When Barako started off with ‘I’m sorry about your legs,’ Lucian was confused. That wasn’t what they had been talking about, it didn’t really have anything to do with anything. Except to be a cushion for what she said next.
An issue I have with you.
I can’t accept that you’re a vampire.
Lucian visibly flinched when Barako said that, and it just kept going from there. Getting worse. She was– she was attacking him, mocking how he dressed and how he acted. This wasn’t like Ren saying they didn’t like him because he didn’t know boundaries, this was different. This was personal. And then she’s talking about dissection and lying through her teeth, right to his face, about it’s not that I don’t believe you.
He wasn’t sure when exactly the tears had welled into his eyes, or when the lump rose in his throat. Hoshimi spoke up, and he was grateful, really. She still had his back.
“… So you were… just making fun of me because… because why? Because I wasn’t like you? Just because I look different, just because I’m not human anymore?” Lucian’s voice trembles, but there’s an edge of hurt defensiveness there. "Are you jealous because I’m… I’m comfortable knowing who I am?” But he’s not comfortable being torn down. He’s not.
“I’m not the only one! I run several of the blogs! The vampire who turned me was part of the medical community! I don’t… I don’t know everything, I’m just– I’m doing my best, okay? I got my title for a reason, because Hope’s Peak sees my research and sees that I’m making a difference!” Or maybe he wasn’t.
Maybe everyone who indulged him was just like Barako. Just like Yoshiro.
How many people were lying to him?
“Everyone else is just scared to come out of the darkness because of people like you.” His cheeks and nose flush a little and he is blinking back tears, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around himself.
“I’m dead. I don’t have a pulse. I’m not alive. And I don’t– I shouldn’t have to prove I exist to everyone just to have you stop making fun of me!” Lucian’s eyes squeeze shut and he leans forwards, finally uncrossing his arms to put his face in his hands.
It hurt. Everything about what Barako was saying hurt. Several seconds pass as he takes a shaky breath before continuing, softer. “… You even… you said it was your blood. You didn’t have to. You could have… could have just…” But he trails off instead of finishing the statement. “And you were just laughing at me while I believed you.”
... Barako isn’t sure how to respond to his words.
The vampire who turned him was part of the medical community? What? That part made her pause especially. But hearing everything else is what made her pause. So that was how it was, huh? Barako keeps a composed expression as she hears him.
“... yes Domnul Ravenholm. I’ll admit that I lied to you. I did it because I didn’t believe you. And my initial assumption was you were simply playing some kind of... insane game with myself. Perhaps that was wrong of me, considering your feelings are obviously hurt. I am sorry for that.”
Barako leans back and crosses her arms.
“And perhaps Abe-san is correct. Ultimately this isn’t my argument to make. So perhaps I should just leave you with my brutally honest opinion and let you to your own devices. But I will say this, Domnul Ravenholm.”
“I think you do know a lot about vampires. They’re a cultural touchstone over multiple different societies and countries. Studying such commonalities in mythology is hardly an unnecessary practice. In fact I do the same thing in my work with translation. It is my own talent in fact, to understand the nuances of a wide variety of people and put them into words others might understand.”
She leans back in forward.
“I also know for a fact you’re an individual who likes to wear ostentatious clothing, heavy makeup and has no compulsions about drinking other people’s blood. All of that describes you yes. And culturally, symbolically and according to myth those elements are associated with vampires. It’s clear you have an affinity for them. All of that... well... I wouldn’t necessarily like you, but I’d at least understand where you’re coming from. It’s what your claims say about the world at large, not just yourself that irked me.”
“My point is: I don’t think you’re stupid or anything. At least not anymore. Hearing you say all this I... actually have some doubts lingering in my own mind. Though I won’t say what they’re of since they’re mere hypothesis,” she finishes as she rubs her chin.
Hoshimi or Keiko or someone HAD to have checked whether or not Lucian had a pulse or a heartbeat at this point. Online he could’ve probably hidden that, so it’s doubtful Keiko could’ve gotten any real information.
Hoshimi HAD to have put her ear to his chest by now, right? Either out of affection or curiosity. So... maybe Lucian really didn’t have a heartbeat or pulse? But that wouldn’t make sense. There’s no way someone could live without a pulse-
... life without a pulse...
“D-domnul Ravenholm?” Barako began, “... would you mind if I listened to your chest? I mean... just so I can know for certain. AFTER ALL I... I figured you’d have no issue PROVING to myself that you are indeed one of the walking dead, correct?”
A thought enters Barako’s mind an she feels she has to see for herself.
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