Please Comission Me

age: 30

[powerfulcrumpets-inc]

You're not as interesting as you think you are

OH MY GOD YALL IT"S HAPPENING MY FIRST ANON HATE

[boxheadpaint]

fear not: you can also “attack” your friends even outside of art fight, so if you miss the chance to before august 2nd you can always get them after with no repercussions. No crime will be committed either way and its actually fine to draw art for others at any other time of the year

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends

[dragongirlsweetie]

do NOT let people enjoy things. hold the line

[powerfulcrumpets-inc]

o7 yes ma'am

[kushblazer666]

[kushblazer666]

[kushblazer666]

[7dmom]

I'm part of a elite team who is the government and we go around making sure all little objects and creatures are in line with gods creation becauuese you see a stone has to worship AS A STONE and not another thing like say a frog or a dark alien and it's our job to use special psycho guns that alter the auras of stuff with special bullets that are kind of like prayer wheels you know how they sprin through the air yeah it's kind of like that and all of us are bad people and I have an eye patch and the criminals want to shoot me in the head with normal guns

[powerfulcrumpets-inc]

Kingdom hearts is that you?

[storywonker]

They recorded tinnitus? It's a physical thing?????

[storywonker]

Lola De La Mata speaks to Patrick Clarke about how her experience with severe tinnitus and vertigo fed into her new album Oceans On Azimuth

Source

[bisexualbaker]

Transcript:

The most mind-blowing moment, not only for De La Mata but the scientists too, came when they managed to actually record the sounds that she heard in her ears – which now appear as ‘Left Ear’ and ‘Right Ear’ which begin sides A and B on the album – and in doing so opened up questions about the nature of tinnitus itself. “The NHS definition is that it’s a phantom sound that your brain is creating, that it isn’t something ‘real’, so you should try to ignore it.” By having De La Mata place her ear into an anechoic chamber, with an ultra-sensitive microphone perched in her ear canal, they were able to provide significant evidence to the contrary. “After the first recording of it, it was ‘There’s no way, this isn’t possible.’” They tried again with her breath held, and again with her tensing her ears, and again with other members of staff, but each time it became apparent that yes, the noises De La Mata hears are seemingly something physical.

[uhhhhmanda]

HOLY SHIT THAT'S WHAT I HEAR ALL DAY

[thestuffedalligator]

They’ve been rebuilding the Tower of Babel, but this time they have a team of linguists on site. Every time God smites the builders and invents a dozen new languages, the linguists have a dozen decently sized translations in about a month and work can start up again.

The linguists have been really into it. They say the new phonemes are fascinating. As for God, I assume that at this point he’s just curious to see how far this goes.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

To keep us on out toes, God gives the next group of builders an extra place of articulation called the flongus between the pharynx and the glottis, creating an entire new column of the IPA chart with sounds between sounds that are literally physiologically impossible for non-flongled people to replicate.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Improved symbols for the flongal plosives ("gacks"), flongal trill ("hacks"), flongal fricatives ("groans"), and and the flongal lateral approximant ("moans")

[inthefallofasparrow]

Update: The builders have now simply switched to communicating entirely through a universal sign language like they should've done to start with. No sounds need be spoken, flongal or otherwise. The Tower steadily rises. Be seeing you soon, God, you little bitch.

[koth-harvest-final]

update: the builders are all speaking different sign languages now

[cuckerfailson]

girls should have good things happen to them and not just occasionally but all the time. actually.

[2colde]

how it genuinely feels

[malottie]

girl who is so so scared all the time. girl who once passed as 'smart' but now finds it hard to think. girl who's always half lost because of memory issues and dissociation and trouble with inhabiting a physical space. girl who is a failure in a way that is neither interesting nor endearing.

[geniusbee]

comic for a little seattle anthology i did. this is my cat db cooper :)

[omnybus]

Teen LGBT Squad

Another Homestar Runner fancomic for pride month, this time starring the Teen Girl Squad.

This was mostly an excuse to make that “ow mein kampf” joke

[phillychizsteak]

A wonderful piece from JamiePhut on twitter !

[goats-ablaze]

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again

[thereisselfpreservation]