. âHow to tell her that it's all still the same? âHow to tell her that in a group she's still the last one left, âshe's still the one who cries silently in her pillows, while her friends plan dates, âAnd smile when they ask her how she's been? âHow do I tell her that even now her dreams are still just that, dreams âUnfulfilled, scattered, forgotten. âHow do I tell her that luck is still not on her side, she toiled and lost , and again, âAnd no one was there to hold her through it all. âThey joked around her, consoled, asked her to let go, âBut they never understood her, and then she just stopped. âYears and years, days and days, minute by minute, she drew in, âAbandoned, in her cocoon, waiting for someone to reach out âShe called them friends, they called her so too âBut when the storm came, she was the only one drenched. âMarooned in her island of self-isolation, she reached out again âBut once again her presence was that of a cloud, the background noise. âI didnt have it in my heart to tell all this to that little girl; âI bent down, stroke her cheek, and smiled, âI woke up avoiding that confrontation. âFor I am still that little girl, with a heart full of longing.
