You're saying it wrong.

It's Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, and make the 'gar' nice and long.

[onlyhermione]

ᴀ ɢɪғᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴡʟʏᴡᴇᴅs

On top of the collection of photographs lies a folded sheet of parchment. 

Dear Harry and Ginny Potter, 

I can not believe you didn't tell me about your plans! I will try not to chide you too much, because I know you are going to get an earful from Mrs. Weasley. As you should. But all considered, I greatly admire what you have done today. It is very brave, very chivalrous, very reckless, and very Harry and Ginny. I wish you both all the love in the world. 

I found these moving photos Colin took over Christmas, I believe they were taken in the common room. I thought you would like to have them, they are, after all, a testament to the vows you have already spoken. You can see it in each of your expressions. 

Love, 

Hermione

[carriefishers-archive]

"Bloody Hell, Harry!  That was not funny!"

[cbvsop-deactivated20140705]

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[genuinelyluna-blog]

[wrenches her arm back, skittering back a few paces and swaying] Don’t- d-don’t touch me! [takes a few calming breathes] I’ll tell you, but don’t do that again.

The fellow was just some older bloke last night. I dunno, this body’s old enough for that sort of thing now, so why not? And the other Hermiones are alright. They’re both very like you in their own way but the one I like best has stopped caring because she was in the dungeons maybe longer than me. She’s very fun now. She showed me all sorts of fun things.

[onlyhermione]

[ She backs into a corner, recoiling but not willing to run away from a once-friend. ] I won't. Luna, I know I haven't been there in the past but--

I didn't know you meant as serious as, as that. I'm here, if you'd like to talk about it. [ Listens as she talks about the dungeons ] I don't know if she's the one you met, but there's a version of me I know, she lives in my dorm. Would you like to talk with her? 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[genuinelyluna-blog]

Well, we’ve both got our mystery fellows then, it seems.

Oh, I’ve seen a lot of you. Just not the you version of you.

[onlyhermione]

You have fellows? And other Hermiones? [ Takes her by the arm with little mark of decorum ] 

But you must tell me everything. I'm attempting to piece together this mess. Were the other Hermione's--me-ish? 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[redheadgin-deactivated20131129]

[She collects herself] I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. You’re right, I’m sorry, Hermione. Respect your elders and all. [She holds back a snort]

[onlyhermione]

You're not going to pull that one on me, are you? 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[genuinelyluna-blog]

Hmmm. I don’t know. Do you know who this is?

[onlyhermione]

I don't know, other than he was rather more delicate than I'm accustomed to. 

Luna, correct? I've missed you. 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[redheadgin-deactivated20131129]

[She laughs] Honestly, I can’t take much of what you’re saying seriously, since you’re about the same age as Aunt Muriel, and that’s old. 

[onlyhermione]

Ginny. 

It's funny, but I really expected more of you than those other vain Slytherin bats. 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[redheadgin-deactivated20131129]

[She grins] Yeah, that’s me. Guessing the hair gives it away.

Hermione? Whoa, you certainly were thirsty Friday night, that’s for certain.

[onlyhermione]

I had a goblet and a half, and that's all I maintain. 

Say what you will. 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

[redheadgin-deactivated20131129]

Merlin, even with old age you’re still getting action. I think that’s a good thing, whoever you are, yeah?

[onlyhermione]

No means no, as I should remind...dear Godric...Ginny? Ginny Weasley? 

It's Hermione. 

[onlyhermione]

Can anyone identify this man?

Because of the potion I can't identify him. Anyone with a clue should send me an owl. 

[cormac-the-bamf]

what the hell?

[cormac-the-bamf]

Looks like we’re just lucky since I don’t see too many other senior citizens around.

For an old broad you look good, though. 

[onlyhermione]

The shock for me about did it, but I'm reasonably fine with it now. I'm the same inside, which is what counts. 

[ Doesn't know how to take this. ] Thanks. [ She finds it strange that the Cormac she didn't go on a date with would find the need to compliment her. ]

[posh-lavender-brown-deactivated]

I have to wear this contraption

in order to keep my tits as perky as they were.

[onlyhermione]

Where did you find that contraption? 

[bitterdunbar]

Is it just me...

[bitterdunbar]

[Resists the urge to burst into hysterics]Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll wear off soon. Apparently it’s got something to do with the pumpkin juice. I’m guessing you must have been thirsty last night.

[onlyhermione]

[ Bites down on her lip, not knowing how to express herself and afraid of what she sees. ]

Yes, yes it has to wear off. They can't get away with this, it's stealing my life. I did have a goblet or two of it with dinner, do you know if this is connected to the clones? Another horrible attempt at a distraction? 

[cormac-the-bamf]

what the hell?

[cormac-the-bamf]

Hermione? You’re shitting me.

Cormac. Old as a dinosaur, but still Cormac.

[onlyhermione]

Yes, I don't know what happened but the girls let me leave the dorm this morning like this. 

Cormac? Is everyone this affected? 

[cormac-the-bamf]

what the hell?

[cormac-the-bamf]

Who even are you and where did you bloody well come from?

[onlyhermione]

Hermione Granger. Pleasure. 

And you? 

[cormac-the-bamf]

what the hell?

I feel like I’m fucking dying! Even my bones hurt.

[onlyhermione]

I know the feeling.