Opal @opal-zodiac - Tumblr Blog

~I will just be posting random thoughts on here~

It’s always fun seeing people make plans in front of your face and being the only person not asked if you want to come with. Really makes you feel like you matter.

I have recently come to terms that I am the kind of person who is tolerated but not necessarily liked. People won’t mind when I am apart of the conversation, but I am just not likeable enough for people to make conversation with me out of their own volition. I am just there.

It’s not really something that upsets me too much. But it does feel kind of lonely.

#personal rant

I am so confused about my sexuality. My brain says that I don’t care what gender they are, love is love and you can’t control that.

But I don’t find men hot. And I LOVE women, because how could I not. They are all so incredibly hot. I don’t really care for men.

And I’m also ew relationships.

I’m so fucking confused

I work in a family park that has bumper cars. I find it really funny sometimes. I have to click the button for the bell and after that the button to start. But the moment they hear the bell they grabs the wheel really quickly. Or like I conditioned them to do that. It makes me laugh.

I’m on an app where you can meet new people and some messages give me physical damage. Like holy fuck why would you send me that. Can I bleach my eyes?

I have “just looking for friends” on my profile, but people still send me explicit messages. Like read the room dude. Just because I am on this app and single doesn’t mean I am looking for hook ups or relationships. Fuck off.

The thinly vailed transphobia at this dinner table is wild.

Boys in puberty can be so delusional. It’s almost funny. My brother had a pair of pants that are 6 sizes to big. He is trying to convince me and my parents that the pants look good. He just looks stupid. The pants are so not flattering.

God I wanna go out with friends so bad. It’s carnaval today so it’s a day where people go party. I wanted to go so bad, but I am not about to go on my own. I am beginning to feel like I am missing out on things. I am at the age where people go clubbing and such but nooo I am sitting alone in my room. God I feel like a loser some times.

#personal rant

I hate irregular periods with a passion. I never know if my period is a few days before the app says or a few days after. Like the app already does calculations and it still can’t predict it. Just the constant fear of it starting when I am somewhere where i ruin my pants.

#irregularperiods

This song describes the fear that I always have with friends so incredibly well.

Songs never make my cry, but this song does

#vunerability #personal rant

When I ever come out I will just pick a random day during pride month and post a picture of the pansexual pride flag without any explanation. I think that will be funny.

Some people have daily or weekly cries

I have yearly cries

I cry like once a year about how I am left with trust issues from last friendships and that they all pretty much ghost me after a while. After that I am fine and never think about it until the next year.

I have such a hate for the year 2016. There has come nothing good from 2016. I blame that year for all the cringe stuff. The dab, fidget spinners, etc. I will even blame 2016 for the vape.

I have these awful growing like pain. I have stopped growing a few years ago, but still now I get these pains that are so similar. My growing pains when I was a child were always incredibly painful. I have a good pain tolerance but this is awful. I feels like my shin is just breaking apart.

But I just know that when I go to the doctor that they will say again that if I don’t know what causes it, that they can’t help me. I heard that when I went to the doctor because I had these awful pains that started at my elbow that radiated to my wrist and the start of my fingers. It made me so angry because I came to you for a reason for the pain.

But I guess this is just something I am going to have to live with.

Being ignored is such an upsetting thing to me. Even someone not saying hi back is enough for me to start crying. I don’t know if it is the trauma of having no friends for a solid 2 years or if I am just sensitive.

Religion has no business in politics. There is a reason that there have been conflicts about church and state.

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