Faith Saves Lives @only-as-tall - Tumblr Blog

depsidase

michellechang

had to send an e-mail AND make a phone call today

dankmemeuniversity

egberts

the bucket and the toilet paper........

memewhore

stupidcommentdepository

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

increasedenthalpy-deactivated20

male writer trying to give his female characters dimension: rape and sexual assault

male writer trying to give his male characters dimension: his wife was brutally murdered

closet-keys

That post about Edward from twilight is going to singlehandedly change the definition of “effervescent.” In like 3 decades there’ll be a note on the etymology of the secondary definition and it’ll have to cite that snail post as the origin of the linguistic shift

waral

What's it supposed to mean now?

closet-keys

Effervescent’s primary definition is a chemistry term referring to air escaping from liquid in foam, bubbles, or fizziness and the etymology connects back to the Latin verb fervere (to boil). There is already a secondary definition, which I’m guessing is what the OP of that post was using, meaning like “a bubbly personality” or vivacious, enthusiastic, etc. The idea of the post is that his character would look at something small, slow, quiet, (boring) like a snail and just interpret it as this lively wonderful being-- which tracks with the common understanding of Bella as a character lacking much personality or liveliness and Edward finding her to be the same way. But, with the post being meme’d, the connotation is shifting from a sort of descriptor of bubbly personality to the idea of finding something incredible or awe inspiring (with a layer of irony added in that it’s something not usually regarded as incredible or awe inspiring). The usage and thus the definition is gradually shifting in a similar direction to “fantastic” or “awesome” where the original usage has taken a back seat to a much more common usage of hyperbole.

torpidglory

nimrod... TWO!

turing-tested

its really weird to see all these articles about how people who have ADHD have sleeping problems but the issue I have is that if you look at it as a matter of your circadian rythym being out of sync? of COURSE you’re not going to be able to sleep. we don’t say people who can’t fall asleep at 4 pm and sleep 8 hours have insomnia, because that’s not a normally agreed upon time to sleep and its not your bodies time to sleep. if you tell someone to go to bed at 10 and they can’t sleep till 3 am sometimes in just not insomnia. people with ADHD are often wired to sleep from 4 am to 12 pm ish because of the delayed onset of melatonin but if you let us go to bed at the time we need? most of us actually sleep pretty well and consistently.

raven-dreaming-deactivated20210

wAIT THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT EXISTS

turing-tested

“For most adults the onset of melatonin is around 9.30 pm; in ADHD children compared to controls this occurs at least 45 minutes later, and in adults with ADHD even 90 minutes (van der Heijden ea, 2005; van Veen ea 2010). After melatonin onset, it normally takes 2 hours to fall asleep, but in adults with ADHD it takes at least 3 hours (Bijlenga et al, 2013).”

flukeoffate

Look at me awake at 1:47 am and reblogging this post.

kayeych

So I’m actually trained in therapy for addressing insomnia and one of the things we learned is that a good chunk of sleep problems are societal disorders - as in they WOULDN’T EXIST as problems if society didn’t assume everyone was on the same circadian rhythm and that being up and working 9-5 was mandatory/normal. Blew my mind and made so much sense. You are not the problem, society is literally the problem.

sevarate

mcdonalds-free-wifi

me in the nursing home on my 2 hours of awake time

alyssadrawing

the koi in the koi pond waiting for you to feed them the food pebbles

spooksandwheezes

this bitch said “,okay,”

raviposting

Shane: “If you are going to kill me, turn the right one off.”

[music note as flashlight turns off]

Shane: “Okay!”

kirythestitchwitch

okay so, I have a Story about a customer we had tonight

so this guy in a fancy denim cowboy shirt (a jirt, if you will) came in during our dinner rush and ordered two burritos. the girl (T) doing the hot station (beans and rice and meat) was like "okie dokie, what do you want on them?"

this guy goes "I want Everything on the burritos, except the corn, jalapeños, and cheese."

T pauses to check

"You want Everything?"

"Yes, all the meats, and then all the vegetables."

"So you want... the steak, and the chicken, and the white meat chicken, and the ground beef, and the pulled pork, and the tofu?"

"What's tofu?"

"A soybean protein, comes in spongy blocks."

"You had me at protein, put it on!"

T turns to me. "Can we... can we do that?"

I slap on my manager tone of voice. "Sir, each extra scoop is going to be about $2.09-2.59 each, is that okay?"

he reassures us that is fine. I okay the Frankenburrito

T starts making his burritos. with each extra scoop the mound of food gets larger and larger. she is sweating bullets by the time she slides the first burrito to the cold table

so tonight was the first night J the new boy had been working cold. he has zero experience rolling burritos previous to the last two hours

he looks at this thing and goes "Do i.... have to?" o_o

absolutely not

I step up to the table and start piling on lettuce and pico de gallo and guac and onions and cucumbers and olives and cilantro

when I am done I look down at this thing, I look up at this man, and i sigh

Sir, I don't mean to question your life choices, but can I put this in a bowl? there is no way I can roll this.

"No it's fine," he insists. "Just use another tortilla to like, extend them out, and then roll it up."

....

Sir.

"You can do this, it'll be fine!"

so i get another 12" tortilla

like kinda overlap them?

and then sorta?? roll one into the other so it is a literal Tube of Meat

the ends did not fold in there was no Containing this thing

I grabbed another foil wrapper so I could roll this thing into two of them and kinda smash the ends in

I squinted at the customer

"It's great, it's fine!" he says, cheerfully

T hands me the Second Burrito

I do it ALL OVER AGAIN

and then take these two giant lumps to the cashier

the cashier, A, is looking over in horror

"[Kiry], how do I even ring those up???"

it's okay, I've got this

the man requests no chips, so I pack each burrito (which for some scale is about the size of a small puppy each) sideways in a paper bag and put them in a plastic bag for carry out

I ring him up, adding scoop after scoop

$47.20 y'all, for two burritos

A is about to die

"$47.20????"

"that is what you get when you get fuckin Noah's Ark over here!!" I say

I may have been having a stroke by that point

the man laughs and hands over his card np

"Are you okay?" he asks me

I am terrific

"Are you mad at me?"

Sir, this is the most delighted I have been in days. I am going to go on the internet and tell Everyone I Know this story

he is ecstatic. he takes his burritos, wishes us a great night, and leaves

I am unsure what kind of eldrich being is currently unhinging his jaw to devour these burritos since he was wearing a gaiter the whole time, but i wish him well