I have given up on myself completely,but one strange thing is that i feel like my entire life was a dream. Everything seems so surreal! I have always struggled with keeping a grasp on reality! I guess when you get succumbed to this dreadful feeling,being depressed, you get used to creating an illusion for yourself,maybe it's a coping mechanism?when i remember myself as a child i don't think of happy memories. Instead, i think of how i used to ignore the obvious mental torture and traumas. No one, literally noone knows how i've lived my life. Seeing all that I've seen from such a young age has such drastic changes on your personality. But all these things doesn't have any relevance now,it doesn't matter how my childhood was or how my teenage should've been. Nothing matters because when i think of my future i feel like i am not designed to grasp the concept of happiness i will never not be sad. I am built that way, and yes i'm too sensitive and i don't think i can ever change that. The future is all what we really work so hard for right? But what outcome will it have if you are consumed by sorrow? If you're never satisfied with yourself? And this doesn't feel like it developed in the recent years,it feels like it's always been a part of me, like a tumor, ever-growing,killing me slowly from the inside,noone can see it so they don't feel for it. Anyways, all these things do not have any platitude because nothing really matters anymore.
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
