hey Guys lol

if you’re reading this, come to my house and kill me

[base-and-superstructure]

I hate you job applications I hate you psychometric aptitude testing I hate you CVs I hate you interviews I hate you online forms I hate you never hearing back I hate you cover letters

[rubysapphrald]

rat bastard is such a funny insult

[rubysapphrald]

something about it is so weirdly hard hitting. you rat bastard. if someone called me that i’d be more offended than if they called me a motherfucker

[bobo-the-part-time-clown]

[gomjabbar]

your friend brett in 2003: “hey guys! ready for a deathmatch round in blood gulch?”

you and your two other friends who found a glowing crystal in the back of your house that gave you a prophetic glimpse into the future where the three of you live successful lives but only if brett dies following a series of finely-connected events that begin with him winning a round of deathmatch on blood gulch: “yeah brett you’re on”

[botanyshitposts]

love doing something I call ‘the big leaf test’ where I put my hand on a leaf and if the leaf is bigger than my hand I go damn that’s crazy

[memewhore]

[markets]

We all got that homie whose air of silliness doesnt hide the haunted look in their eyes😂👆

[lolt64]

i just showed an ant the truth and it popped like a firecracker

[foxydunsparce]

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

woodstock chill man it's alright take your time it's no problem i love you thanks for being here

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

there's an antfluencer doing an icrumb giveaway in your backyard

[raleighdotcom]

[memorycycle]

that rock you kicked down the road and then left behind still thinks youre coming back for it one day btw

[catchymemes]

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

I cant stop coming back to this tweet

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

[monster2003]

[abigail]

when i got home after the new years celebrations last night, i took off my boots and found this pin stuck in the bottom of one of them,, a good sign for the new year perhaps ? :-) 

[reconnoiterish]