Laying in bed with Cags one morning, the two of you talking about the future and kids but you have to tell him that you can’t have kids and he reassures you that he’s okay with it and tells you how much he still wants to spend the rest of his life with you
It was one of those mornings when neither of you were pushing the other to get up, you were just enjoying each other's presence. Caglar absentmindedly runs the back of one hand over one of your bare arms while you are resting on his chest relaxing following the rhythm of his chest going up and down.
"Do you feel that?" he asks suddenly making his chest vibrate.
"Hmm what?" you murmur with your voice still hoarse blinking to stay focused, the silence and relaxation not congenial to staying awake.
"Are you okay?" you giggle raising your head to look at him resting your chin on his chest, a gentle smile on his face.
"It's just that I was thinking about when we'll have the house full of little ones crying out for us at all hours of the day and night and these moments will be so precious" you smile sadly shifting your gaze from his face so dreamy, dropping your face to his chest and feeling one of his hands immediately in your hair.
"I'm sorry, I'm running too fast I know" you can hear the disappointment in his voice and you squeeze your eyes tightly shut to avoid letting out that moan in your throat. You don't want him to misunderstand, you would love the idea of having children with him; you're dying to see him with a newborn in his arms, with his own piercing gaze and see them playing together or being protective. But the reality is very different.
"I can't" you murmur against the fabric of his shirt but he frowns not being able to understand.
"(Y/N) I didn't mean to scare you or put pressure on you in any way. It was just a thought"
"It's not that. Cags-" your broken voice interrupts you and he sits up being careful not to hurt you, your head now falling on his thigh as he strokes your hair.
"I can't have babies" you finally drop the bomb, your gaze lost in front of you filling with tears with some falling directly onto his shorts from the position you're in.
His hand doesn't stop stroking you rhythmically, his gaze now lowered towards you, but you don't look at him. And you can feel his gaze on you, closing your eyes and letting a few sobs shake your body.
"(Y/N) hey no shh" he leans over you leaving a kiss on your temple trying to chase away those tears as he can given the position.
"(Y/N) do you think I can leave you for this?" you don't answer, a sob however shakes your body and then he catches you by surprise taking you by the shoulders and making you turn with your back against the mattress, face to face with him. He precedes you by anchoring his hands to your cheeks, not allowing you to cover your face in any way.
"Just breathe okay, while you listen to me" he passes his thumbs gently over your cheeks hinting at a smile, "It's okay. I can assure you that my feelings for you haven't changed in the last few minutes"
"But you just said that-"
"There's so much still meant for us" he interrupts you, "and so many ways to get what we want, that goes all the time not just when you say it to me" a half smile forms on your face and he takes that victory in stride.
"I'm not going to lie to you, I'll probably need a few days to process this but I love you (Y/N) and that doesn't change" one of your hands goes to clasp his full of appreciation, leaving a light kiss on its back.
"Sorry" you murmur but he shakes his head leaning down to leave a kiss on your forehead. And you never imagined that a day started out in the calmest way possible could end like this.