There's Herp All Up In My Derp!

WELCOME TO THE MADNESS!!! - Lots of ships and wacky shit. Some nsfw, also.

[anki-wan]

There is no place more comfortable and safe for little Anakin than in his master's arms.

[chronologyxxx]

i hate this stupid ass narrative about anakin being some kind of problem child that poor obi-wan had to constantly blush for and fix his problems and whatnot. have you even seen that kid in tpm?? little boy just got brought to tears by a group of grown ass men, and now he's apologizing to qui-gon for causing trouble. little bro did like, nothing wrong, he didn't even ask to be in this situation. but he tries to be quiet and apologizes, he wants to help and doesn't want to be a burden😭

like in general every time i see this idiotic "obi-wan was too soft on anakin and let him get away with everything, and that led to him becoming greedy and selfish and falling to the dark side" i go crazy, because have you even watched those dumb movies? obi-wan scolding anakin for promising padme to find whoever is trying to kill her, even though that's literally what she wants; obi-wan jumping out of a window and then scolding anakin for doing the same; in aotc obi-wan can't go a single scene without expressing his disapproval to anakin over every little thing, and even when anakin does everything right, he's still like, "yeah, i'm not sure my young padawan learner can be given missions, he'll definitely fail or do something stupid"

[anki-wan]

Anakin is devastated because his master abandoned him to the cruel Quinlan Vos, and now he is recounting to his beloved master what the terrible Quinlan did to him (prevented him from eating insects).

Quinlan is horrified by this little demon that Obi-Wan left in his care.

[nanadeyo]

Sometimes you gotta smoke one out with your enemy

[erinwantstowrite]

told y'all i was gonna draw this

[hurtspideyparker]

Harley: You can't tell anyone, but I really like Peter

Tony: Oh? Like...

Harley: Romantically you buffon. Get with the program, everyone's gay now

Tony: That's not what I meant but okay. I just thought you guys didn't get along

Harley: Why on Earth would you think that?

— *Ten minutes earlier* —

Peter: Mr. Stark I think Harley hates me

Tony: I'm sure he just—

Peter: He keeps calling me mean names, and punching me in the shoulder, and making fun of me for being clumsy or ugly or just tying my shoes weird. I think he's homophobic too, he keeps saying "what are you, gay?" in this aggressive tone

— *Present time* —

Harley: It's called flirting! Being mean is my love language

Tony: Okay well TELL HIM THAT. I can't stand his sad little puppy dog eyes whenever you enter the room

Harley: But then he'll know I like him...

Tony: *exhausted father noises*

[spideyson-stuff]

Harley calls Tony "Old Man" and "Dad"

Morgan calls Tony "Papa" and "Daddy"

Peter calls Tony "Mr. Stark" and "Tony"

Tony, Morgan and Harley are not happy about this

I imagine Peter calling Tony "Mr. Strak" by accident even after being officially adopted and and Morgan and Harley are like "You've got to be KIDDING me!?" and they look at Tony who's about to cry and are like "He's never going to get over this..."

A while later Harley Morgan and Pepper are comforting Tony saying that Peter still sees him as a father but Tony is still depressed

[teddytheartist]

Tony CANNOT stand them ,,, they don’t care lol.

(He loves them both very very much, also he wants their make out sessions to remain outside of his immediate vicinity at ALL times yay)

⋆.𐙚 ̊ check me out! > twt | Inst ⋆.𐙚 ̊

[thorspop-tarts]

Peter, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Peter: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…

Harley: It was you the fuck.

Peter: It was I the fuck…

Tony: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Harley: They the fuck.

[prkrknr]

harley: where's peter?

tony: what? do you think i have him microchipped or something?

harley: well do you?

tony:

tony: yeah, hang on

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony, pointing to Morgan: This is my daughter. I dreamt her existence up because she's so perfect and raised her with my soulmate. She's the sweetest and most precious thing on this planet

Tony, pointing to Peter and Harley: These are my raccoon sons. I found them in a pile of trash and they followed me home. As Morgan likes to say, "they're stinky but I love them anyways"

Peter: You love me? 🥺

Harley: Is that why Morgan got me deodorant for my birthday...I'm gonna throw it at her head

Morgan: AHHHHHHH

Tony: Anyways that's my family. How's yours?

*The kids running in the background*

Peter: Harley you can't persecute the truth if you want to abolish fascism!

Morgan: Daddy wrapped it, throw it at him!

Harley: I'm gonna throw it at all three of you like a boomerang—

Scott: Oh my family's great. We're happier than ever that Cassie's an only child

Tony: You and Hope don't want...?

Scott: No, no we really don't.

Tony, shrugging: To each their own—*gets wacked in the head with deodorant*

[abi7100]

Peter: *sneaks into the tower at 2am*

Tony: *turns in a swivel chair* Care to tell me where you were?

Peter: I was with.. uh... Harley..

Harley: *also turns in a swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Tony- I can't stop the chair-

[igibbydotcom]

ever think about how fucked up dumbledore is. like, lily and james named sirius as harrys godfather because they knew they were gonna die and they wanted him to raise harry when they inevitably did. Only for them to die and for sirius to show up for his child, and for dumbledore to take the child away from him. Plus he sent Hagrid to kidnap baby Harry so that sirius wouldn’t be able to shoot the messenger (so to speak). Then, he lets (yes LETS) sirius get arrested and sent to Azkaban so hes out of the way.

Because Dumbledore WANTED Harry raised by abusive muggles; he wanted Harry to be an abused child that never received love or validation cuz mf KNEW he was literally locked under the stairs. He wanted Harrys first taste of acceptance to be from himself and from the wizarding world so that harry would be so indebted to this new community that saved him , that he’d do anything dumbledore wanted.

Theres more reasons i hate dumbledore but this is one of my top reasons and why i HATE that harry names his child after him when hes the entire reason harry was abused. Growing up is realizing dumbledore is too morally gray for his stupid god complex

[pleeborp]

Guys I’m actually crying right now I’m so sad all the time over how Harry’s abuse is never addressed

He was ABUSED guys and NOBODY ever talked about it

And can you just imagine Harry James Potter waking up that first Christmas expecting nothing and then Ron Weasley his FIRST friend telling him he has PRESENTS. The joy the shock that boy must have felt. But can you imagine for a split second he doesn’t believe him. Can you imagine for one second that Harry thought Ron, his first friend, could be playing a cruel trick on him. You think Dudley never pulled that shit on him? You think he was never given false hope that he had presents before?

Or how about the fact that Harry probably woke up every morning for what was probably his first four months at Hogwarts at least, panicked and rushed to get up to make breakfast for the Dursley’s only to realize he didn’t have to. Can you imagine the relief? The weight off his shoulders. Or even worse can you imagine the guilt he felt? He had been raised to cook for them every morning and you think it wasn’t deeply engraved in his mind that in order to feel some sort of acceptance without doing something for others? You think he didn’t try to do things for his friends those first months at Hogwarts, believing it to be the only way he’d be accepted?

Think even harder about how as the years went on and as he did more things for people it seemingly fed into those beliefs? How every time he saved someone, every time he did something for the school, everyone loved him for it? How Hogwarts was his safe haven, but even then they always expected something from him in return. And when they hated him, and he did something else to save them, suddenly they loved him again. You think he didn’t solidify in his poor, hurt mind that in order him for him to be accepted he had to do these things for the people around him?

Or even the betrayal he MUST have felt when he learned all of this was PLANNED. That he was raised and built and forged to be nothing else other than a hero for a society that always expected that from him.

That despite the fact that he escaped the Dursley’s, he would never be without expectations and responsibilities shoved into him from those around him.

Guys I’m so upset I just want to hold him. He deserved a loving, supportive home, where he should have had no expectations other than to be a child and to be loved. This is secretly a PSA that I fucking hate Albus Dumbledore for the pressure and the manipulation he put on Harry.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Also FUCK Jk Rowling

[arpkmf2]

[depsidase]

[hano-dakukita]

Played with the star trek title generator